The Merry Wives of Windsor

Folger Shakespeare Library

http://www.folgerdigitaltexts.org


From the Director of the Folger Shakespeare Library

It is hard to imagine a world without Shakespeare. Since their composition four hundred years ago, Shakespeare’s plays and poems have traveled the globe, inviting those who see and read his works to make them their own.

Readers of the New Folger Editions are part of this ongoing process of “taking up Shakespeare,” finding our own thoughts and feelings in language that strikes us as old or unusual and, for that very reason, new. We still struggle to keep up with a writer who could think a mile a minute, whose words paint pictures that shift like clouds. These expertly edited texts are presented to the public as a resource for study, artistic adaptation, and enjoyment. By making the classic texts of the New Folger Editions available in electronic form as Folger Digital Texts, we place a trusted resource in the hands of anyone who wants them.

The New Folger Editions of Shakespeare’s plays, which are the basis for the texts realized here in digital form, are special because of their origin. The Folger Shakespeare Library in Washington, DC, is the single greatest documentary source of Shakespeare’s works. An unparalleled collection of early modern books, manuscripts, and artwork connected to Shakespeare, the Folger’s holdings have been consulted extensively in the preparation of these texts. The Editions also reflect the expertise gained through the regular performance of Shakespeare’s works in the Folger’s Elizabethan Theater.

I want to express my deep thanks to editors Barbara Mowat and Paul Werstine for creating these indispensable editions of Shakespeare’s works, which incorporate the best of textual scholarship with a richness of commentary that is both inspired and engaging. Readers who want to know more about Shakespeare and his plays can follow the paths these distinguished scholars have tread by visiting the Folger either in-person or online, where a range of physical and digital resources exists to supplement the material in these texts. I commend to you these words, and hope that they inspire.

Michael Witmore
Director, Folger Shakespeare Library



Textual Introduction
By Barbara Mowat and Paul Werstine

Until now, with the release of the Folger Digital Texts, readers in search of a free online text of Shakespeare’s plays had to be content primarily with using the Moby™ Text, which reproduces a late-nineteenth century version of the plays. What is the difference? Many ordinary readers assume that there is a single text for the plays: what Shakespeare wrote. But Shakespeare’s plays were not published the way modern novels or plays are published today: as a single, authoritative text. In some cases, the plays have come down to us in multiple published versions, represented by various Quartos (Qq) and by the great collection put together by his colleagues in 1623, called the First Folio (F). There are, for example, three very different versions of Hamlet, two of King Lear, Henry V, Romeo and Juliet, and others. Editors choose which version to use as their base text, and then amend that text with words, lines or speech prefixes from the other versions that, in their judgment, make for a better or more accurate text.

Other editorial decisions involve choices about whether an unfamiliar word could be understood in light of other writings of the period or whether it should be changed; decisions about words that made it into Shakespeare’s text by accident through four hundred years of printings and misprinting; and even decisions based on cultural preference and taste. When the Moby™ Text was created, for example, it was deemed “improper” and “indecent” for Miranda to chastise Caliban for having attempted to rape her. (See The Tempest, 1.2: “Abhorred slave,/Which any print of goodness wilt not take,/Being capable of all ill! I pitied thee…”). All Shakespeare editors at the time took the speech away from her and gave it to her father, Prospero.

The editors of the Moby™ Shakespeare produced their text long before scholars fully understood the proper grounds on which to make the thousands of decisions that Shakespeare editors face. The Folger Library Shakespeare Editions, on which the Folger Digital Texts depend, make this editorial process as nearly transparent as is possible, in contrast to older texts, like the Moby™, which hide editorial interventions. The reader of the Folger Shakespeare knows where the text has been altered because editorial interventions are signaled by square brackets (for example, from Othello: “square bracketIf she in chains of magic were not bound,square bracket”), half-square brackets (for example, from Henry V: “With half-square bracketbloodhalf-square bracket and sword and fire to win your right,”), or angle brackets (for example, from Hamlet: “O farewell, honest angle bracketsoldier.angle bracket Who hath relieved/you?”). At any point in the text, you can hover your cursor over a bracket for more information.

Because the Folger Digital Texts are edited in accord with twenty-first century knowledge about Shakespeare’s texts, the Folger here provides them to readers, scholars, teachers, actors, directors, and students, free of charge, confident of their quality as texts of the plays and pleased to be able to make this contribution to the study and enjoyment of Shakespeare.


Synopsis

In The Merry Wives of Windsor, fat, disreputable Sir John Falstaff pursues two housewives, Mistress Ford and Mistress Page, who outwit and humiliate him instead. Meanwhile, three suitors seek the hand of Anne Page, Mistress Page’s daughter.

Falstaff hopes to seduce the wives so he can gain access to their husbands’ wealth. Ford learns of Falstaff’s approaches and is consumed by jealousy. In disguise, he befriends Falstaff to learn about Mistress Ford’s behavior. The wives, however, trick Falstaff and Ford. As Falstaff visits Mistress Ford, Mistress Page announces that Ford is coming. Falstaff hides in a basket of dirty laundry and is thrown in the river.

Another visit ends similarly: Falstaff disguises himself as “the fat woman of Brentford,” whom Ford hates. Ford beats “her” in anger. Finally, Falstaff is lured to a comical nighttime rendezvous where all of Windsor comes together, Falstaff is publicly humiliated, and Ford admits his folly. Two of Anne Page’s suitors elope with boys in disguise while Anne marries her chosen suitor, Fenton.


Characters in the Play
Mistress Ford
Ford, her husband
John
Robert
bracket
their servants
Mistress Page
Page, her husband
Anne, their daughter
William, their son
Doctor Caius, a French doctor, suitor to Anne Page
Mistress Quickly, the doctor’s housekeeper
John Rugby, the doctor’s manservant
Sir Hugh Evans, a Welsh parson
Host of the Garter Inn
Windsor Children, disguised as fairies
Sir John Falstaff, an impoverished knight
Robin, his page
Bardolph
Pistol
Nym
bracket
Falstaff’s servants
Fenton, a gentleman, suitor to Anne Page
Robert Shallow, a visiting justice of the peace
Abraham Slender, his nephew, a young gentleman suitor to Anne Page
Simple, Slender’s servant

ACT 1
Scene 1
Enter Justice Shallow, Slender, editorial emendationandeditorial emendation Sir Hugh Evans.

SHALLOW  FTLN 0001Sir Hugh, persuade me not. I will make a
FTLN 0002 Star-Chamber matter of it. If he were twenty Sir
FTLN 0003 John Falstaffs, he shall not abuse Robert Shallow,
FTLN 0004 Esquire.
SLENDER  FTLN 00055In the county of Gloucester, Justice of Peace
FTLN 0006 and Coram.
SHALLOW  FTLN 0007Ay, Cousin Slender, and Custalorum.
SLENDER  FTLN 0008Ay, and Ratolorum too; and a gentleman born,
FTLN 0009 Master Parson, who writes himself “Armigero”
FTLN 001010 in any bill, warrant, quittance, or obligation—
FTLN 0011 “Armigero!”
SHALLOW  FTLN 0012Ay, that I do, and have done any time these
FTLN 0013 three hundred years.
SLENDER  FTLN 0014All his successors gone before him hath
FTLN 001515 done ’t, and all his ancestors that come after him
FTLN 0016 may. They may give the dozen white luces in their
FTLN 0017 coat.
SHALLOW  FTLN 0018It is an old coat.
SIR HUGH  FTLN 0019The dozen white louses do become an old
FTLN 002020 coat well. It agrees well, passant. It is a familiar
FTLN 0021 beast to man and signifies love.
SHALLOW  FTLN 0022The luce is the fresh fish. The salt fish is an
FTLN 0023 old coat.
SLENDER  FTLN 0024I may quarter, coz.
7

9
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 1. SC. 1

SHALLOW  FTLN 002525You may, by marrying.
SIR HUGH  FTLN 0026It is marring indeed, if he quarter it.
SHALLOW  FTLN 0027Not a whit.
SIR HUGH  FTLN 0028Yes, py ’r Lady. If he has a quarter of your
FTLN 0029 coat, there is but three skirts for yourself, in my
FTLN 003030 simple conjectures. But that is all one. If Sir John
FTLN 0031 Falstaff have committed disparagements unto you,
FTLN 0032 I am of the Church, and will be glad to do my
FTLN 0033 benevolence to make atonements and compromises
FTLN 0034 between you.
SHALLOW  FTLN 003535The Council shall hear it; it is a riot.
SIR HUGH  FTLN 0036It is not meet the Council hear a riot. There
FTLN 0037 is no fear of Got in a riot. The Council, look you,
FTLN 0038 shall desire to hear the fear of Got, and not to hear
FTLN 0039 a riot. Take your visaments in that.
SHALLOW  FTLN 004040Ha! O’ my life, if I were young again, the
FTLN 0041 sword should end it.
SIR HUGH  FTLN 0042It is petter that friends is the sword, and end
FTLN 0043 it. And there is also another device in my prain,
FTLN 0044 which peradventure prings goot discretions with
FTLN 004545 it. There is Anne Page, which is daughter to Master
FTLN 0046 Thomas Page, which is pretty virginity.
SLENDER  FTLN 0047Mistress Anne Page? She has brown hair
FTLN 0048 and speaks small like a woman?
SIR HUGH  FTLN 0049It is that fery person for all the ’orld, as just
FTLN 005050 as you will desire. And seven hundred pounds of
FTLN 0051 moneys, and gold, and silver, is her grandsire upon
FTLN 0052 his death’s-bed (Got deliver to a joyful resurrections!)
FTLN 0053 give, when she is able to overtake seventeen
FTLN 0054 years old. It were a goot motion if we leave our
FTLN 005555 pribbles and prabbles, and desire a marriage between
FTLN 0056 Master Abraham and Mistress Anne Page.
SLENDER  FTLN 0057Did her grandsire leave her seven hundred
FTLN 0058 pound?
SIR HUGH  FTLN 0059Ay, and her father is make her a petter
FTLN 006060 penny.

11
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 1. SC. 1

SLENDER  FTLN 0061I know the young gentlewoman. She has
FTLN 0062 good gifts.
SIR HUGH  FTLN 0063Seven hundred pounds and possibilities is
FTLN 0064 goot gifts.
SHALLOW  FTLN 006565Well, let us see honest Master Page. Is Falstaff
FTLN 0066 there?
SIR HUGH  FTLN 0067Shall I tell you a lie? I do despise a liar as I
FTLN 0068 do despise one that is false, or as I despise one that
FTLN 0069 is not true. The knight Sir John is there, and I beseech
FTLN 007070 you be ruled by your well-willers. I will peat
FTLN 0071 the door for Master Page.  editorial emendationHe knocks.editorial emendation What ho?
FTLN 0072 Got pless your house here.
PAGE , editorial emendationwithineditorial emendation  FTLN 0073Who’s there?
SIR HUGH  FTLN 0074Here is Got’s plessing, and your friend, and
FTLN 007575 Justice Shallow, and here young Master Slender,
FTLN 0076 that peradventures shall tell you another tale, if
FTLN 0077 matters grow to your likings.

Enter Master Page.

PAGE  FTLN 0078I am glad to see your Worships well. I thank you
FTLN 0079 for my venison, Master Shallow.
SHALLOW  FTLN 008080Master Page, I am glad to see you. Much
FTLN 0081 good do it your good heart! I wished your venison
FTLN 0082 better; it was ill killed. How doth good Mistress
FTLN 0083 Page? And I thank you always with my heart, la,
FTLN 0084 with my heart.
PAGE  FTLN 008585Sir, I thank you.
SHALLOW  FTLN 0086Sir, I thank you; by yea and no, I do.
PAGE  FTLN 0087I am glad to see you, good Master Slender.
SLENDER  FTLN 0088How does your fallow greyhound, sir? I
FTLN 0089 heard say he was outrun on Cotsall.
PAGE  FTLN 009090It could not be judged, sir.
SLENDER  FTLN 0091You’ll not confess, you’ll not confess.
SHALLOW  FTLN 0092That he will not. ’Tis your fault, ’tis your
FTLN 0093 fault. ’Tis a good dog.
PAGE  FTLN 0094A cur, sir.

13
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 1. SC. 1

SHALLOW  FTLN 009595Sir, he’s a good dog and a fair dog. Can there
FTLN 0096 be more said? He is good and fair. Is Sir John Falstaff
FTLN 0097 here?
PAGE  FTLN 0098Sir, he is within, and I would I could do a good
FTLN 0099 office between you.
SIR HUGH  FTLN 0100100It is spoke as a Christians ought to speak.
SHALLOW  FTLN 0101He hath wronged me, Master Page.
PAGE  FTLN 0102Sir, he doth in some sort confess it.
SHALLOW  FTLN 0103If it be confessed, it is not redressed. Is not
FTLN 0104 that so, Master Page? He hath wronged me, indeed
FTLN 0105105 he hath; at a word, he hath. Believe me. Robert
FTLN 0106 Shallow, Esquire, saith he is wronged.

Enter editorial emendationSir Johneditorial emendation Falstaff, Bardolph, Nym, editorial emendationandeditorial emendation Pistol.

PAGE  FTLN 0107Here comes Sir John.
FALSTAFF  FTLN 0108Now, Master Shallow, you’ll complain of me
FTLN 0109 to the King?
SHALLOW  FTLN 0110110Knight, you have beaten my men, killed my
FTLN 0111 deer, and broke open my lodge.
FALSTAFF  FTLN 0112But not kissed your keeper’s daughter.
SHALLOW  FTLN 0113Tut, a pin. This shall be answered.
FALSTAFF  FTLN 0114I will answer it straight: I have done all this.
FTLN 0115115 That is now answered.
SHALLOW  FTLN 0116The Council shall know this.
FALSTAFF  FTLN 0117’Twere better for you if it were known in
FTLN 0118 counsel. You’ll be laughed at.
SIR HUGH  FTLN 0119Pauca verba, Sir John, good worts.
FALSTAFF  FTLN 0120120Good worts? Good cabbage!—Slender, I
FTLN 0121 broke your head. What matter have you against
FTLN 0122 me?
SLENDER  FTLN 0123Marry, sir, I have matter in my head against
FTLN 0124 you and against your cony-catching rascals, Bardolph,
FTLN 0125125 Nym, and Pistol.
BARDOLPH  FTLN 0126You Banbury cheese!
SLENDER  FTLN 0127Ay, it is no matter.
PISTOL  FTLN 0128How now, Mephostophilus?

15
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 1. SC. 1

SLENDER  FTLN 0129Ay, it is no matter.
NYM  FTLN 0130130Slice, I say! Pauca, pauca. Slice, that’s my humor.
SLENDER , editorial emendation(to Shallow)editorial emendation  FTLN 0131Where’s Simple, my man?
FTLN 0132 Can you tell, cousin?
SIR HUGH  FTLN 0133Peace, I pray you. Now let us understand;
FTLN 0134 there is three umpires in this matter, as I understand:
FTLN 0135135 that is, Master Page (fidelicet Master Page);
FTLN 0136 and there is myself (fidelicet myself); and the three
FTLN 0137 party is, lastly and finally, mine Host of the Garter.
PAGE  FTLN 0138We three to hear it and end it between them.
SIR HUGH  FTLN 0139Fery goot. I will make a prief of it in my
FTLN 0140140 notebook, and we will afterwards ’ork upon the
FTLN 0141 cause with as great discreetly as we can.
FALSTAFF  FTLN 0142Pistol.
PISTOL  FTLN 0143He hears with ears.
SIR HUGH  FTLN 0144The tevil and his tam! What phrase is this,
FTLN 0145145 “He hears with ear”? Why, it is affectations.
FALSTAFF  FTLN 0146Pistol, did you pick Master Slender’s purse?
SLENDER  FTLN 0147Ay, by these gloves, did he—or I would I
FTLN 0148 might never come in mine own great chamber
FTLN 0149 again else—of seven groats in mill-sixpences,
FTLN 0150150 and two Edward shovel-boards that cost me two
FTLN 0151 shilling and twopence apiece of Yed Miller, by
FTLN 0152 these gloves.
FALSTAFF  FTLN 0153Is this true, Pistol?
SIR HUGH  FTLN 0154No, it is false, if it is a pickpurse.
PISTOL  FTLN 0155155Ha, thou mountain foreigner!—Sir John and
FTLN 0156 master mine, I combat challenge of this latten
FTLN 0157 bilbo.—Word of denial in thy labras here! Word of
FTLN 0158 denial! Froth and scum, thou liest.
SLENDER , editorial emendationindicating Nymeditorial emendation  FTLN 0159By these gloves, then ’twas
FTLN 0160160 he.
NYM  FTLN 0161Be avised, sir, and pass good humors. I will say
FTLN 0162 “marry trap with you” if you run the nuthook’s
FTLN 0163 humor on me. That is the very note of it.

17
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 1. SC. 1

SLENDER  FTLN 0164By this hat, then, he in the red face had it.
FTLN 0165165 For, though I cannot remember what I did when
FTLN 0166 you made me drunk, yet I am not altogether an
FTLN 0167 ass.
FALSTAFF  FTLN 0168What say you, Scarlet and John?
BARDOLPH  FTLN 0169Why, sir, for my part, I say the gentleman
FTLN 0170170 had drunk himself out of his five sentences.
SIR HUGH  FTLN 0171It is “his five senses.” Fie, what the ignorance
FTLN 0172 is!
BARDOLPH , editorial emendationto Falstaffeditorial emendation  FTLN 0173And being fap, sir, was, as
FTLN 0174 they say, cashiered. And so conclusions passed the
FTLN 0175175 careers.
SLENDER  FTLN 0176Ay, you spake in Latin then too. But ’tis no
FTLN 0177 matter. I’ll ne’er be drunk whilst I live again but in
FTLN 0178 honest, civil, godly company, for this trick. If I be
FTLN 0179 drunk, I’ll be drunk with those that have the fear of
FTLN 0180180 God, and not with drunken knaves.
SIR HUGH  FTLN 0181So Got ’udge me, that is a virtuous mind.
FALSTAFF  FTLN 0182You hear all these matters denied, gentlemen.
FTLN 0183 You hear it.

Enter Anne Page editorial emendationwith wine.editorial emendation

PAGE  FTLN 0184Nay, daughter, carry the wine in. We’ll drink
FTLN 0185185 within. editorial emendationAnne Page exits.editorial emendation
SLENDER  FTLN 0186O heaven, this is Mistress Anne Page.

Enter Mistress Ford editorial emendationandeditorial emendation Mistress Page.

PAGE  FTLN 0187How now, Mistress Ford?
FALSTAFF  FTLN 0188Mistress Ford, by my troth, you are very well
FTLN 0189 met. By your leave, good mistress. editorial emendationHe kisses her.editorial emendation
PAGE  FTLN 0190190Wife, bid these gentlemen welcome.—Come, we
FTLN 0191 have a hot venison pasty to dinner. Come, gentlemen,
FTLN 0192 I hope we shall drink down all unkindness.
editorial emendationAll but Slender, Shallow, and Sir Hugh exit.editorial emendation
SLENDER  FTLN 0193I had rather than forty shillings I had my
FTLN 0194 book of Songs and Sonnets here!

19
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 1. SC. 1

Enter Simple.

FTLN 0195195 How now, Simple? Where have you been? I must
FTLN 0196 wait on myself, must I? You have not the Book of
FTLN 0197 Riddles
 about you, have you?
SIMPLE  FTLN 0198Book of Riddles? Why, did you not lend it to
FTLN 0199 Alice Shortcake upon Allhallowmas last, a fortnight
FTLN 0200200 afore Michaelmas?
SHALLOW , editorial emendationto Slendereditorial emendation  FTLN 0201Come, coz; come, coz. We stay
FTLN 0202 for you. A word with you, coz. Marry, this, coz:
FTLN 0203 there is, as ’twere, a tender, a kind of tender, made
FTLN 0204 afar off by Sir Hugh here. Do you understand me?
SLENDER  FTLN 0205205Ay, sir, you shall find me reasonable. If it be
FTLN 0206 so, I shall do that that is reason.
SHALLOW  FTLN 0207Nay, but understand me.
SLENDER  FTLN 0208So I do, sir.
SIR HUGH  FTLN 0209Give ear to his motions, Master Slender. I
FTLN 0210210 will description the matter to you, if you be capacity
FTLN 0211 of it.
SLENDER  FTLN 0212Nay, I will do as my cousin Shallow says. I
FTLN 0213 pray you, pardon me. He’s a Justice of Peace in his
FTLN 0214 country, simple though I stand here.
SIR HUGH  FTLN 0215215But that is not the question. The question is
FTLN 0216 concerning your marriage.
SHALLOW  FTLN 0217Ay, there’s the point, sir.
SIR HUGH  FTLN 0218Marry, is it, the very point of it—to Mistress
FTLN 0219 Anne Page.
SLENDER  FTLN 0220220Why, if it be so, I will marry her upon any
FTLN 0221 reasonable demands.
SIR HUGH  FTLN 0222But can you affection the ’oman? Let us command
FTLN 0223 to know that of your mouth, or of your lips;
FTLN 0224 for divers philosophers hold that the lips is parcel of
FTLN 0225225 the mouth. Therefore, precisely, can you carry your
FTLN 0226 good will to the maid?
SHALLOW  FTLN 0227Cousin Abraham Slender, can you love her?

21
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 1. SC. 1

SLENDER  FTLN 0228I hope, sir, I will do as it shall become one
FTLN 0229 that would do reason.
SIR HUGH  FTLN 0230230Nay, Got’s lords and His ladies! You must
FTLN 0231 speak positable, if you can carry her your desires
FTLN 0232 towards her.
SHALLOW  FTLN 0233That you must. Will you, upon good dowry,
FTLN 0234 marry her?
SLENDER  FTLN 0235235I will do a greater thing than that, upon your
FTLN 0236 request, cousin, in any reason.
SHALLOW  FTLN 0237Nay, conceive me, conceive me, sweet coz.
FTLN 0238 What I do is to pleasure you, coz. Can you love the
FTLN 0239 maid?
SLENDER  FTLN 0240240I will marry her, sir, at your request. But if
FTLN 0241 there be no great love in the beginning, yet heaven
FTLN 0242 may decrease it upon better acquaintance, when
FTLN 0243 we are married and have more occasion to know
FTLN 0244 one another. I hope upon familiarity will grow
FTLN 0245245 more content. But if you say “Marry her,” I will
FTLN 0246 marry her. That I am freely dissolved, and
FTLN 0247 dissolutely.
SIR HUGH  FTLN 0248It is a fery discretion answer, save the fall is
FTLN 0249 in the ’ord “dissolutely.” The ’ort is, according to
FTLN 0250250 our meaning, “resolutely.” His meaning is good.
SHALLOW  FTLN 0251Ay, I think my cousin meant well.
SLENDER  FTLN 0252Ay, or else I would I might be hanged, la!

editorial emendationEnter Anne Page.editorial emendation

SHALLOW  FTLN 0253Here comes fair Mistress Anne.—Would I
FTLN 0254 were young for your sake, Mistress Anne.
ANNE  FTLN 0255255The dinner is on the table. My father desires
FTLN 0256 your Worships’ company.
SHALLOW  FTLN 0257I will wait on him, fair Mistress Anne.
SIR HUGH  FTLN 0258’Od’s plessèd will, I will not be absence at
FTLN 0259 the grace. editorial emendationSir Hugh and Shallow exit.editorial emendation
ANNE , editorial emendationto Slendereditorial emendation  FTLN 0260260Will ’t please your Worship to come
FTLN 0261 in, sir?

23
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 1. SC. 1

SLENDER  FTLN 0262No, I thank you, forsooth, heartily. I am very
FTLN 0263 well.
ANNE  FTLN 0264The dinner attends you, sir.
SLENDER  FTLN 0265265I am not ahungry, I thank you, forsooth.  editorial emendation(To
 Simple.)editorial emendation 
FTLN 0266Go, sirrah, for all you are my man, go
FTLN 0267 wait upon my cousin Shallow.  editorial emendation(Simple exits.)editorial emendation A
FTLN 0268 Justice of Peace sometime may be beholding to his
FTLN 0269 friend for a man. I keep but three men and a boy
FTLN 0270270 yet, till my mother be dead. But what though? Yet
FTLN 0271 I live like a poor gentleman born.
ANNE  FTLN 0272I may not go in without your Worship. They will
FTLN 0273 not sit till you come.
SLENDER  FTLN 0274I’ faith, I’ll eat nothing. I thank you as much
FTLN 0275275 as though I did.
ANNE  FTLN 0276I pray you, sir, walk in.
SLENDER  FTLN 0277I had rather walk here, I thank you. I bruised
FTLN 0278 my shin th’ other day with playing at sword and
FTLN 0279 dagger with a master of fence—three veneys for a
FTLN 0280280 dish of stewed prunes—and, by my troth, I cannot
FTLN 0281 abide the smell of hot meat since. Why do your
FTLN 0282 dogs bark so? Be there bears i’ th’ town?
ANNE  FTLN 0283I think there are, sir. I heard them talked of.
SLENDER  FTLN 0284I love the sport well, but I shall as soon quarrel
FTLN 0285285 at it as any man in England. You are afraid if
FTLN 0286 you see the bear loose, are you not?
ANNE  FTLN 0287Ay, indeed, sir.
SLENDER  FTLN 0288That’s meat and drink to me, now. I have
FTLN 0289 seen Sackerson loose twenty times, and have taken
FTLN 0290290 him by the chain. But, I warrant you, the women
FTLN 0291 have so cried and shrieked at it that it passed. But
FTLN 0292 women, indeed, cannot abide ’em; they are very ill-favored
FTLN 0293 rough things.

editorial emendationEnter Page.editorial emendation

PAGE  FTLN 0294Come, gentle Master Slender, come. We stay for
FTLN 0295295 you.

25
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 1. SC. 2

SLENDER  FTLN 0296I’ll eat nothing, I thank you, sir.
PAGE  FTLN 0297By cock and pie, you shall not choose, sir! Come,
FTLN 0298 come.
SLENDER  FTLN 0299Nay, pray you, lead the way.
PAGE  FTLN 0300300Come on, sir.
SLENDER  FTLN 0301Mistress Anne, yourself shall go first.
ANNE  FTLN 0302Not I, sir. Pray you, keep on.
SLENDER  FTLN 0303Truly, I will not go first, truly, la! I will not do
FTLN 0304 you that wrong.
ANNE  FTLN 0305305I pray you, sir.
SLENDER  FTLN 0306I’ll rather be unmannerly than troublesome.
FTLN 0307 You do yourself wrong, indeed, la!
They exit.


Scene 2
Enter editorial emendationSir Hugheditorial emendation Evans and Simple.

SIR HUGH  FTLN 0308Go your ways, and ask of Doctor Caius’
FTLN 0309 house which is the way. And there dwells one Mistress
FTLN 0310 Quickly, which is in the manner of his nurse,
FTLN 0311 or his dry nurse, or his cook, or his laundry—his
FTLN 03125 washer and his wringer.
SIMPLE  FTLN 0313Well, sir.
SIR HUGH  FTLN 0314Nay, it is petter yet. Give her this letter
FTLN 0315  editorial emendation(handing him a paper),editorial emendation for it is a ’oman that altogether’s
FTLN 0316 acquaintance with Mistress Anne Page;
FTLN 031710 and the letter is to desire and require her to solicit
FTLN 0318 your master’s desires to Mistress Anne Page. I pray
FTLN 0319 you, be gone. I will make an end of my dinner;
FTLN 0320 there’s pippins and cheese to come.
They exit.




27
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 1. SC. 3

Scene 3
Enter editorial emendationSir Johneditorial emendation Falstaff, Host, Bardolph, Nym, Pistol,
editorial emendationand Robin, Falstaff’seditorial emendation Page.


FALSTAFF  FTLN 0321Mine Host of the Garter!
HOST  FTLN 0322What says my bullyrook? Speak scholarly and
FTLN 0323 wisely.
FALSTAFF  FTLN 0324Truly, mine Host, I must turn away some of
FTLN 03255 my followers.
HOST  FTLN 0326Discard, bully Hercules, cashier. Let them wag;
FTLN 0327 trot, trot.
FALSTAFF  FTLN 0328I sit at ten pounds a week.
HOST  FTLN 0329Thou ’rt an emperor—Caesar, Keiser, and
FTLN 033010 Pheazar. I will entertain Bardolph. He shall draw,
FTLN 0331 he shall tap. Said I well, bully Hector?
FALSTAFF  FTLN 0332Do so, good mine Host.
HOST  FTLN 0333I have spoke. Let him follow.—Let me see thee
FTLN 0334 froth and editorial emendationlime.editorial emendation I am at a word. Follow.
editorial emendationHost exits.editorial emendation
FALSTAFF  FTLN 033515Bardolph, follow him. A tapster is a good
FTLN 0336 trade. An old cloak makes a new jerkin, a withered
FTLN 0337 servingman a fresh tapster. Go. Adieu.
BARDOLPH  FTLN 0338It is a life that I have desired. I will thrive.
PISTOL  FTLN 0339O base Hungarian wight, wilt thou the spigot
FTLN 034020 wield? editorial emendationBardolph exits.editorial emendation
NYM  FTLN 0341He was gotten in drink. Is not the humor
FTLN 0342 conceited?
FALSTAFF  FTLN 0343I am glad I am so acquit of this tinderbox.
FTLN 0344 His thefts were too open. His filching was like an
FTLN 034525 unskillful singer; he kept not time.
NYM  FTLN 0346The good humor is to steal at a minute’s rest.
PISTOL  FTLN 0347“Convey,” the wise it call. “Steal”? Foh, a fico
FTLN 0348 for the phrase!
FALSTAFF  FTLN 0349Well, sirs, I am almost out at heels.
PISTOL  FTLN 035030Why, then, let kibes ensue.
FALSTAFF  FTLN 0351There is no remedy. I must cony-catch, I
FTLN 0352 must shift.

29
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 1. SC. 3

PISTOL  FTLN 0353Young ravens must have food.
FALSTAFF  FTLN 0354Which of you know Ford of this town?
PISTOL  FTLN 035535I ken the wight. He is of substance good.
FALSTAFF  FTLN 0356My honest lads, I will tell you what I am
FTLN 0357 about.
PISTOL  FTLN 0358Two yards and more.
FALSTAFF  FTLN 0359No quips now, Pistol. Indeed, I am in the
FTLN 036040 waist two yards about, but I am now about no
FTLN 0361 waste; I am about thrift. Briefly, I do mean to make
FTLN 0362 love to Ford’s wife. I spy entertainment in her. She
FTLN 0363 discourses; she carves; she gives the leer of invitation.
FTLN 0364 I can construe the action of her familiar style;
FTLN 036545 and the hardest voice of her behavior, to be Englished
FTLN 0366 rightly, is “I am Sir John Falstaff’s.”
PISTOL , editorial emendationaside to Nymeditorial emendation  FTLN 0367He hath studied her will and
FTLN 0368 translated her will—out of honesty into English.
NYM , editorial emendationaside to Pistoleditorial emendation  FTLN 0369The anchor is deep. Will that
FTLN 037050 humor pass?
FALSTAFF  FTLN 0371Now, the report goes, she has all the rule of
FTLN 0372 her husband’s purse. He hath a editorial emendationlegioneditorial emendation of angels.
PISTOL , editorial emendationaside to Nymeditorial emendation  FTLN 0373As many devils entertain, and
FTLN 0374 “To her, boy,” say I.
NYM , editorial emendationaside to Pistoleditorial emendation  FTLN 037555The humor rises; it is good.
FTLN 0376 Humor me the angels.
FALSTAFF , editorial emendationshowing two paperseditorial emendation  FTLN 0377I have writ me here a
FTLN 0378 letter to her; and here another to Page’s wife, who
FTLN 0379 even now gave me good eyes too, examined my
FTLN 038060 parts with most judicious editorial emendationoeillades.editorial emendation Sometimes
FTLN 0381 the beam of her view gilded my foot, sometimes
FTLN 0382 my portly belly.
PISTOL , editorial emendationaside to Nymeditorial emendation  FTLN 0383Then did the sun on dunghill
FTLN 0384 shine.
NYM , editorial emendationaside to Pistoleditorial emendation  FTLN 038565I thank thee for that humor.
FALSTAFF  FTLN 0386O, she did so course o’er my exteriors with
FTLN 0387 such a greedy intention that the appetite of her
FTLN 0388 eye did seem to scorch me up like a burning-glass.

31
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 1. SC. 3

FTLN 0389 Here’s another letter to her. She bears the purse
FTLN 039070 too; she is a region in Guiana, all gold and bounty.
FTLN 0391 I will be cheaters to them both, and they shall be
FTLN 0392 exchequers to me; they shall be my East and West
FTLN 0393 Indies, and I will trade to them both. Go bear thou
FTLN 0394 this letter to Mistress Page—and thou this to Mistress
FTLN 039575 Ford. We will thrive, lads, we will thrive.
PISTOL 
FTLN 0396 Shall I Sir Pandarus of Troy become,
FTLN 0397 And by my side wear steel? Then Lucifer take all!
NYM , editorial emendationto Falstaffeditorial emendation  FTLN 0398I will run no base humor. Here, take
FTLN 0399 the humor-letter. I will keep the havior of
FTLN 040080 reputation.
FALSTAFF , editorial emendationgiving papers to Robineditorial emendation 
FTLN 0401 Hold, sirrah, bear you these letters tightly;
FTLN 0402 Sail like my pinnace to these golden shores.—
FTLN 0403 Rogues, hence, avaunt, vanish like hailstones, go,
FTLN 0404 Trudge, plod away i’ th’ hoof, seek shelter, pack!
FTLN 040585 Falstaff will learn the editorial emendationhumoreditorial emendation of the age:
FTLN 0406 French thrift, you rogues—myself and skirted page.
editorial emendationFalstaff and Robin exit.editorial emendation
PISTOL 
FTLN 0407 Let vultures gripe thy guts! For gourd and fullam
FTLN 0408 holds,
FTLN 0409 And high and low beguiles the rich and poor.
FTLN 041090 Tester I’ll have in pouch when thou shalt lack,
FTLN 0411 Base Phrygian Turk!
NYM  FTLN 0412I have operations which be humors of revenge.
PISTOL  FTLN 0413Wilt thou revenge?
NYM  FTLN 0414By welkin and her star!
PISTOL  FTLN 041595With wit or steel?
NYM  FTLN 0416With both the humors, I. I will discuss the
FTLN 0417 humor of this love to Ford.
PISTOL 
FTLN 0418 And I to Page shall eke unfold
FTLN 0419  How Falstaff, varlet vile,

33
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 1. SC. 4

FTLN 0420100 His dove will prove, his gold will hold,
FTLN 0421  And his soft couch defile.
NYM  FTLN 0422My humor shall not cool. I will incense Ford to
FTLN 0423 deal with poison. I will possess him with yellowness,
FTLN 0424 for the revolt of mine is dangerous. That is
FTLN 0425105 my true humor.
PISTOL  FTLN 0426Thou art the Mars of malcontents. I second
FTLN 0427 thee. Troop on.
They exit.


Scene 4
Enter Mistress Quickly editorial emendationandeditorial emendation Simple.

MISTRESS QUICKLY  FTLN 0428What, John Rugby!  (Enter John
 Rugby.) 
FTLN 0429I pray thee, go to the casement and see if
FTLN 0430 you can see my master, Master Doctor Caius, coming.
FTLN 0431 If he do, i’ faith, and find anybody in the
FTLN 04325 house, here will be an old abusing of God’s patience
FTLN 0433 and the King’s English.
RUGBY  FTLN 0434I’ll go watch.
MISTRESS QUICKLY  FTLN 0435Go, and we’ll have a posset for ’t
FTLN 0436 soon at night, in faith, at the latter end of a seacoal
FTLN 043710 fire.  editorial emendation(Rugby exits.)editorial emendation An honest, willing, kind fellow
FTLN 0438 as ever servant shall come in house withal; and, I
FTLN 0439 warrant you, no telltale nor no breed-bate. His
FTLN 0440 worst fault is that he is given to prayer. He is something
FTLN 0441 peevish that way, but nobody but has his
FTLN 044215 fault. But let that pass. Peter Simple you say your
FTLN 0443 name is?
SIMPLE  FTLN 0444Ay, for fault of a better.
MISTRESS QUICKLY  FTLN 0445And Master Slender’s your master?
SIMPLE  FTLN 0446Ay, forsooth.
MISTRESS QUICKLY  FTLN 044720Does he not wear a great round
FTLN 0448 beard like a glover’s paring knife?
SIMPLE  FTLN 0449No, forsooth. He hath but a little wee face,
FTLN 0450 with a little yellow beard, a Cain-colored beard.

35
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 1. SC. 4

MISTRESS QUICKLY  FTLN 0451A softly-sprited man, is he not?
SIMPLE  FTLN 045225Ay, forsooth. But he is as tall a man of his
FTLN 0453 hands as any is between this and his head. He hath
FTLN 0454 fought with a warrener.
MISTRESS QUICKLY  FTLN 0455How say you? O, I should remember
FTLN 0456 him. Does he not hold up his head, as it were,
FTLN 045730 and strut in his gait?
SIMPLE  FTLN 0458Yes, indeed, does he.
MISTRESS QUICKLY  FTLN 0459Well, heaven send Anne Page no
FTLN 0460 worse fortune! Tell Master Parson Evans I will do
FTLN 0461 what I can for your master. Anne is a good girl, and
FTLN 046235 I wish—

editorial emendationEnter Rugby.editorial emendation

RUGBY  FTLN 0463Out, alas! Here comes my master.
MISTRESS QUICKLY  FTLN 0464We shall all be shent.—Run in here,
FTLN 0465 good young man. Go into this closet. He will not
FTLN 0466 stay long.  editorial emendation(Simple exits.)editorial emendation What, John Rugby!
FTLN 046740 John! What, John, I say! Go, John, go enquire for
FTLN 0468 my master. I doubt he be not well, that he comes
FTLN 0469 not home. editorial emendationRugby exits.editorial emendation
FTLN 0470  editorial emendation(She sings.)editorial emendation And down, down, adown ’a, etc.

Enter Doctor Caius.

DOCTOR CAIUS  FTLN 0471Vat is you sing? I do not like dese toys.
FTLN 047245 Pray you, go and vetch me in my closet un boîtier
FTLN 0473 vert
, a box, a green-a box. Do intend vat I speak?
FTLN 0474 A green-a box.
MISTRESS QUICKLY  FTLN 0475Ay, forsooth. I’ll fetch it you.
FTLN 0476  editorial emendation(Aside.)editorial emendation I am glad he went not in himself. If he
FTLN 047750 had found the young man, he would have been
FTLN 0478 horn-mad. editorial emendationShe exits.editorial emendation
DOCTOR CAIUS  FTLN 0479Fe, fe, fe, fe! Ma foi, il fait fort chaud. Je
FTLN 0480 m’en vais à la cour—la grande affaire.


editorial emendationEnter Mistress Quickly with a small box.editorial emendation

MISTRESS QUICKLY  FTLN 0481Is it this, sir?
DOCTOR CAIUS  FTLN 048255Oui, mets-le à mon pocket. Dépêche,
FTLN 0483 quickly. Vere is dat knave Rugby?

37
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 1. SC. 4

MISTRESS QUICKLY  FTLN 0484What, John Rugby, John!

editorial emendationEnter Rugby.editorial emendation

RUGBY  FTLN 0485Here, sir.
DOCTOR CAIUS  FTLN 0486You are John Rugby, and you are Jack
FTLN 048760 Rugby. Come, take-a your rapier, and come after
FTLN 0488 my heel to the court.
RUGBY  FTLN 0489’Tis ready, sir, here in the porch.
DOCTOR CAIUS  FTLN 0490By my trot, I tarry too long. Od’s
FTLN 0491 me! Qu’ai-j’oublié? Dere is some simples in my
FTLN 049265 closet dat I vill not for the varld I shall leave
FTLN 0493 behind. editorial emendationHe exits.editorial emendation
MISTRESS QUICKLY  FTLN 0494Ay me! He’ll find the young man
FTLN 0495 there, and be mad!

editorial emendationEnter Doctor Caius.editorial emendation

DOCTOR CAIUS  FTLN 0496O diable, diable! Vat is in my closet? Villainy!
FTLN 049770 Larron!  editorial emendation(Pulling out Simple.)editorial emendation Rugby, my
FTLN 0498 rapier!
MISTRESS QUICKLY  FTLN 0499Good master, be content.
DOCTOR CAIUS  FTLN 0500Wherefore shall I be content-a?
MISTRESS QUICKLY  FTLN 0501The young man is an honest man.
DOCTOR CAIUS  FTLN 050275What shall de honest man do in my
FTLN 0503 closet? Dere is no honest man dat shall come in
FTLN 0504 my closet.
MISTRESS QUICKLY  FTLN 0505I beseech you, be not so phlegmatic.
FTLN 0506 Hear the truth of it. He came of an errand to me
FTLN 050780 from Parson Hugh.
DOCTOR CAIUS  FTLN 0508Vell?
SIMPLE  FTLN 0509Ay, forsooth. To desire her to—
MISTRESS QUICKLY  FTLN 0510Peace, I pray you.
DOCTOR CAIUS  FTLN 0511Peace-a your tongue.—Speak-a your
FTLN 051285 tale.
SIMPLE  FTLN 0513To desire this honest gentlewoman, your
FTLN 0514 maid, to speak a good word to Mistress Anne Page
FTLN 0515 for my master in the way of marriage.

39
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 1. SC. 4

MISTRESS QUICKLY  FTLN 0516This is all, indeed, la! But I’ll ne’er
FTLN 051790 put my finger in the fire, and need not.
DOCTOR CAIUS , editorial emendationto Simpleeditorial emendation  FTLN 0518Sir Hugh send-a you?—
FTLN 0519 Rugby, baille me some paper.—Tarry you a little-a
FTLN 0520 while.

editorial emendationRugby brings paper, and Doctor Caius writes.editorial emendation

MISTRESS QUICKLY , editorial emendationaside to Simpleeditorial emendation  FTLN 0521I am glad he is so
FTLN 052295 quiet. If he had been throughly moved, you should
FTLN 0523 have heard him so loud and so melancholy. But
FTLN 0524 notwithstanding, man, I’ll do you your master
FTLN 0525 what good I can. And the very yea and the no is,
FTLN 0526 the French doctor, my master—I may call him my
FTLN 0527100 master, look you, for I keep his house, and I wash,
FTLN 0528 wring, brew, bake, scour, dress meat and drink,
FTLN 0529 make the beds, and do all myself—
SIMPLE , editorial emendationaside to Quicklyeditorial emendation  FTLN 0530’Tis a great charge to come
FTLN 0531 under one body’s hand.
MISTRESS QUICKLY , editorial emendationaside to Simpleeditorial emendation  FTLN 0532105Are you advised o’
FTLN 0533 that? You shall find it a great charge. And to be up
FTLN 0534 early and down late. But notwithstanding—to tell
FTLN 0535 you in your ear; I would have no words of it—my
FTLN 0536 master himself is in love with Mistress Anne Page.
FTLN 0537110 But notwithstanding that, I know Anne’s mind.
FTLN 0538 That’s neither here nor there.
DOCTOR CAIUS , editorial emendationhanding paper to Simpleeditorial emendation  FTLN 0539You, jack’nape,
FTLN 0540 give-a this letter to Sir Hugh. By gar, it is a
FTLN 0541 shallenge. I will cut his troat in de park, and I will
FTLN 0542115 teach a scurvy jackanape priest to meddle or
FTLN 0543 make. You may be gone. It is not good you tarry
FTLN 0544 here.—By gar, I will cut all his two stones. By gar,
FTLN 0545 he shall not have a stone to throw at his dog.
editorial emendationSimple exits.editorial emendation
MISTRESS QUICKLY  FTLN 0546Alas, he speaks but for his friend.
DOCTOR CAIUS  FTLN 0547120It is no matter-a ver dat. Do not you tell-a
FTLN 0548 me dat I shall have Anne Page for myself? By gar, I
FTLN 0549 vill kill de jack priest; and I have appointed mine

41
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 1. SC. 4

FTLN 0550 Host of de Jarteer to measure our weapon. By gar,
FTLN 0551 I will myself have Anne Page.
MISTRESS QUICKLY  FTLN 0552125Sir, the maid loves you, and all shall
FTLN 0553 be well. We must give folks leave to prate. What
FTLN 0554 the goodyear!
DOCTOR CAIUS  FTLN 0555Rugby, come to the court with me.  editorial emendation(To
 Mistress Quickly.)editorial emendation 
FTLN 0556By gar, if I have not Anne Page,
FTLN 0557130 I shall turn your head out of my door.—Follow my
FTLN 0558 heels, Rugby.
MISTRESS QUICKLY  FTLN 0559You shall have Anne—
editorial emendationCaius and Rugby exit.editorial emendation
FTLN 0560 fool’s head of your own. No, I know Anne’s mind
FTLN 0561 for that. Never a woman in Windsor knows more
FTLN 0562135 of Anne’s mind than I do, nor can do more than I
FTLN 0563 do with her, I thank heaven.
FENTON , editorial emendationwithineditorial emendation  FTLN 0564Who’s within there, ho?
MISTRESS QUICKLY  FTLN 0565Who’s there, I trow? Come near the
FTLN 0566 house, I pray you.

Enter Fenton.

FENTON  FTLN 0567140How now, good woman? How dost thou?
MISTRESS QUICKLY  FTLN 0568The better that it pleases your good
FTLN 0569 Worship to ask.
FENTON  FTLN 0570What news? How does pretty Mistress Anne?
MISTRESS QUICKLY  FTLN 0571In truth, sir, and she is pretty, and
FTLN 0572145 honest, and gentle; and one that is your friend, I
FTLN 0573 can tell you that by the way, I praise heaven for it.
FENTON  FTLN 0574Shall I do any good, think’st thou? Shall I not
FTLN 0575 lose my suit?
MISTRESS QUICKLY  FTLN 0576Troth, sir, all is in His hands above.
FTLN 0577150 But notwithstanding, Master Fenton, I’ll be sworn
FTLN 0578 on a book she loves you. Have not your Worship a
FTLN 0579 wart above your eye?
FENTON  FTLN 0580Yes, marry, have I. What of that?
MISTRESS QUICKLY  FTLN 0581Well, thereby hangs a tale. Good
FTLN 0582155 faith, it is such another Nan! But, I detest, an honest

43
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 1. SC. 4

FTLN 0583 maid as ever broke bread. We had an hour’s
FTLN 0584 talk of that wart. I shall never laugh but in that
FTLN 0585 maid’s company. But, indeed, she is given too
FTLN 0586 much to allicholy and musing. But, for you,—well,
FTLN 0587160 go to.
FENTON  FTLN 0588Well, I shall see her today. Hold, there’s
FTLN 0589 money for thee.  editorial emendation(He hands her money.)editorial emendation Let me
FTLN 0590 have thy voice in my behalf. If thou see’st her before
FTLN 0591 me, commend me.
MISTRESS QUICKLY  FTLN 0592165Will I? I’ faith, that we will. And I
FTLN 0593 will tell your Worship more of the wart the next
FTLN 0594 time we have confidence, and of other wooers.
FENTON  FTLN 0595Well, farewell. I am in great haste now.
MISTRESS QUICKLY  FTLN 0596Farewell to your Worship.
editorial emendation(Fenton exits.)editorial emendation
FTLN 0597170 Truly an honest gentleman—but Anne loves him
FTLN 0598 not, for I know Anne’s mind as well as another
FTLN 0599 does. Out upon ’t! What have I forgot?
She exits.




ACT 2
Scene 1
Enter Mistress Page editorial emendationreading a letter.editorial emendation

MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 0600What, have editorial emendationIeditorial emendation ’scaped love letters in
FTLN 0601 the holiday time of my beauty, and am I now a
FTLN 0602 subject for them? Let me see.
editorial emendationShe reads.editorial emendation
FTLN 0603 Ask me no reason why I love you, for though Love
FTLN 06045 use Reason for his precisian, he admits him not for
FTLN 0605 his counselor. You are not young; no more am I. Go
FTLN 0606 to, then, there’s sympathy. You are merry; so am I.
FTLN 0607 Ha, ha, then, there’s more sympathy. You love sack,
FTLN 0608 and so do I. Would you desire better sympathy? Let
FTLN 060910 it suffice thee, Mistress Page—at the least, if the love
FTLN 0610 of soldier can suffice—that I love thee. I will not say
FTLN 0611 pity me—’tis not a soldier-like phrase—but I say love
FTLN 0612 me. By me,
FTLN 0613 Thine own true knight,
FTLN 061415 By day or night,
FTLN 0615 Or any kind of light,
FTLN 0616 With all his might
FTLN 0617 For thee to fight,

FTLN 0618 John Falstaff.

FTLN 061920 What a Herod of Jewry is this! O wicked, wicked
FTLN 0620 world! One that is well-nigh worn to pieces with
FTLN 0621 age, to show himself a young gallant! What an
FTLN 0622 unweighed behavior hath this Flemish drunkard
47

49
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 2. SC. 1

FTLN 0623 picked—with the devil’s name!—out of my conversation,
FTLN 062425 that he dares in this manner assay me?
FTLN 0625 Why, he hath not been thrice in my company!
FTLN 0626 What should I say to him? I was then frugal of my
FTLN 0627 mirth. Heaven forgive me! Why, I’ll exhibit a bill
FTLN 0628 in the Parliament for the putting down of men.
FTLN 062930 How shall I be revenged on him? For revenged I
FTLN 0630 will be, as sure as his guts are made of puddings.

Enter Mistress Ford.

MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 0631Mistress Page! Trust me, I was going to
FTLN 0632 your house.
MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 0633And, trust me, I was coming to you.
FTLN 063435 You look very ill.
MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 0635Nay, I’ll ne’er believe that. I have to
FTLN 0636 show to the contrary.
MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 0637Faith, but you do, in my mind.
MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 0638Well, I do, then. Yet I say I could show
FTLN 063940 you to the contrary. O Mistress Page, give me some
FTLN 0640 counsel.
MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 0641What’s the matter, woman?
MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 0642O woman, if it were not for one trifling
FTLN 0643 respect, I could come to such honor!
MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 064445Hang the trifle, woman; take the honor.
FTLN 0645 What is it? Dispense with trifles. What is it?
MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 0646If I would but go to hell for an eternal
FTLN 0647 moment or so, I could be knighted.
MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 0648What, thou liest! Sir Alice Ford? These
FTLN 064950 knights will hack, and so thou shouldst not alter
FTLN 0650 the article of thy gentry.
MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 0651We burn daylight. Here, read, read. Perceive
FTLN 0652 how I might be knighted.  editorial emendation(She gives a paper
 to Mistress Page, who reads it.)editorial emendation 
FTLN 0653I shall think the
FTLN 065455 worse of fat men as long as I have an eye to make
FTLN 0655 difference of men’s liking. And yet he would not
FTLN 0656 swear; editorial emendationpraisededitorial emendation women’s modesty; and gave such

51
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 2. SC. 1

FTLN 0657 orderly and well-behaved reproof to all uncomeliness
FTLN 0658 that I would have sworn his disposition
FTLN 065960 would have gone to the truth of his words. But
FTLN 0660 they do no more adhere and keep place together
FTLN 0661 than the editorial emendationHundredth Psalmeditorial emendation to the tune of
FTLN 0662 Greensleeves. What tempest, I trow, threw this
FTLN 0663 whale, with so many tuns of oil in his belly, ashore
FTLN 066465 at Windsor? How shall I be revenged on him? I
FTLN 0665 think the best way were to entertain him with hope
FTLN 0666 till the wicked fire of lust have melted him in his
FTLN 0667 own grease. Did you ever hear the like?
MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 0668Letter for letter, but that the name of
FTLN 066970 Page and Ford differs! To thy great comfort in this
FTLN 0670 mystery of ill opinions, here’s the twin brother of
FTLN 0671 thy letter.  editorial emendation(She gives a paper to Mistress Ford, who
 reads it.)editorial emendation 
FTLN 0672But let thine inherit first, for I protest
FTLN 0673 mine never shall. I warrant he hath a thousand of
FTLN 067475 these letters writ with blank space for different
FTLN 0675 names—sure, more—and these are of the second
FTLN 0676 edition. He will print them, out of doubt; for he
FTLN 0677 cares not what he puts into the press, when he
FTLN 0678 would put us two. I had rather be a giantess and lie
FTLN 067980 under Mount Pelion. Well, I will find you twenty
FTLN 0680 lascivious turtles ere one chaste man.
MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 0681Why, this is the very same—the very
FTLN 0682 hand, the very words. What doth he think of us?
MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 0683Nay, I know not. It makes me almost
FTLN 068485 ready to wrangle with mine own honesty. I’ll entertain
FTLN 0685 myself like one that I am not acquainted
FTLN 0686 withal; for, sure, unless he know some strain in
FTLN 0687 me that I know not myself, he would never have
FTLN 0688 boarded me in this fury.
MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 068990“Boarding” call you it? I’ll be sure to
FTLN 0690 keep him above deck.
MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 0691So will I. If he come under my hatches,
FTLN 0692 I’ll never to sea again. Let’s be revenged on him.
FTLN 0693 Let’s appoint him a meeting, give him a show of

53
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 2. SC. 1

FTLN 069495 comfort in his suit, and lead him on with a fine-baited
FTLN 0695 delay till he hath pawned his horses to mine
FTLN 0696 Host of the Garter.
MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 0697Nay, I will consent to act any villainy
FTLN 0698 against him that may not sully the chariness of our
FTLN 0699100 honesty. O, that my husband saw this letter! It
FTLN 0700 would give eternal food to his jealousy.
MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 0701Why, look where he comes, and my
FTLN 0702 good man too. He’s as far from jealousy as I am
FTLN 0703 from giving him cause, and that, I hope, is an
FTLN 0704105 unmeasurable distance.
MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 0705You are the happier woman.
MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 0706Let’s consult together against this greasy
FTLN 0707 knight. Come hither. editorial emendationThey talk aside.editorial emendation

Enter Ford editorial emendationwitheditorial emendation Pistol, and Page editorial emendationwitheditorial emendation Nym.

FORD  FTLN 0708Well, I hope it be not so.
PISTOL 
FTLN 0709110 Hope is a curtal dog in some affairs.
FTLN 0710 Sir John affects thy wife.
FORD  FTLN 0711Why, sir, my wife is not young.
PISTOL 
FTLN 0712 He woos both high and low, both rich and poor,
FTLN 0713 Both young and old, one with another, Ford.
FTLN 0714115 He loves the gallimaufry. Ford, perpend.
FORD  FTLN 0715Love my wife?
PISTOL 
FTLN 0716 With liver burning hot. Prevent,
FTLN 0717 Or go thou like Sir Acteon, he,
FTLN 0718 With Ringwood at thy heels.
FTLN 0719120 O, odious is the name!
FORD  FTLN 0720What name, sir?
PISTOL  FTLN 0721The horn, I say. Farewell.
FTLN 0722 Take heed, have open eye, for thieves do foot by
FTLN 0723 night.
FTLN 0724125 Take heed, ere summer comes or cuckoo birds do
FTLN 0725 sing.—

55
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 2. SC. 1

FTLN 0726 Away, Sir Corporal Nym.—Believe it, Page. He
FTLN 0727 speaks sense. editorial emendationHe exits.editorial emendation
FORD , editorial emendationasideeditorial emendation  FTLN 0728I will be patient. I will find out this.
NYM , editorial emendationto Pageeditorial emendation  FTLN 0729130And this is true. I like not the humor of
FTLN 0730 lying. He hath wronged me in some humors. I
FTLN 0731 should have borne the humored letter to her; but I
FTLN 0732 have a sword, and it shall bite upon my necessity.
FTLN 0733 He loves your wife; there’s the short and the long.
FTLN 0734135 My name is Corporal Nym. I speak and I avouch.
FTLN 0735 ’Tis true. My name is Nym, and Falstaff loves your
FTLN 0736 wife. Adieu. I love not the humor of bread and
FTLN 0737 cheese. Adieu. editorial emendationHe exits.editorial emendation
PAGE , editorial emendationasideeditorial emendation  FTLN 0738“The humor of it,” quoth he? Here’s a fellow
FTLN 0739140 frights English out of his wits.
FORD , editorial emendationasideeditorial emendation  FTLN 0740I will seek out Falstaff.
PAGE , editorial emendationasideeditorial emendation  FTLN 0741I never heard such a drawling, affecting
FTLN 0742 rogue.
FORD , editorial emendationasideeditorial emendation  FTLN 0743If I do find it—well.
PAGE , editorial emendationasideeditorial emendation  FTLN 0744145I will not believe such a Cataian, though
FTLN 0745 the priest o’ th’ town commended him for a true
FTLN 0746 man.
FORD , editorial emendationasideeditorial emendation  FTLN 0747’Twas a good sensible fellow—well.

editorial emendationMistress Page and Mistress Ford come forward.editorial emendation

PAGE , editorial emendationto Mistress Pageeditorial emendation  FTLN 0748How now, Meg?
MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 0749150Whither go you, George? Hark you.
editorial emendationThey talk aside.editorial emendation
MISTRESS FORD , editorial emendationto Fordeditorial emendation  FTLN 0750How now, sweet Frank? Why
FTLN 0751 art thou melancholy?
FORD  FTLN 0752I melancholy? I am not melancholy. Get you
FTLN 0753 home. Go.
MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 0754155Faith, thou hast some crochets in thy
FTLN 0755 head now.—Will you go, Mistress Page?
MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 0756Have with you.—You’ll come to dinner,
FTLN 0757 George?  editorial emendation(Aside to Mistress Ford.)editorial emendation Look who
FTLN 0758 comes yonder.

57
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 2. SC. 1

Enter editorial emendationMistresseditorial emendation Quickly.

FTLN 0759160 She shall be our messenger to this paltry knight.
MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 0760Trust me, I thought on her. She’ll fit it.
MISTRESS PAGE , editorial emendationto Mistress Quicklyeditorial emendation  FTLN 0761You are come to
FTLN 0762 see my daughter Anne?
MISTRESS QUICKLY  FTLN 0763Ay, forsooth. And, I pray, how does
FTLN 0764165 good Mistress Anne?
MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 0765Go in with us and see. We have an
FTLN 0766 hour’s talk with you.
editorial emendationMistress Page, Mistress Ford, and
Mistress Quickly exit.editorial emendation

PAGE  FTLN 0767How now, Master Ford?
FORD  FTLN 0768You heard what this knave told me, did you not?
PAGE  FTLN 0769170Yes, and you heard what the other told me?
FORD  FTLN 0770Do you think there is truth in them?
PAGE  FTLN 0771Hang ’em, slaves! I do not think the knight
FTLN 0772 would offer it. But these that accuse him in his intent
FTLN 0773 towards our wives are a yoke of his discarded
FTLN 0774175 men, very rogues, now they be out of service.
FORD  FTLN 0775Were they his men?
PAGE  FTLN 0776Marry, were they.
FORD  FTLN 0777I like it never the better for that. Does he lie at
FTLN 0778 the Garter?
PAGE  FTLN 0779180Ay, marry, does he. If he should intend this voyage
FTLN 0780 toward my wife, I would turn her loose to him;
FTLN 0781 and what he gets more of her than sharp words, let
FTLN 0782 it lie on my head.
FORD  FTLN 0783I do not misdoubt my wife, but I would be loath
FTLN 0784185 to turn them together. A man may be too confident.
FTLN 0785 I would have nothing lie on my head. I cannot
FTLN 0786 be thus satisfied.

Enter Host.

PAGE  FTLN 0787Look where my ranting Host of the Garter
FTLN 0788 comes. There is either liquor in his pate or money
FTLN 0789190 in his purse when he looks so merrily.—How now,
FTLN 0790 mine Host?

59
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 2. SC. 1

HOST  FTLN 0791How now, bullyrook? Thou ’rt a gentleman.—
FTLN 0792 Cavaleiro Justice, I say!

Enter Shallow.

SHALLOW  FTLN 0793I follow, mine Host, I follow.—Good even
FTLN 0794195 and twenty, good Master Page. Master Page, will
FTLN 0795 you go with us? We have sport in hand.
HOST  FTLN 0796Tell him, Cavaleiro Justice; tell him, bullyrook.
SHALLOW  FTLN 0797Sir, there is a fray to be fought between
FTLN 0798 Sir Hugh the Welsh priest and Caius the French
FTLN 0799200 doctor.
FORD  FTLN 0800Good mine Host o’ th’ Garter, a word with you.
HOST  FTLN 0801What say’st thou, my bullyrook?
editorial emendationThe Host and Ford talk aside.editorial emendation
SHALLOW , editorial emendationto Pageeditorial emendation  FTLN 0802Will you go with us to behold it?
FTLN 0803 My merry Host hath had the measuring of their
FTLN 0804205 weapons and, I think, hath appointed them contrary
FTLN 0805 places; for, believe me, I hear the parson is no
FTLN 0806 jester. Hark, I will tell you what our sport shall be.
editorial emendationShallow and Page talk aside.editorial emendation
HOST , editorial emendationto Fordeditorial emendation  FTLN 0807Hast thou no suit against my knight,
FTLN 0808 my guest cavalier?
editorial emendationFORDeditorial emendation  FTLN 0809210None, I protest. But I’ll give you a pottle of
FTLN 0810 burnt sack to give me recourse to him, and tell him
FTLN 0811 my name is editorial emendationBrookeditorial emendation—only for a jest.
HOST  FTLN 0812My hand, bully. Thou shalt have egress and
FTLN 0813 regress—said I well?—and thy name shall be
FTLN 0814215 editorial emendationBrook.editorial emendation It is a merry knight.  editorial emendation(To Shallow and
 Page.)editorial emendation 
FTLN 0815Will you go, editorial emendationameers?editorial emendation
SHALLOW  FTLN 0816Have with you, mine Host.
PAGE  FTLN 0817I have heard the Frenchman hath good skill
FTLN 0818 in his rapier.
SHALLOW  FTLN 0819220Tut, sir, I could have told you more. In these
FTLN 0820 times you stand on distance—your passes, stoccados,
FTLN 0821 and I know not what. ’Tis the heart, Master
FTLN 0822 Page; ’tis here, ’tis here. I have seen the time, with
FTLN 0823 my long sword I would have made you four tall
FTLN 0824225 fellows skip like rats.

61
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 2. SC. 2

HOST  FTLN 0825Here, boys, here, here! Shall we wag?
PAGE  FTLN 0826Have with you. I had rather hear them scold
FTLN 0827 than fight. editorial emendationPage, Host, and Shallow exit.editorial emendation
FORD  FTLN 0828Though Page be a secure fool and stands so
FTLN 0829230 firmly on his wife’s frailty, yet I cannot put off my
FTLN 0830 opinion so easily. She was in his company at Page’s
FTLN 0831 house, and what they made there I know not. Well,
FTLN 0832 I will look further into ’t, and I have a disguise to
FTLN 0833 sound Falstaff. If I find her honest, I lose not my
FTLN 0834235 labor. If she be otherwise, ’tis labor well bestowed.
editorial emendationHeeditorial emendation exits.


Scene 2
Enter editorial emendationSir Johneditorial emendation Falstaff editorial emendationandeditorial emendation Pistol.

FALSTAFF  FTLN 0835I will not lend thee a penny.
PISTOL  FTLN 0836Why then, the world’s mine oyster, which I
FTLN 0837 with sword will open.
FALSTAFF  FTLN 0838Not a penny. I have been content, sir, you
FTLN 08395 should lay my countenance to pawn. I have grated
FTLN 0840 upon my good friends for three reprieves for you
FTLN 0841 and your coach-fellow Nym, or else you had
FTLN 0842 looked through the grate like a gemini of baboons.
FTLN 0843 I am damned in hell for swearing to gentlemen my
FTLN 084410 friends you were good soldiers and tall fellows.
FTLN 0845 And when Mistress Bridget lost the handle of her
FTLN 0846 fan, I took ’t upon mine honor thou hadst it not.
PISTOL  FTLN 0847Didst not thou share? Hadst thou not fifteen
FTLN 0848 pence?
FALSTAFF  FTLN 084915Reason, you rogue, reason. Think’st thou I’ll
FTLN 0850 endanger my soul gratis? At a word, hang no more
FTLN 0851 about me. I am no gibbet for you. Go—a short
FTLN 0852 knife and a throng—to your manor of Pickt-hatch,
FTLN 0853 go. You’ll not bear a letter for me, you rogue? You
FTLN 085420 stand upon your honor? Why, thou unconfinable

63
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 2. SC. 2

FTLN 0855 baseness, it is as much as I can do to keep the
FTLN 0856 terms of my honor precise. Ay, ay, I myself sometimes,
FTLN 0857 leaving the fear of editorial emendationGodeditorial emendation on the left hand
FTLN 0858 and hiding mine honor in my necessity, am fain to
FTLN 085925 shuffle, to hedge, and to lurch; and yet you, rogue,
FTLN 0860 will ensconce your rags, your cat-a-mountain
FTLN 0861 looks, your red-lattice phrases, and your bold beating
FTLN 0862 oaths under the shelter of your honor! You will
FTLN 0863 not do it? You?
PISTOL  FTLN 086430I do relent. What would thou more of man?

Enter Robin.

ROBIN  FTLN 0865Sir, here’s a woman would speak with you.
FALSTAFF  FTLN 0866Let her approach.

Enter editorial emendationMistresseditorial emendation Quickly.

MISTRESS QUICKLY  FTLN 0867Give your Worship good morrow.
FALSTAFF  FTLN 0868Good morrow, goodwife.
MISTRESS QUICKLY  FTLN 086935Not so, an ’t please your Worship.
FALSTAFF  FTLN 0870Good maid, then.
MISTRESS QUICKLY  FTLN 0871I’ll be sworn—as my mother was,
FTLN 0872 the first hour I was born.
FALSTAFF  FTLN 0873I do believe the swearer. What with me?
MISTRESS QUICKLY  FTLN 087440Shall I vouchsafe your Worship a
FTLN 0875 word or two?
FALSTAFF  FTLN 0876Two thousand, fair woman, and I’ll vouchsafe
FTLN 0877 thee the hearing.
MISTRESS QUICKLY  FTLN 0878There is one Mistress Ford, sir—I
FTLN 087945 pray, come a little nearer this ways. I myself dwell
FTLN 0880 with Master Doctor Caius.
FALSTAFF  FTLN 0881Well, on. “Mistress Ford,” you say—
MISTRESS QUICKLY  FTLN 0882Your Worship says very true. I pray
FTLN 0883 your Worship, come a little nearer this ways.
FALSTAFF  FTLN 088450I warrant thee, nobody hears. Mine own
FTLN 0885 people, mine own people.
MISTRESS QUICKLY  FTLN 0886Are they so? editorial emendationGodeditorial emendation bless them and
FTLN 0887 make them His servants!

65
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 2. SC. 2

FALSTAFF  FTLN 0888Well, “Mistress Ford”—what of her?
MISTRESS QUICKLY  FTLN 088955Why, sir, she’s a good creature.
FTLN 0890 Lord, Lord, your Worship’s a wanton! Well, heaven
FTLN 0891 forgive you and all of us, I pray!
FALSTAFF  FTLN 0892“Mistress Ford”—come, “Mistress Ford”—
MISTRESS QUICKLY  FTLN 0893Marry, this is the short and the long
FTLN 089460 of it: you have brought her into such a canaries as
FTLN 0895 ’tis wonderful. The best courtier of them all, when
FTLN 0896 the court lay at Windsor, could never have brought
FTLN 0897 her to such a canary. Yet there has been knights,
FTLN 0898 and lords, and gentlemen, with their coaches, I
FTLN 089965 warrant you, coach after coach, letter after letter,
FTLN 0900 gift after gift, smelling so sweetly—all musk—and
FTLN 0901 so rushling, I warrant you, in silk and gold, and in
FTLN 0902 such alligant terms, and in such wine and sugar of
FTLN 0903 the best and the fairest, that would have won any
FTLN 090470 woman’s heart; and, I warrant you, they could
FTLN 0905 never get an eye-wink of her. I had myself twenty
FTLN 0906 angels given me this morning, but I defy all angels
FTLN 0907 in any such sort, as they say, but in the way of
FTLN 0908 honesty. And, I warrant you, they could never get
FTLN 090975 her so much as sip on a cup with the proudest of
FTLN 0910 them all. And yet there has been earls—nay, which
FTLN 0911 is more, pensioners—but, I warrant you, all is one
FTLN 0912 with her.
FALSTAFF  FTLN 0913But what says she to me? Be brief, my good
FTLN 091480 she-Mercury.
MISTRESS QUICKLY  FTLN 0915Marry, she hath received your letter,
FTLN 0916 for the which she thanks you a thousand times,
FTLN 0917 and she gives you to notify that her husband will
FTLN 0918 be absence from his house between ten and eleven.
FALSTAFF  FTLN 091985Ten and eleven?
MISTRESS QUICKLY  FTLN 0920Ay, forsooth; and then you may come
FTLN 0921 and see the picture, she says, that you wot of. Master
FTLN 0922 Ford, her husband, will be from home. Alas, the
FTLN 0923 sweet woman leads an ill life with him. He’s a very

67
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 2. SC. 2

FTLN 092490 jealousy man. She leads a very frampold life with
FTLN 0925 him, good heart.
FALSTAFF  FTLN 0926Ten and eleven. Woman, commend me to
FTLN 0927 her. I will not fail her.
MISTRESS QUICKLY  FTLN 0928Why, you say well. But I have another
FTLN 092995 messenger to your Worship. Mistress Page
FTLN 0930 hath her hearty commendations to you too; and,
FTLN 0931 let me tell you in your ear, she’s as fartuous a civil
FTLN 0932 modest wife, and one, I tell you, that will not miss
FTLN 0933 you morning nor evening prayer, as any is in Windsor,
FTLN 0934100 whoe’er be the other. And she bade me tell
FTLN 0935 your Worship that her husband is seldom from
FTLN 0936 home, but she hopes there will come a time. I
FTLN 0937 never knew a woman so dote upon a man. Surely, I
FTLN 0938 think you have charms, la! Yes, in truth.
FALSTAFF  FTLN 0939105Not I, I assure thee. Setting the attraction of
FTLN 0940 my good parts aside, I have no other charms.
MISTRESS QUICKLY  FTLN 0941Blessing on your heart for ’t!
FALSTAFF  FTLN 0942But I pray thee, tell me this: has Ford’s wife
FTLN 0943 and Page’s wife acquainted each other how they
FTLN 0944110 love me?
MISTRESS QUICKLY  FTLN 0945That were a jest indeed! They have
FTLN 0946 not so little grace, I hope. That were a trick indeed!
FTLN 0947 But Mistress Page would desire you to send her
FTLN 0948 your little page, of all loves. Her husband has a
FTLN 0949115 marvelous infection to the little page; and, truly,
FTLN 0950 Master Page is an honest man. Never a wife in
FTLN 0951 Windsor leads a better life than she does. Do what
FTLN 0952 she will, say what she will, take all, pay all, go to
FTLN 0953 bed when she list, rise when she list—all is as she
FTLN 0954120 will. And, truly, she deserves it, for if there be a
FTLN 0955 kind woman in Windsor, she is one. You must send
FTLN 0956 her your page, no remedy.
FALSTAFF  FTLN 0957Why, I will.
MISTRESS QUICKLY  FTLN 0958Nay, but do so then, and, look you,
FTLN 0959125 he may come and go between you both. And in any

69
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 2. SC. 2

FTLN 0960 case have a nayword, that you may know one another’s
FTLN 0961 mind, and the boy never need to understand
FTLN 0962 anything; for ’tis not good that children
FTLN 0963 should know any wickedness. Old folks, you know,
FTLN 0964130 have discretion, as they say, and know the world.
FALSTAFF  FTLN 0965Fare thee well. Commend me to them both.
FTLN 0966 There’s my purse.  editorial emendation(He gives her money.)editorial emendation I am yet
FTLN 0967 thy debtor.—Boy, go along with this woman.  editorial emendation(Mistress
 Quickly and Robin exit.)editorial emendation 
FTLN 0968This news distracts
FTLN 0969135 me.
PISTOL , editorial emendationasideeditorial emendation 
FTLN 0970 This punk is one of Cupid’s carriers.
FTLN 0971 Clap on more sails, pursue; up with your fights;
FTLN 0972 Give fire! She is my prize, or ocean whelm them all!
editorial emendationHe exits.editorial emendation
FALSTAFF  FTLN 0973Sayst thou so, old Jack? Go thy ways. I’ll
FTLN 0974140 make more of thy old body than I have done. Will
FTLN 0975 they yet look after thee? Wilt thou, after the expense
FTLN 0976 of so much money, be now a gainer? Good
FTLN 0977 body, I thank thee. Let them say ’tis grossly done;
FTLN 0978 so it be fairly done, no matter.

editorial emendationEnter Bardolph with wine.editorial emendation

BARDOLPH  FTLN 0979145Sir John, there’s one Master editorial emendationBrookeditorial emendation below
FTLN 0980 would fain speak with you and be acquainted with
FTLN 0981 you, and hath sent your Worship a morning’s
FTLN 0982 draught of sack. editorial emendation(He hands Falstaff the wine.)editorial emendation
FALSTAFF  FTLN 0983editorial emendationBrookeditorial emendation is his name?
BARDOLPH  FTLN 0984150Ay, sir.
FALSTAFF  FTLN 0985Call him in. Such editorial emendationBrookseditorial emendation are welcome to
FTLN 0986 me that o’erflows such liquor. editorial emendation(Bardolph exits.)editorial emendation
FTLN 0987 Ah ha, Mistress Ford and Mistress Page, have I encompassed
FTLN 0988 you? Go to. Via!

Enter editorial emendationBardolph witheditorial emendation Ford editorial emendationdisguised as Brook.editorial emendation

FORD , editorial emendationas Brookeditorial emendation  FTLN 0989155editorial emendationGodeditorial emendation bless you, sir.
FALSTAFF  FTLN 0990And you, sir. Would you speak with me?

71
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 2. SC. 2

FORD , editorial emendationas Brookeditorial emendation  FTLN 0991I make bold to press with so little
FTLN 0992 preparation upon you.
FALSTAFF  FTLN 0993You’re welcome. What’s your will?—Give us
FTLN 0994160 leave, drawer. editorial emendationBardolph exits.editorial emendation
FORD , editorial emendationas Brookeditorial emendation  FTLN 0995Sir, I am a gentleman that have spent
FTLN 0996 much. My name is editorial emendationBrook.editorial emendation
FALSTAFF  FTLN 0997Good Master editorial emendationBrook,editorial emendation I desire more acquaintance
FTLN 0998 of you.
FORD , editorial emendationas Brookeditorial emendation  FTLN 0999165Good Sir John, I sue for yours—not
FTLN 1000 to charge you, for I must let you understand I
FTLN 1001 think myself in better plight for a lender than you
FTLN 1002 are, the which hath something emboldened me to
FTLN 1003 this unseasoned intrusion; for they say, if money
FTLN 1004170 go before, all ways do lie open.
FALSTAFF  FTLN 1005Money is a good soldier, sir, and will on.
FORD , editorial emendationas Brookeditorial emendation  FTLN 1006Troth, and I have a bag of money
FTLN 1007 here troubles me.  editorial emendationHe sets it down.editorial emendation If you will help
FTLN 1008 to bear it, Sir John, take all, or half, for easing me
FTLN 1009175 of the carriage.
FALSTAFF  FTLN 1010Sir, I know not how I may deserve to be your
FTLN 1011 porter.
FORD , editorial emendationas Brookeditorial emendation  FTLN 1012I will tell you, sir, if you will give me
FTLN 1013 the hearing.
FALSTAFF  FTLN 1014180Speak, good Master editorial emendationBrook.editorial emendation I shall be glad
FTLN 1015 to be your servant.
FORD , editorial emendationas Brookeditorial emendation  FTLN 1016Sir, I hear you are a scholar—I will
FTLN 1017 be brief with you—and you have been a man long
FTLN 1018 known to me, though I had never so good means
FTLN 1019185 as desire to make myself acquainted with you. I
FTLN 1020 shall discover a thing to you wherein I must very
FTLN 1021 much lay open mine own imperfection. But, good
FTLN 1022 Sir John, as you have one eye upon my follies, as
FTLN 1023 you hear them unfolded, turn another into the register
FTLN 1024190 of your own, that I may pass with a reproof
FTLN 1025 the easier, sith you yourself know how easy it is to
FTLN 1026 be such an offender.

73
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 2. SC. 2

FALSTAFF  FTLN 1027Very well, sir. Proceed.
FORD , editorial emendationas Brookeditorial emendation  FTLN 1028There is a gentlewoman in this
FTLN 1029195 town—her husband’s name is Ford.
FALSTAFF  FTLN 1030Well, sir.
FORD , editorial emendationas Brookeditorial emendation  FTLN 1031I have long loved her and, I protest
FTLN 1032 to you, bestowed much on her, followed her with
FTLN 1033 a doting observance, engrossed opportunities to
FTLN 1034200 meet her, fee’d every slight occasion that could but
FTLN 1035 niggardly give me sight of her, not only bought
FTLN 1036 many presents to give her, but have given largely to
FTLN 1037 many to know what she would have given. Briefly,
FTLN 1038 I have pursued her as love hath pursued me, which
FTLN 1039205 hath been on the wing of all occasions. But whatsoever
FTLN 1040 I have merited, either in my mind or in my
FTLN 1041 means, meed I am sure I have received none, unless
FTLN 1042 experience be a jewel. That I have purchased
FTLN 1043 at an infinite rate, and that hath taught me to say
FTLN 1044210 this:
FTLN 1045 “Love like a shadow flies when substance love
FTLN 1046 pursues,
FTLN 1047 Pursuing that that flies, and flying what pursues.”
FALSTAFF  FTLN 1048Have you received no promise of satisfaction
FTLN 1049215 at her hands?
FORD , editorial emendationas Brookeditorial emendation  FTLN 1050Never.
FALSTAFF  FTLN 1051Have you importuned her to such a
FTLN 1052 purpose?
FORD , editorial emendationas Brookeditorial emendation  FTLN 1053Never.
FALSTAFF  FTLN 1054220Of what quality was your love, then?
FORD , editorial emendationas Brookeditorial emendation  FTLN 1055Like a fair house built on another
FTLN 1056 man’s ground, so that I have lost my edifice by
FTLN 1057 mistaking the place where I erected it.
FALSTAFF  FTLN 1058To what purpose have you unfolded this to
FTLN 1059225 me?
FORD , editorial emendationas Brookeditorial emendation  FTLN 1060When I have told you that, I have
FTLN 1061 told you all. Some say that though she appear honest
FTLN 1062 to me, yet in other places she enlargeth her
FTLN 1063 mirth so far that there is shrewd construction

75
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 2. SC. 2

FTLN 1064230 made of her. Now, Sir John, here is the heart of my
FTLN 1065 purpose: you are a gentleman of excellent breeding,
FTLN 1066 admirable discourse, of great admittance,
FTLN 1067 authentic in your place and person, generally
FTLN 1068 allowed for your many warlike, courtlike, and
FTLN 1069235 learned preparations.
FALSTAFF  FTLN 1070O, sir!
FORD , editorial emendationas Brookeditorial emendation  FTLN 1071Believe it, for you know it. There is
FTLN 1072 money.  editorial emendation(He points to the bag.)editorial emendation Spend it, spend
FTLN 1073 it, spend more; spend all I have. Only give me so
FTLN 1074240 much of your time in exchange of it as to lay an
FTLN 1075 amiable siege to the honesty of this Ford’s wife.
FTLN 1076 Use your art of wooing; win her to consent to you.
FTLN 1077 If any man may, you may as soon as any.
FALSTAFF  FTLN 1078Would it apply well to the vehemency of
FTLN 1079245 your affection that I should win what you would
FTLN 1080 enjoy? Methinks you prescribe to yourself very
FTLN 1081 preposterously.
FORD , editorial emendationas Brookeditorial emendation  FTLN 1082O, understand my drift. She dwells
FTLN 1083 so securely on the excellency of her honor that the
FTLN 1084250 folly of my soul dares not present itself; she is too
FTLN 1085 bright to be looked against. Now, could I come to
FTLN 1086 her with any detection in my hand, my desires had
FTLN 1087 instance and argument to commend themselves. I
FTLN 1088 could drive her then from the ward of her purity,
FTLN 1089255 her reputation, her marriage vow, and a thousand
FTLN 1090 other her defenses, which now are too too strongly
FTLN 1091 embattled against me. What say you to ’t, Sir
FTLN 1092 John?
FALSTAFF , editorial emendationtaking the bageditorial emendation  FTLN 1093Master editorial emendationBrook,editorial emendation I will first
FTLN 1094260 make bold with your money; next, give me your
FTLN 1095 hand; and, last, as I am a gentleman, you shall, if
FTLN 1096 you will, enjoy Ford’s wife.
FORD , editorial emendationas Brookeditorial emendation  FTLN 1097O, good sir!
FALSTAFF  FTLN 1098I say you shall.
FORD , editorial emendationas Brookeditorial emendation  FTLN 1099265Want no money, Sir John; you shall
FTLN 1100 want none.

77
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 2. SC. 2

FALSTAFF  FTLN 1101Want no Mistress Ford, Master editorial emendationBrook;editorial emendation you
FTLN 1102 shall want none. I shall be with her, I may tell you,
FTLN 1103 by her own appointment. Even as you came in to
FTLN 1104270 me, her assistant or go-between parted from me. I
FTLN 1105 say I shall be with her between ten and eleven, for
FTLN 1106 at that time the jealous, rascally knave her husband
FTLN 1107 will be forth. Come you to me at night. You
FTLN 1108 shall know how I speed.
FORD , editorial emendationas Brookeditorial emendation  FTLN 1109275I am blessed in your acquaintance.
FTLN 1110 Do you know Ford, sir?
FALSTAFF  FTLN 1111Hang him, poor cuckoldly knave! I know
FTLN 1112 him not. Yet I wrong him to call him poor. They
FTLN 1113 say the jealous wittolly knave hath masses of
FTLN 1114280 money, for the which his wife seems to me well-favored.
FTLN 1115 I will use her as the key of the cuckoldly
FTLN 1116 rogue’s coffer, and there’s my harvest home.
FORD , editorial emendationas Brookeditorial emendation  FTLN 1117I would you knew Ford, sir, that you
FTLN 1118 might avoid him if you saw him.
FALSTAFF  FTLN 1119285Hang him, mechanical salt-butter rogue! I
FTLN 1120 will stare him out of his wits. I will awe him with
FTLN 1121 my cudgel; it shall hang like a meteor o’er the
FTLN 1122 cuckold’s horns. Master editorial emendationBrook,editorial emendation thou shalt know I
FTLN 1123 will predominate over the peasant, and thou shalt
FTLN 1124290 lie with his wife. Come to me soon at night. Ford’s
FTLN 1125 a knave, and I will aggravate his style. Thou, Master
FTLN 1126 editorial emendationBrook,editorial emendation shalt know him for knave and cuckold.
FTLN 1127 Come to me soon at night. editorial emendationFalstaff exits.editorial emendation
FORD  FTLN 1128What a damned epicurean rascal is this! My
FTLN 1129295 heart is ready to crack with impatience. Who says
FTLN 1130 this is improvident jealousy? My wife hath sent
FTLN 1131 to him, the hour is fixed, the match is made.
FTLN 1132 Would any man have thought this? See the hell of
FTLN 1133 having a false woman: my bed shall be abused, my
FTLN 1134300 coffers ransacked, my reputation gnawn at. And
FTLN 1135 I shall not only receive this villainous wrong but
FTLN 1136 stand under the adoption of abominable terms,

79
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 2. SC. 3

FTLN 1137 and by him that does me this wrong. Terms,
FTLN 1138 names! “Amaimon” sounds well, “Lucifer” well,
FTLN 1139305 “Barbason” well; yet they are devils’ additions, the
FTLN 1140 names of fiends. But “Cuckold,” “Wittoll,” “Cuckold”!
FTLN 1141 The devil himself hath not such a name. Page
FTLN 1142 is an ass, a secure ass. He will trust his wife, he will
FTLN 1143 not be jealous. I will rather trust a Fleming with
FTLN 1144310 my butter, Parson Hugh the Welshman with my
FTLN 1145 cheese, an Irishman with my aquavitae bottle, or
FTLN 1146 a thief to walk my ambling gelding, than my wife
FTLN 1147 with herself. Then she plots, then she ruminates,
FTLN 1148 then she devises; and what they think in their
FTLN 1149315 hearts they may effect, they will break their hearts
FTLN 1150 but they will effect. editorial emendationGodeditorial emendation be praised for my jealousy!
FTLN 1151 Eleven o’clock the hour. I will prevent this,
FTLN 1152 detect my wife, be revenged on Falstaff, and laugh
FTLN 1153 at Page. I will about it. Better three hours too soon
FTLN 1154320 than a minute too late. Fie, fie, fie! Cuckold, cuckold,
FTLN 1155 cuckold!
He exits.


Scene 3
Enter editorial emendationDoctoreditorial emendation Caius editorial emendationandeditorial emendation Rugby.

DOCTOR CAIUS  FTLN 1156Jack Rugby.
RUGBY  FTLN 1157Sir?
DOCTOR CAIUS  FTLN 1158Vat is the clock, Jack?
RUGBY  FTLN 1159’Tis past the hour, sir, that Sir Hugh promised
FTLN 11605 to meet.
DOCTOR CAIUS  FTLN 1161By gar, he has save his soul dat he is no
FTLN 1162 come. He has pray his Pible well dat he is no come.
FTLN 1163 By gar, Jack Rugby, he is dead already if he be
FTLN 1164 come.
RUGBY  FTLN 116510He is wise, sir. He knew your Worship would
FTLN 1166 kill him if he came.

81
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 2. SC. 3

DOCTOR CAIUS  FTLN 1167By gar, de herring is no dead so as I vill
FTLN 1168 kill him. Take your rapier, Jack. I vill tell you how I
FTLN 1169 vill kill him.
RUGBY  FTLN 117015Alas, sir, I cannot fence.
DOCTOR CAIUS  FTLN 1171Villainy, take your rapier.
RUGBY  FTLN 1172Forbear. Here’s company.

Enter Page, Shallow, Slender, editorial emendationandeditorial emendation Host.

HOST  FTLN 1173editorial emendationGodeditorial emendation bless thee, bully doctor!
SHALLOW  FTLN 1174editorial emendationGodeditorial emendation save you, Master Doctor Caius!
PAGE  FTLN 117520Now, good Master Doctor!
SLENDER  FTLN 1176Give you good morrow, sir.
DOCTOR CAIUS  FTLN 1177Vat be all you, one, two, tree, four, come
FTLN 1178 for?
HOST  FTLN 1179To see thee fight, to see thee foin, to see thee traverse;
FTLN 118025 to see thee here, to see thee there; to see
FTLN 1181 editorial emendationthyeditorial emendation pass, thy puncto, thy stock, thy reverse, thy
FTLN 1182 distance, thy montant. Is he dead, my Ethiopian?
FTLN 1183 Is he dead, my Francisco? Ha, bully? What says
FTLN 1184 my Aesculapius, my Galien, my heart of elder, ha?
FTLN 118530 Is he dead, bully stale? Is he dead?
DOCTOR CAIUS  FTLN 1186By gar, he is de coward jack-priest of de
FTLN 1187 vorld. He is not show his face.
HOST  FTLN 1188Thou art a Castalion King Urinal Hector of
FTLN 1189 Greece, my boy!
DOCTOR CAIUS  FTLN 119035I pray you, bear witness that me have
FTLN 1191 stay six or seven, two, tree hours for him, and he is
FTLN 1192 no come.
SHALLOW  FTLN 1193He is the wiser man, Master Doctor. He is a
FTLN 1194 curer of souls, and you a curer of bodies. If you
FTLN 119540 should fight, you go against the hair of your professions.—
FTLN 1196 Is it not true, Master Page?
PAGE  FTLN 1197Master Shallow, you have yourself been a great
FTLN 1198 fighter, though now a man of peace.
SHALLOW  FTLN 1199Bodykins, Master Page, though I now be old
FTLN 120045 and of the peace, if I see a sword out, my finger

83
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 2. SC. 3

FTLN 1201 itches to make one. Though we are justices and
FTLN 1202 doctors and churchmen, Master Page, we have
FTLN 1203 some salt of our youth in us. We are the sons of
FTLN 1204 women, Master Page.
PAGE  FTLN 120550’Tis true, Master Shallow.
SHALLOW  FTLN 1206It will be found so, Master Page.—Master
FTLN 1207 Doctor Caius, I am come to fetch you home. I am
FTLN 1208 sworn of the peace. You have showed yourself a
FTLN 1209 wise physician, and Sir Hugh hath shown himself
FTLN 121055 a wise and patient churchman. You must go with
FTLN 1211 me, Master Doctor.
HOST  FTLN 1212Pardon, guest Justice.  editorial emendation(To Caius.)editorial emendation A editorial emendationword,editorial emendation
FTLN 1213 Monsieur Mockwater.
DOCTOR CAIUS  FTLN 1214“Mockvater”? Vat is dat?
HOST  FTLN 121560“Mockwater,” in our English tongue, is “valor,”
FTLN 1216 bully.
DOCTOR CAIUS  FTLN 1217By gar, then I have as much mockvater
FTLN 1218 as de Englishman. Scurvy jack-dog priest! By gar,
FTLN 1219 me vill cut his ears.
HOST  FTLN 122065He will clapper-claw thee tightly, bully.
DOCTOR CAIUS  FTLN 1221“Clapper-de-claw”? Vat is dat?
HOST  FTLN 1222That is, he will make thee amends.
DOCTOR CAIUS  FTLN 1223By gar, me do look he shall clapper-de-claw
FTLN 1224 me, for, by gar, me vill have it.
HOST  FTLN 122570And I will provoke him to ’t, or let him wag.
DOCTOR CAIUS  FTLN 1226Me tank you for dat.
HOST  FTLN 1227And moreover, bully— editorial emendation(He draws Shallow, Page,
 and Slender aside.)editorial emendation 
FTLN 1228But first, Master guest, and
FTLN 1229 Master Page, and eke Cavaleiro Slender, go you
FTLN 123075 through the town to Frogmore.
PAGE  FTLN 1231Sir Hugh is there, is he?
HOST  FTLN 1232He is there. See what humor he is in; and I will
FTLN 1233 bring the doctor about by the fields. Will it do
FTLN 1234 well?
SHALLOW  FTLN 123580We will do it.
PAGE, SHALLOW, and SLENDER  FTLN 1236Adieu, good Master
FTLN 1237 Doctor. editorial emendationPage, Shallow, and Slender exit.editorial emendation

85
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 2. SC. 3

DOCTOR CAIUS  FTLN 1238By gar, me vill kill de priest, for he speak
FTLN 1239 for a jackanape to Anne Page.
HOST  FTLN 124085Let him die. Sheathe thy impatience; throw cold
FTLN 1241 water on thy choler. Go about the fields with me
FTLN 1242 through Frogmore. I will bring thee where Mistress
FTLN 1243 Anne Page is, at a farmhouse a-feasting, and
FTLN 1244 thou shalt woo her. Cried game! Said I well?
DOCTOR CAIUS  FTLN 124590By gar, me dank you vor dat. By gar, I
FTLN 1246 love you, and I shall procure-a you de good guest:
FTLN 1247 de earl, de knight, de lords, de gentlemen, my
FTLN 1248 patients.
HOST  FTLN 1249For the which I will be thy adversary toward
FTLN 125095 Anne Page. Said I well?
DOCTOR CAIUS  FTLN 1251By gar, ’tis good. Vell said.
HOST  FTLN 1252Let us wag, then.
DOCTOR CAIUS  FTLN 1253Come at my heels, Jack Rugby.
They exit.




ACT 3
Scene 1
Enter editorial emendationSir Hugheditorial emendation Evans editorial emendation(with a book and a sword)
andeditorial emendation Simple editorial emendation(carrying Sir Hugh’s gown).editorial emendation


SIR HUGH  FTLN 1254I pray you now, good Master Slender’s servingman
FTLN 1255 and friend Simple by your name, which
FTLN 1256 way have you looked for Master Caius, that calls
FTLN 1257 himself doctor of physic?
SIMPLE  FTLN 12585Marry, sir, the editorial emendationPetty-ward,editorial emendation the Park-ward,
FTLN 1259 every way; Old Windsor way, and every way but
FTLN 1260 the town way.
SIR HUGH  FTLN 1261I most fehemently desire you, you will also
FTLN 1262 look that way.
SIMPLE  FTLN 126310I will, sir. editorial emendationHe exits.editorial emendation
SIR HUGH  FTLN 1264Pless my soul, how full of cholers I am, and
FTLN 1265 trempling of mind! I shall be glad if he have deceived
FTLN 1266 me. How melancholies I am! I will knog his
FTLN 1267 urinals about his knave’s costard when I have good
FTLN 126815 opportunities for the ’ork. Pless my soul!
editorial emendation(Sings.)editorial emendation
FTLN 1269 To shallow rivers, to whose falls
FTLN 1270 Melodious birds sings madrigals.
FTLN 1271 There will we make our peds of roses
FTLN 1272 And a thousand fragrant posies.
FTLN 127320 To shallow—

FTLN 1274 Mercy on me, I have a great dispositions to cry.
89

91
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 3. SC. 1

editorial emendation(Sings.)editorial emendation
FTLN 1275 Melodious birds sing madrigals—
FTLN 1276 Whenas I sat in Pabylon—
FTLN 1277 And a thousand vagram posies.
FTLN 127825 To shallow rivers, to whose falls
FTLN 1279 Melodious birds sings madrigals.


editorial emendationEnter Simple.editorial emendation

SIMPLE  FTLN 1280Yonder he is, coming this way, Sir Hugh.
SIR HUGH  FTLN 1281He’s welcome.
editorial emendation(Sings.)editorial emendation
FTLN 1282 To shallow rivers, to whose falls—
FTLN 128330 Heaven prosper the right! What weapons is he?
SIMPLE  FTLN 1284No weapons, sir. There comes my master,
FTLN 1285 Master Shallow, and another gentleman, from
FTLN 1286 Frogmore, over the stile, this way.
SIR HUGH  FTLN 1287Pray you, give me my gown—or else keep it
FTLN 128835 in your arms.

Enter Page, Shallow, editorial emendationandeditorial emendation Slender.

SHALLOW  FTLN 1289How now, Master Parson? Good morrow,
FTLN 1290 good Sir Hugh. Keep a gamester from the dice,
FTLN 1291 and a good student from his book, and it is
FTLN 1292 wonderful.
SLENDER , editorial emendationasideeditorial emendation  FTLN 129340Ah, sweet Anne Page!
PAGE  FTLN 1294editorial emendationGodeditorial emendation save you, good Sir Hugh!
SIR HUGH  FTLN 1295editorial emendationGodeditorial emendation pless you from His mercy sake, all of
FTLN 1296 you!
SHALLOW  FTLN 1297What, the sword and the word? Do you
FTLN 129845 study them both, Master Parson?
PAGE  FTLN 1299And youthful still—in your doublet and hose
FTLN 1300 this raw rheumatic day?
SIR HUGH  FTLN 1301There is reasons and causes for it.
PAGE  FTLN 1302We are come to you to do a good office, Master
FTLN 130350 Parson.
SIR HUGH  FTLN 1304Fery well. What is it?

93
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 3. SC. 1

PAGE  FTLN 1305Yonder is a most reverend gentleman who, belike
FTLN 1306 having received wrong by some person, is at
FTLN 1307 most odds with his own gravity and patience that
FTLN 130855 ever you saw.
SHALLOW  FTLN 1309I have lived fourscore years and upward. I
FTLN 1310 never heard a man of his place, gravity, and learning
FTLN 1311 so wide of his own respect.
SIR HUGH  FTLN 1312What is he?
PAGE  FTLN 131360I think you know him: Master Doctor Caius, the
FTLN 1314 renowned French physician.
SIR HUGH  FTLN 1315Got’s will and His passion of my heart! I had
FTLN 1316 as lief you would tell me of a mess of porridge.
PAGE  FTLN 1317Why?
SIR HUGH  FTLN 131865He has no more knowledge in Hibbocrates
FTLN 1319 and Galen—and he is a knave besides, a cowardly
FTLN 1320 knave as you would desires to be acquainted
FTLN 1321 withal.
PAGE , editorial emendationto Shalloweditorial emendation  FTLN 1322I warrant you, he’s the man should
FTLN 132370 fight with him.
SLENDER , editorial emendationasideeditorial emendation  FTLN 1324O, sweet Anne Page!
SHALLOW  FTLN 1325It appears so by his weapons. Keep them
FTLN 1326 asunder. Here comes Doctor Caius.

Enter Host, editorial emendationDoctoreditorial emendation Caius, editorial emendationandeditorial emendation Rugby.
editorial emendationCaius and Sir Hugh offer to fight.editorial emendation


PAGE  FTLN 1327Nay, good Master Parson, keep in your weapon.
SHALLOW  FTLN 132875So do you, good Master Doctor.
HOST  FTLN 1329Disarm them, and let them question. Let them
FTLN 1330 keep their limbs whole and hack our English.
editorial emendationPage and Shallow disarm Caius and Sir Hugh.editorial emendation
DOCTOR CAIUS , editorial emendationto Sir Hugheditorial emendation  FTLN 1331I pray you, let-a me speak
FTLN 1332 a word with your ear. Verefore vill you not
FTLN 133380 meet-a me?
SIR HUGH , editorial emendationaside to Caiuseditorial emendation  FTLN 1334Pray you, use your patience.
FTLN 1335  editorial emendation(Aloud.)editorial emendation In good time.
DOCTOR CAIUS  FTLN 1336By gar, you are de coward, de Jack dog,
FTLN 1337 John ape.

95
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 3. SC. 1

SIR HUGH , editorial emendationaside to Caiuseditorial emendation  FTLN 133885Pray you, let us not be
FTLN 1339 laughing-stocks to other men’s humors. I desire
FTLN 1340 you in friendship, and I will one way or other
FTLN 1341 make you amends.  editorial emendation(Aloud.) By Jeshu,editorial emendation I will knog
FTLN 1342 your urinal about your knave’s cogscomb.
DOCTOR CAIUS  FTLN 134390Diable! Jack Rugby, mine Host de Jarteer,
FTLN 1344 have I not stay for him to kill him? Have I not,
FTLN 1345 at de place I did appoint?
SIR HUGH  FTLN 1346As I am a Christians soul, now look you, this
FTLN 1347 is the place appointed. I’ll be judgment by mine
FTLN 134895 Host of the Garter.
HOST  FTLN 1349Peace, I say, Gallia and Gaul, French and Welsh,
FTLN 1350 soul-curer and body-curer!
DOCTOR CAIUS  FTLN 1351Ay, dat is very good, excellent.
HOST  FTLN 1352Peace, I say! Hear mine Host of the Garter. Am
FTLN 1353100 I politic? Am I subtle? Am I a Machiavel? Shall I
FTLN 1354 lose my doctor? No, he gives me the potions and
FTLN 1355 the motions. Shall I lose my parson, my priest, my
FTLN 1356 Sir Hugh? No, he gives me the proverbs and the
FTLN 1357 no-verbs.  editorial emendation(To Caius.) Give me thy hand, terrestrial;
FTLN 1358105 so.  (To Sir Hugh.)editorial emendation Give me thy hand, celestial;
FTLN 1359 so. Boys of art, I have deceived you both. I
FTLN 1360 have directed you to wrong places. Your hearts are
FTLN 1361 mighty, your skins are whole, and let burnt sack be
FTLN 1362 the issue.  editorial emendation(To Page and Shallow.)editorial emendation Come, lay their
FTLN 1363110 swords to pawn.  editorial emendation(To Caius and Sir Hugh.)editorial emendation Follow
FTLN 1364 me, editorial emendationladseditorial emendation of peace, follow, follow, follow.
editorial emendationHost exits.editorial emendation
SHALLOW  FTLN 1365editorial emendationAfore God,editorial emendation a mad Host. Follow, gentlemen,
FTLN 1366 follow.
SLENDER , editorial emendationasideeditorial emendation  FTLN 1367O, sweet Anne Page!
editorial emendationShallow, Page, and Slender exit.editorial emendation
DOCTOR CAIUS  FTLN 1368115Ha, do I perceive dat? Have you make-a
FTLN 1369 de sot of us, ha, ha?
SIR HUGH  FTLN 1370This is well! He has made us his vloutingstog.
FTLN 1371 I desire you that we may be friends, and let

97
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 3. SC. 2

FTLN 1372 us knog our prains together to be revenge on this
FTLN 1373120 same scall, scurvy, cogging companion, the Host of
FTLN 1374 the Garter.
DOCTOR CAIUS  FTLN 1375By gar, with all my heart. He promise
FTLN 1376 to bring me where is Anne Page. By gar, he deceive
FTLN 1377 me too.
SIR HUGH  FTLN 1378125Well, I will smite his noddles. Pray you,
FTLN 1379 follow.
editorial emendationSir Hugh, Caius, Simple, and Rugby exit.editorial emendation


Scene 2
editorial emendationEntereditorial emendation Robin editorial emendationfollowed byeditorial emendation Mistress Page.

MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 1380Nay, keep your way, little gallant. You
FTLN 1381 were wont to be a follower, but now you are a
FTLN 1382 leader. Whether had you rather—lead mine eyes,
FTLN 1383 or eye your master’s heels?
ROBIN  FTLN 13845I had rather, forsooth, go before you like a man
FTLN 1385 than follow him like a dwarf.
MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 1386O, you are a flattering boy! Now I see
FTLN 1387 you’ll be a courtier.

editorial emendationEntereditorial emendation Ford.

FORD  FTLN 1388Well met, Mistress Page. Whither go you?
MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 138910Truly, sir, to see your wife. Is she at
FTLN 1390 home?
FORD  FTLN 1391Ay, and as idle as she may hang together, for
FTLN 1392 want of company. I think if your husbands were
FTLN 1393 dead, you two would marry.
MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 139415Be sure of that—two other husbands.
FORD  FTLN 1395Where had you this pretty weathercock?
MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 1396I cannot tell what the dickens his name
FTLN 1397 is my husband had him of.—What do you call your
FTLN 1398 knight’s name, sirrah?
ROBIN  FTLN 139920Sir John Falstaff.

99
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 3. SC. 2

FORD  FTLN 1400Sir John Falstaff!
MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 1401He, he. I can never hit on ’s name.
FTLN 1402 There is such a league between my goodman and
FTLN 1403 he. Is your wife at home indeed?
FORD  FTLN 140425Indeed, she is.
MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 1405By your leave, sir. I am sick till I see
FTLN 1406 her. editorial emendationMistress Page and Robin exit.editorial emendation
FORD  FTLN 1407Has Page any brains? Hath he any eyes? Hath
FTLN 1408 he any thinking? Sure they sleep; he hath no use
FTLN 140930 of them. Why, this boy will carry a letter twenty
FTLN 1410 mile as easy as a cannon will shoot point-blank
FTLN 1411 twelve score. He pieces out his wife’s inclination.
FTLN 1412 He gives her folly motion and advantage. And now
FTLN 1413 she’s going to my wife, and Falstaff’s boy with her.
FTLN 141435 A man may hear this shower sing in the wind. And
FTLN 1415 Falstaff’s boy with her! Good plots they are laid,
FTLN 1416 and our revolted wives share damnation together.
FTLN 1417 Well, I will take him, then torture my wife, pluck
FTLN 1418 the borrowed veil of modesty from the so-seeming
FTLN 141940 Mistress Page, divulge Page himself for a secure
FTLN 1420 and willful Acteon, and to these violent proceedings
FTLN 1421 all my neighbors shall cry aim.  editorial emendationA clock
 strikes.editorial emendation 
FTLN 1422The clock gives me my cue, and my assurance
FTLN 1423 bids me search. There I shall find Falstaff. I
FTLN 142445 shall be rather praised for this than mocked, for it
FTLN 1425 is as positive as the earth is firm that Falstaff is
FTLN 1426 there. I will go.

editorial emendationEntereditorial emendation Page, Shallow, Slender, Host, editorial emendationSir Hugheditorial emendation
Evans, editorial emendationDoctoreditorial emendation Caius, editorial emendationand Rugby.editorial emendation


SHALLOW, PAGE, ETC.  FTLN 1427Well met, Master Ford.
FORD  FTLN 1428Trust me, a good knot. I have good cheer at
FTLN 142950 home, and I pray you all go with me.
SHALLOW  FTLN 1430I must excuse myself, Master Ford.
SLENDER  FTLN 1431And so must I, sir. We have appointed to dine
FTLN 1432 with Mistress Anne, and I would not break with
FTLN 1433 her for more money than I’ll speak of.

101
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 3. SC. 2

SHALLOW  FTLN 143455We have lingered about a match between
FTLN 1435 Anne Page and my cousin Slender, and this day we
FTLN 1436 shall have our answer.
SLENDER  FTLN 1437I hope I have your good will, Father Page.
PAGE  FTLN 1438You have, Master Slender. I stand wholly for
FTLN 143960 you.—But my wife, Master Doctor, is for you
FTLN 1440 altogether.
DOCTOR CAIUS  FTLN 1441Ay, be-gar, and de maid is love-a me! My
FTLN 1442 nursh-a Quickly tell me so mush.
HOST , editorial emendationto Pageeditorial emendation  FTLN 1443What say you to young Master Fenton?
FTLN 144465 He capers, he dances, he has eyes of youth, he
FTLN 1445 writes verses, he speaks holiday, he smells April
FTLN 1446 and May. He will carry ’t, he will carry ’t. ’Tis in his
FTLN 1447 buttons he will carry ’t.
PAGE  FTLN 1448Not by my consent, I promise you. The gentleman
FTLN 144970 is of no having. He kept company with the
FTLN 1450 wild Prince and Poins. He is of too high a region;
FTLN 1451 he knows too much. No, he shall not knit a knot in
FTLN 1452 his fortunes with the finger of my substance. If he
FTLN 1453 take her, let him take her simply. The wealth I have
FTLN 145475 waits on my consent, and my consent goes not that
FTLN 1455 way.
FORD  FTLN 1456I beseech you heartily, some of you go home
FTLN 1457 with me to dinner. Besides your cheer, you shall
FTLN 1458 have sport: I will show you a monster. Master Doctor,
FTLN 145980 you shall go.—So shall you, Master Page.—
FTLN 1460 And you, Sir Hugh.
SHALLOW  FTLN 1461Well, fare you well. We shall have the freer
FTLN 1462 wooing at Master Page’s.
editorial emendationShallow and Slender exit.editorial emendation
DOCTOR CAIUS  FTLN 1463Go home, John Rugby. I come anon.
editorial emendationRugby exits.editorial emendation
HOST  FTLN 146485Farewell, my hearts. I will to my honest knight
FTLN 1465 Falstaff, and drink canary with him. editorial emendationHe exits.editorial emendation
FORD , editorial emendationasideeditorial emendation  FTLN 1466I think I shall drink in pipe-wine first
FTLN 1467 with him; I’ll make him dance.—Will you go,
FTLN 1468 gentles?

103
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 3. SC. 3

PAGE, DOCTOR CAIUS, and SIR HUGH  FTLN 146990Have with you to
FTLN 1470 see this monster.
They exit.


Scene 3
Enter Mistress Ford editorial emendationandeditorial emendation Mistress Page.

MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 1471What, John! What, Robert!
MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 1472Quickly, quickly! Is the buck-basket—
MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 1473I warrant.—What, editorial emendationRobert,editorial emendation I say!

editorial emendationEnter John and Robert with a large buck-basket.editorial emendation

MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 1474Come, come, come.
MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 14755Here, set it down.
MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 1476Give your men the charge. We must be
FTLN 1477 brief.
MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 1478Marry, as I told you before, John and
FTLN 1479 Robert, be ready here hard by in the brewhouse,
FTLN 148010 and when I suddenly call you, come forth, and
FTLN 1481 without any pause or staggering take this basket
FTLN 1482 on your shoulders. That done, trudge with it in all
FTLN 1483 haste, and carry it among the whitsters in Datchet
FTLN 1484 Mead, and there empty it in the muddy ditch close
FTLN 148515 by the Thames side.
MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 1486You will do it?
MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 1487I ha’ told them over and over. They lack
FTLN 1488 no direction.—Be gone, and come when you are
FTLN 1489 called. editorial emendationJohn and Robert exit.editorial emendation
MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 149020Here comes little Robin.

Enter Robin.

MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 1491How now, my eyas-musket? What news
FTLN 1492 with you?
ROBIN  FTLN 1493My master, Sir John, is come in at your back
FTLN 1494 door, Mistress Ford, and requests your company.

105
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 3. SC. 3

MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 149525You little Jack-a-Lent, have you been
FTLN 1496 true to us?
ROBIN  FTLN 1497Ay, I’ll be sworn. My master knows not of your
FTLN 1498 being here and hath threatened to put me into
FTLN 1499 everlasting liberty if I tell you of it, for he swears
FTLN 150030 he’ll turn me away.
MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 1501Thou ’rt a good boy. This secrecy of
FTLN 1502 thine shall be a tailor to thee and shall make thee a
FTLN 1503 new doublet and hose.—I’ll go hide me.
MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 1504Do so.—Go tell thy master I am alone.
FTLN 150535  editorial emendation(Robin exits.)editorial emendation Mistress Page, remember you your
FTLN 1506 cue.
MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 1507I warrant thee. If I do not act it, hiss
FTLN 1508 me. editorial emendationShe exits.editorial emendation
MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 1509Go to, then. We’ll use this unwholesome
FTLN 151040 humidity, this gross-wat’ry pumpion. We’ll
FTLN 1511 teach him to know turtles from jays.

Enter editorial emendationSir Johneditorial emendation Falstaff.

FALSTAFF  FTLN 1512“Have I caught thee, my heavenly jewel?”
FTLN 1513 Why, now let me die, for I have lived long enough.
FTLN 1514 This is the period of my ambition. O, this blessèd
FTLN 151545 hour!
MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 1516O, sweet Sir John!
FALSTAFF  FTLN 1517Mistress Ford, I cannot cog. I cannot prate,
FTLN 1518 Mistress Ford. Now shall I sin in my wish: I would
FTLN 1519 thy husband were dead. I’ll speak it before the best
FTLN 152050 lord: I would make thee my lady.
MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 1521I your lady, Sir John? Alas, I should be
FTLN 1522 a pitiful lady.
FALSTAFF  FTLN 1523Let the court of France show me such
FTLN 1524 another. I see how thine eye would emulate the
FTLN 152555 diamond. Thou hast the right arched beauty of the
FTLN 1526 brow that becomes the ship-tire, the tire-valiant,
FTLN 1527 or any tire of Venetian admittance.
MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 1528A plain kerchief, Sir John. My brows
FTLN 1529 become nothing else, nor that well neither.

107
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 3. SC. 3

FALSTAFF  FTLN 153060Thou art a tyrant to say so. Thou wouldst
FTLN 1531 make an absolute courtier, and the firm fixture of
FTLN 1532 thy foot would give an excellent motion to thy gait
FTLN 1533 in a semicircled farthingale. I see what thou wert,
FTLN 1534 if Fortune thy foe were not, Nature thy friend.
FTLN 153565 Come, thou canst not hide it.
MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 1536Believe me, there’s no such thing in
FTLN 1537 me.
FALSTAFF  FTLN 1538What made me love thee? Let that persuade
FTLN 1539 thee. There’s something extraordinary in thee.
FTLN 154070 Come, I cannot cog and say thou art this and that
FTLN 1541 like a many of these lisping hawthorn buds that
FTLN 1542 come like women in men’s apparel and smell like
FTLN 1543 Bucklersbury in simple time. I cannot. But I love
FTLN 1544 thee, none but thee; and thou deserv’st it.
MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 154575Do not betray me, sir. I fear you love
FTLN 1546 Mistress Page.
FALSTAFF  FTLN 1547Thou mightst as well say I love to walk by
FTLN 1548 the Counter gate, which is as hateful to me as the
FTLN 1549 reek of a lime-kiln.
MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 155080Well, heaven knows how I love you,
FTLN 1551 and you shall one day find it.
FALSTAFF  FTLN 1552Keep in that mind. I’ll deserve it.
MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 1553Nay, I must tell you, so you do, or else
FTLN 1554 I could not be in that mind.

editorial emendationEnter Robin.editorial emendation

ROBIN  FTLN 155585Mistress Ford, Mistress Ford! Here’s Mistress
FTLN 1556 Page at the door, sweating and blowing and looking
FTLN 1557 wildly, and would needs speak with you
FTLN 1558 presently.
FALSTAFF  FTLN 1559She shall not see me. I will ensconce me behind
FTLN 156090 the arras.
MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 1561Pray you, do so. She’s a very tattling
FTLN 1562 woman. editorial emendationFalstaff stands behind the arras.editorial emendation

109
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 3. SC. 3

editorial emendationEnter Mistress Page.editorial emendation

FTLN 1563 What’s the matter? How now?
MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 1564O Mistress Ford, what have you done?
FTLN 156595 You’re shamed, you’re overthrown, you’re undone
FTLN 1566 forever!
MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 1567What’s the matter, good Mistress Page?
MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 1568O well-a-day, Mistress Ford, having an
FTLN 1569 honest man to your husband, to give him such
FTLN 1570100 cause of suspicion!
MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 1571What cause of suspicion?
MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 1572What cause of suspicion? Out upon you!
FTLN 1573 How am I mistook in you!
MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 1574Why, alas, what’s the matter?
MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 1575105Your husband’s coming hither, woman,
FTLN 1576 with all the officers in Windsor, to search for a gentleman
FTLN 1577 that he says is here now in the house, by
FTLN 1578 your consent, to take an ill advantage of his absence.
FTLN 1579 You are undone.
MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 1580110’Tis not so, I hope.
MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 1581Pray heaven it be not so, that you have
FTLN 1582 such a man here! But ’tis most certain your husband’s
FTLN 1583 coming, with half Windsor at his heels, to
FTLN 1584 search for such a one. I come before to tell you. If
FTLN 1585115 you know yourself clear, why, I am glad of it. But if
FTLN 1586 you have a friend here, convey, convey him out. Be
FTLN 1587 not amazed! Call all your senses to you; defend
FTLN 1588 your reputation, or bid farewell to your good life
FTLN 1589 forever.
MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 1590120What shall I do? There is a gentleman,
FTLN 1591 my dear friend; and I fear not mine own shame so
FTLN 1592 much as his peril. I had rather than a thousand
FTLN 1593 pound he were out of the house.
MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 1594For shame! Never stand “you had
FTLN 1595125 rather” and “you had rather.” Your husband’s here
FTLN 1596 at hand. Bethink you of some conveyance. In the

111
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 3. SC. 3

FTLN 1597 house you cannot hide him. O, how have you deceived
FTLN 1598 me! Look, here is a basket. If he be of any
FTLN 1599 reasonable stature, he may creep in here; and
FTLN 1600130 throw foul linen upon him, as if it were going to
FTLN 1601 bucking. Or—it is whiting time—send him by your
FTLN 1602 two men to Datchet Mead.
MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 1603He’s too big to go in there. What shall I
FTLN 1604 do? editorial emendationFalstaff comes forward.editorial emendation
FALSTAFF  FTLN 1605135Let me see ’t, let me see ’t! O, let me see ’t! I’ll
FTLN 1606 in, I’ll in. Follow your friend’s counsel. I’ll in.
MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 1607What, Sir John Falstaff?  editorial emendation(Aside to
 him.)editorial emendation 
FTLN 1608Are these your letters, knight?
FALSTAFF , editorial emendationaside to Mistress Pageeditorial emendation  FTLN 1609I love thee. Help me
FTLN 1610140 away. Let me creep in here. I’ll never—

editorial emendationFalstaff goes into the basket; they cover
him with dirty clothes.editorial emendation


MISTRESS PAGE , editorial emendationto Robineditorial emendation  FTLN 1611Help to cover your master,
FTLN 1612 boy.—Call your men, Mistress Ford.—You dissembling
FTLN 1613 knight! editorial emendationRobin exits.editorial emendation
MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 1614What, John! Robert! John!

editorial emendationEnter Robert and John.editorial emendation

FTLN 1615145 Go, take up these clothes here quickly. Where’s the
FTLN 1616 cowlstaff? Look how you drumble! Carry them to
FTLN 1617 the laundress in Datchet Mead. Quickly! Come.

Enter Ford, Page, editorial emendationDoctoreditorial emendation Caius,
editorial emendationand Sir Hugheditorial emendation Evans.


FORD  FTLN 1618Pray you, come near. If I suspect without cause,
FTLN 1619 why then make sport at me. Then let me be your
FTLN 1620150 jest; I deserve it.—How now? Whither bear you
FTLN 1621 this?
editorial emendationROBERT and JOHNeditorial emendation  FTLN 1622To the laundress, forsooth.
MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 1623Why, what have you to do whither they
FTLN 1624 bear it? You were best meddle with buck-washing!

113
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 3. SC. 3

FORD  FTLN 1625155Buck? I would I could wash myself of the buck.
FTLN 1626 Buck, buck, buck! Ay, buck! I warrant you, buck,
FTLN 1627 and of the season too, it shall appear.
editorial emendationRobert and John exit with the buck-basket.editorial emendation
FTLN 1628 Gentlemen, I have dreamed tonight; I’ll tell you my
FTLN 1629 dream. Here, here, here be my keys. Ascend my
FTLN 1630160 chambers. Search, seek, find out. I’ll warrant we’ll
FTLN 1631 unkennel the fox. Let me stop this way first.  editorial emendation(He
 locks the door.)editorial emendation 
FTLN 1632So, now uncape.
PAGE  FTLN 1633Good Master Ford, be contented. You wrong
FTLN 1634 yourself too much.
FORD  FTLN 1635165True, Master Page.—Up, gentlemen. You shall
FTLN 1636 see sport anon. Follow me, gentlemen. editorial emendationHe exits.editorial emendation
SIR HUGH  FTLN 1637This is fery fantastical humors and
FTLN 1638 jealousies.
DOCTOR CAIUS  FTLN 1639By gar, ’tis no the fashion of France. It is
FTLN 1640170 not jealous in France.
PAGE  FTLN 1641Nay, follow him, gentlemen. See the issue of his
FTLN 1642 search. editorial emendationPage, Sir Hugh, and Caius exit.editorial emendation
MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 1643Is there not a double excellency in this?
MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 1644I know not which pleases me better—
FTLN 1645175 that my husband is deceived, or Sir John.
MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 1646What a taking was he in when your
FTLN 1647 husband asked who was in the basket!
MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 1648I am half afraid he will have need of
FTLN 1649 washing, so throwing him into the water will do
FTLN 1650180 him a benefit.
MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 1651Hang him, dishonest rascal! I would all
FTLN 1652 of the same strain were in the same distress.
MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 1653I think my husband hath some special
FTLN 1654 suspicion of Falstaff’s being here, for I never saw
FTLN 1655185 him so gross in his jealousy till now.
MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 1656I will lay a plot to try that, and we will
FTLN 1657 yet have more tricks with Falstaff. His dissolute
FTLN 1658 disease will scarce obey this medicine.
MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 1659Shall we send that foolish carrion Mistress

115
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 3. SC. 3

FTLN 1660190 Quickly to him, and excuse his throwing into
FTLN 1661 the water, and give him another hope, to betray
FTLN 1662 him to another punishment?
MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 1663We will do it. Let him be sent for tomorrow
FTLN 1664 eight o’clock to have amends.

editorial emendationEnter Ford, Page, Doctor Caius, and Sir Hugh.editorial emendation

FORD  FTLN 1665195I cannot find him. Maybe the knave bragged of
FTLN 1666 that he could not compass.
MISTRESS PAGE , editorial emendationaside to Mistress Fordeditorial emendation  FTLN 1667Heard you
FTLN 1668 that?
MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 1669You use me well, Master Ford, do you?
FORD  FTLN 1670200Ay, I do so.
MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 1671Heaven make you better than your
FTLN 1672 thoughts!
FORD  FTLN 1673Amen!
MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 1674You do yourself mighty wrong, Master
FTLN 1675205 Ford.
FORD  FTLN 1676Ay, ay. I must bear it.
SIR HUGH  FTLN 1677If there be anypody in the house, and in the
FTLN 1678 chambers, and in the coffers, and in the presses,
FTLN 1679 heaven forgive my sins at the day of judgment!
DOCTOR CAIUS  FTLN 1680210Be gar, nor I too. There is nobodies.
PAGE  FTLN 1681Fie, fie, Master Ford, are you not ashamed?
FTLN 1682 What spirit, what devil suggests this imagination?
FTLN 1683 I would not ha’ your distemper in this kind for the
FTLN 1684 wealth of Windsor Castle.
FORD  FTLN 1685215’Tis my fault, Master Page. I suffer for it.
SIR HUGH  FTLN 1686You suffer for a pad conscience. Your wife is
FTLN 1687 as honest a ’omans as I will desires among five
FTLN 1688 thousand, and five hundred too.
DOCTOR CAIUS  FTLN 1689By gar, I see ’tis an honest woman.
FORD  FTLN 1690220Well, I promised you a dinner. Come, come,
FTLN 1691 walk in the park. I pray you, pardon me. I will
FTLN 1692 hereafter make known to you why I have done

117
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 3. SC. 4

FTLN 1693 this.—Come, wife—come, Mistress Page, I pray
FTLN 1694 you, pardon me. Pray, heartily, pardon me.
editorial emendationMistress Page and Mistress Ford exit.editorial emendation
PAGE , editorial emendationto Caius and Sir Hugheditorial emendation  FTLN 1695225Let’s go in, gentlemen.
FTLN 1696 But, trust me, we’ll mock him.  editorial emendation(To Ford, Caius,
 and Sir Hugh.)editorial emendation 
FTLN 1697I do invite you tomorrow morning
FTLN 1698 to my house to breakfast. After, we’ll a-birding together;
FTLN 1699 I have a fine hawk for the bush. Shall it be
FTLN 1700230 so?
FORD  FTLN 1701Anything.
SIR HUGH  FTLN 1702If there is one, I shall make two in the
FTLN 1703 company.
DOCTOR CAIUS  FTLN 1704If there be one or two, I shall make-a the
FTLN 1705235 turd.
FORD  FTLN 1706Pray you, go, Master Page.
editorial emendationFord and Page exit.editorial emendation
SIR HUGH  FTLN 1707I pray you now, remembrance tomorrow on
FTLN 1708 the lousy knave mine Host.
DOCTOR CAIUS  FTLN 1709Dat is good, by gar, with all my heart.
SIR HUGH  FTLN 1710240A lousy knave, to have his gibes and his
FTLN 1711 mockeries!
They exit.


Scene 4
Enter Fenton editorial emendationandeditorial emendation Anne Page.

FENTON 
FTLN 1712 I see I cannot get thy father’s love;
FTLN 1713 Therefore no more turn me to him, sweet Nan.
ANNE 
FTLN 1714 Alas, how then?
FENTON  FTLN 1715 Why, thou must be thyself.
FTLN 17165 He doth object I am too great of birth,
FTLN 1717 And that, my state being galled with my expense,
FTLN 1718 I seek to heal it only by his wealth.

119
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 3. SC. 4

FTLN 1719 Besides these, other bars he lays before me—
FTLN 1720 My riots past, my wild societies—
FTLN 172110 And tells me ’tis a thing impossible
FTLN 1722 I should love thee but as a property.
ANNE  FTLN 1723Maybe he tells you true.
editorial emendationFENTONeditorial emendation 
FTLN 1724 No, heaven so speed me in my time to come!
FTLN 1725 Albeit I will confess thy father’s wealth
FTLN 172615 Was the first motive that I wooed thee, Anne,
FTLN 1727 Yet, wooing thee, I found thee of more value
FTLN 1728 Than stamps in gold or sums in sealèd bags.
FTLN 1729 And ’tis the very riches of thyself
FTLN 1730 That now I aim at.
ANNE  FTLN 173120 Gentle Master Fenton,
FTLN 1732 Yet seek my father’s love, still seek it, sir.
FTLN 1733 If opportunity and humblest suit
FTLN 1734 Cannot attain it, why then—hark you hither.
editorial emendationThey talk aside.editorial emendation

Enter Shallow, Slender, editorial emendationand Mistresseditorial emendation Quickly.

SHALLOW  FTLN 1735Break their talk, Mistress Quickly. My kinsman
FTLN 173625 shall speak for himself.
SLENDER  FTLN 1737I’ll make a shaft or a bolt on ’t. ’Slid, ’tis but
FTLN 1738 venturing.
SHALLOW  FTLN 1739Be not dismayed.
SLENDER  FTLN 1740No, she shall not dismay me. I care not for
FTLN 174130 that, but that I am afeard.
MISTRESS QUICKLY , editorial emendationto Anneeditorial emendation  FTLN 1742Hark ye, Master Slender
FTLN 1743 would speak a word with you.
ANNE 
FTLN 1744 I come to him.  editorial emendation(Aside.)editorial emendation This is my father’s choice.
FTLN 1745 O, what a world of vile ill-favored faults
FTLN 174635 Looks handsome in three hundred pounds a year!
MISTRESS QUICKLY  FTLN 1747And how does good Master Fenton?
FTLN 1748 Pray you, a word with you. editorial emendationThey talk aside.editorial emendation
SHALLOW , editorial emendationto Slendereditorial emendation  FTLN 1749She’s coming. To her, coz! O
FTLN 1750 boy, thou hadst a father!

121
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 3. SC. 4

SLENDER  FTLN 175140I had a father, Mistress Anne; my uncle can
FTLN 1752 tell you good jests of him.—Pray you, uncle, tell
FTLN 1753 Mistress Anne the jest how my father stole two
FTLN 1754 geese out of a pen, good uncle.
SHALLOW  FTLN 1755Mistress Anne, my cousin loves you.
SLENDER  FTLN 175645Ay, that I do, as well as I love any woman in
FTLN 1757 Gloucestershire.
SHALLOW  FTLN 1758He will maintain you like a gentlewoman.
SLENDER  FTLN 1759Ay, that I will, come cut and longtail, under
FTLN 1760 the degree of a squire.
SHALLOW  FTLN 176150He will make you a hundred and fifty
FTLN 1762 pounds jointure.
ANNE  FTLN 1763Good Master Shallow, let him woo for himself.
SHALLOW  FTLN 1764Marry, I thank you for it. I thank you for that
FTLN 1765 good comfort.—She calls you, coz. I’ll leave you.
editorial emendationHe steps aside.editorial emendation
ANNE  FTLN 176655Now, Master Slender.
SLENDER  FTLN 1767Now, good Mistress Anne.
ANNE  FTLN 1768What is your will?
SLENDER  FTLN 1769My will? ’Od’s heartlings, that’s a pretty jest
FTLN 1770 indeed! I ne’er made my will yet, I thank heaven. I
FTLN 177160 am not such a sickly creature, I give heaven praise.
ANNE  FTLN 1772I mean, Master Slender, what would you with
FTLN 1773 me?
SLENDER  FTLN 1774Truly, for mine own part, I would little or
FTLN 1775 nothing with you. Your father and my uncle hath
FTLN 177665 made motions. If it be my luck, so; if not, happy
FTLN 1777 man be his dole. They can tell you how things go
FTLN 1778 better than I can. You may ask your father.

Enter Page editorial emendationandeditorial emendation Mistress Page.

FTLN 1779 Here he comes.
PAGE 
FTLN 1780 Now, Master Slender.—Love him, daughter Anne.—
FTLN 178170 Why, how now? What does Master Fenton here?

123
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 3. SC. 4

FTLN 1782 You wrong me, sir, thus still to haunt my house.
FTLN 1783 I told you, sir, my daughter is disposed of.
FENTON 
FTLN 1784 Nay, Master Page, be not impatient.
MISTRESS PAGE 
FTLN 1785 Good Master Fenton, come not to my child.
PAGE  FTLN 178675She is no match for you.
FENTON  FTLN 1787Sir, will you hear me?
PAGE  FTLN 1788No, good Master Fenton.—
FTLN 1789 Come Master Shallow.—Come, son Slender, in.—
FTLN 1790 Knowing my mind, you wrong me, Master Fenton.
editorial emendationPage, Shallow, and Slender exit.editorial emendation
MISTRESS QUICKLY , editorial emendationto Fentoneditorial emendation  FTLN 179180Speak to Mistress Page.
FENTON 
FTLN 1792 Good Mistress Page, for that I love your daughter
FTLN 1793 In such a righteous fashion as I do,
FTLN 1794 Perforce, against all checks, rebukes, and manners,
FTLN 1795 I must advance the colors of my love
FTLN 179685 And not retire. Let me have your good will.
ANNE 
FTLN 1797 Good mother, do not marry me to yond fool.
MISTRESS PAGE 
FTLN 1798 I mean it not; I seek you a better husband.
MISTRESS QUICKLY  FTLN 1799That’s my master, Master Doctor.
ANNE 
FTLN 1800 Alas, I had rather be set quick i’ th’ earth
FTLN 180190 And bowled to death with turnips!
MISTRESS PAGE 
FTLN 1802 Come, trouble not yourself.—Good Master Fenton,
FTLN 1803 I will not be your friend nor enemy.
FTLN 1804 My daughter will I question how she loves you,
FTLN 1805 And as I find her, so am I affected.
FTLN 180695 Till then, farewell, sir. She must needs go in;
FTLN 1807 Her father will be angry.
FENTON 
FTLN 1808 Farewell, gentle mistress.—Farewell, Nan.
editorial emendationMistress Page and Anne Page exit.editorial emendation

125
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 3. SC. 5

MISTRESS QUICKLY  FTLN 1809This is my doing now. “Nay,” said I,
FTLN 1810 “will you cast away your child on a fool and a
FTLN 1811100 physician? Look on Master Fenton.” This is my
FTLN 1812 doing.
FENTON 
FTLN 1813 I thank thee; and I pray thee, once tonight
FTLN 1814 Give my sweet Nan this ring. There’s for thy pains.
editorial emendationHe gives her money and a ring.editorial emendation
MISTRESS QUICKLY  FTLN 1815Now heaven send thee good fortune.
editorial emendationFenton exits.editorial emendation
FTLN 1816105 A kind heart he hath. A woman would run through
FTLN 1817 fire and water for such a kind heart. But yet I
FTLN 1818 would my master had Mistress Anne, or I would
FTLN 1819 Master Slender had her, or, in sooth, I would Master
FTLN 1820 Fenton had her. I will do what I can for them all
FTLN 1821110 three; for so I have promised and I’ll be as good as
FTLN 1822 my word—but speciously for Master Fenton. Well,
FTLN 1823 I must of another errand to Sir John Falstaff from
FTLN 1824 my two mistresses. What a beast am I to slack it!
editorial emendationSheeditorial emendation exits.


Scene 5
Enter editorial emendationSir Johneditorial emendation Falstaff.

FALSTAFF  FTLN 1825Bardolph, I say!

Enter Bardolph.

BARDOLPH  FTLN 1826Here, sir.
FALSTAFF  FTLN 1827Go fetch me a quart of sack; put a toast in ’t.
editorial emendationBardolph exits.editorial emendation
FTLN 1828 Have I lived to be carried in a basket like a barrow
FTLN 18295 of butcher’s offal, and to be thrown in the Thames?
FTLN 1830 Well, if I be served such another trick, I’ll have my
FTLN 1831 brains ta’en out and buttered, and give them to a
FTLN 1832 dog for a New Year’s gift. editorial emendation’Sblood,editorial emendation the rogues

127
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 3. SC. 5

FTLN 1833 slighted me into the river with as little remorse as
FTLN 183410 they would have drowned a blind bitch’s puppies,
FTLN 1835 fifteen i’ th’ litter! And you may know by my size
FTLN 1836 that I have a kind of alacrity in sinking; if the bottom
FTLN 1837 were as deep as hell, I should down. I had
FTLN 1838 been drowned, but that the shore was shelvy and
FTLN 183915 shallow—a death that I abhor, for the water swells
FTLN 1840 a man, and what a thing should I have been when
FTLN 1841 I had been swelled! editorial emendationBy the Lord,editorial emendation I should have
FTLN 1842 been a mountain of mummy.

editorial emendationEnter Bardolph with cups of sack.editorial emendation

BARDOLPH  FTLN 1843Here’s Mistress Quickly, sir, to speak with
FTLN 184420 you.
FALSTAFF  FTLN 1845Come, let me pour in some sack to the
FTLN 1846 Thames water, for my belly’s as cold as if I had
FTLN 1847 swallowed snowballs for pills to cool the reins.  editorial emendationHe
 drinks.editorial emendation 
FTLN 1848Call her in.
BARDOLPH  FTLN 184925Come in, woman.

Enter editorial emendationMistresseditorial emendation Quickly.

MISTRESS QUICKLY  FTLN 1850By your leave, I cry you mercy. Give
FTLN 1851 your Worship good morrow.
FALSTAFF , editorial emendationto Bardolpheditorial emendation  FTLN 1852Take away these chalices. Go
FTLN 1853 brew me a pottle of sack finely.
BARDOLPH  FTLN 185430With eggs, sir?
FALSTAFF  FTLN 1855Simple of itself. I’ll no pullet sperm in my
FTLN 1856 brewage. editorial emendationBardolph exits.editorial emendation
FTLN 1857 How now?
MISTRESS QUICKLY  FTLN 1858Marry, sir, I come to your Worship
FTLN 185935 from Mistress Ford.
FALSTAFF  FTLN 1860Mistress Ford? I have had ford enough. I
FTLN 1861 was thrown into the ford, I have my belly full of
FTLN 1862 ford.
MISTRESS QUICKLY  FTLN 1863Alas the day, good heart, that was
FTLN 186440 not her fault. She does so take on with her men;
FTLN 1865 they mistook their erection.

129
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 3. SC. 5

FALSTAFF  FTLN 1866So did I mine, to build upon a foolish
FTLN 1867 woman’s promise.
MISTRESS QUICKLY  FTLN 1868Well, she laments, sir, for it, that it
FTLN 186945 would yearn your heart to see it. Her husband goes
FTLN 1870 this morning a-birding; she desires you once more
FTLN 1871 to come to her, between eight and nine. I must
FTLN 1872 carry her word quickly. She’ll make you amends, I
FTLN 1873 warrant you.
FALSTAFF  FTLN 187450Well, I will visit her. Tell her so. And bid her
FTLN 1875 think what a man is. Let her consider his frailty,
FTLN 1876 and then judge of my merit.
MISTRESS QUICKLY  FTLN 1877I will tell her.
FALSTAFF  FTLN 1878Do so. Between nine and ten, say’st thou?
MISTRESS QUICKLY  FTLN 187955Eight and nine, sir.
FALSTAFF  FTLN 1880Well, be gone. I will not miss her.
MISTRESS QUICKLY  FTLN 1881Peace be with you, sir.
editorial emendationMistress Quickly exits.editorial emendation
FALSTAFF  FTLN 1882I marvel I hear not of Master editorial emendationBrook.editorial emendation He
FTLN 1883 sent me word to stay within. I like his money well.

Enter Ford editorial emendationdisguised as Brook.editorial emendation

FTLN 188460 O, here editorial emendationheeditorial emendation comes.
FORD , editorial emendationas Brookeditorial emendation  FTLN 1885editorial emendationGodeditorial emendation bless you, sir.
FALSTAFF  FTLN 1886Now, Master editorial emendationBrook,editorial emendation you come to know
FTLN 1887 what hath passed between me and Ford’s wife.
FORD , editorial emendationas Brookeditorial emendation  FTLN 1888That indeed, Sir John, is my
FTLN 188965 business.
FALSTAFF  FTLN 1890Master editorial emendationBrook,editorial emendation I will not lie to you. I was at
FTLN 1891 her house the hour she appointed me.
FORD , editorial emendationas Brookeditorial emendation  FTLN 1892And sped you, sir?
FALSTAFF  FTLN 1893Very ill-favoredly, Master editorial emendationBrook.editorial emendation
FORD , editorial emendationas Brookeditorial emendation  FTLN 189470How so, sir? Did she change her
FTLN 1895 determination?
FALSTAFF  FTLN 1896No, Master editorial emendationBrook,editorial emendation but the peaking cornuto
FTLN 1897 her husband, Master editorial emendationBrook,editorial emendation dwelling in a continual
FTLN 1898 ’larum of jealousy, comes me in the instant of

131
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 3. SC. 5

FTLN 189975 our encounter, after we had embraced, kissed,
FTLN 1900 protested, and, as it were, spoke the prologue of
FTLN 1901 our comedy, and, at his heels, a rabble of his companions,
FTLN 1902 thither provoked and instigated by his
FTLN 1903 distemper, and, forsooth, to search his house for
FTLN 190480 his wife’s love.
FORD , editorial emendationas Brookeditorial emendation  FTLN 1905What, while you were there?
FALSTAFF  FTLN 1906While I was there.
FORD , editorial emendationas Brookeditorial emendation  FTLN 1907And did he search for you and could
FTLN 1908 not find you?
FALSTAFF  FTLN 190985You shall hear. As good luck would have it,
FTLN 1910 comes in one Mistress Page, gives intelligence of
FTLN 1911 Ford’s approach, and, in her invention and Ford’s
FTLN 1912 wife’s distraction, they conveyed me into a
FTLN 1913 buck-basket.
FORD , editorial emendationas Brookeditorial emendation  FTLN 191490A buck-basket!
FALSTAFF  FTLN 1915editorial emendationBy the Lord,editorial emendation a buck-basket! Rammed me
FTLN 1916 in with foul shirts and smocks, socks, foul stockings,
FTLN 1917 greasy napkins, that, Master editorial emendationBrook,editorial emendation there
FTLN 1918 was the rankest compound of villainous smell that
FTLN 191995 ever offended nostril.
FORD , editorial emendationas Brookeditorial emendation  FTLN 1920And how long lay you there?
FALSTAFF  FTLN 1921Nay, you shall hear, Master editorial emendationBrook,editorial emendation what I
FTLN 1922 have suffered to bring this woman to evil for your
FTLN 1923 good. Being thus crammed in the basket, a couple
FTLN 1924100 of Ford’s knaves, his hinds, were called forth by
FTLN 1925 their mistress to carry me in the name of foul
FTLN 1926 clothes to Datchet Lane. They took me on their
FTLN 1927 shoulders, met the jealous knave their master in
FTLN 1928 the door, who asked them once or twice what they
FTLN 1929105 had in their basket. I quaked for fear lest the lunatic
FTLN 1930 knave would have searched it, but fate, ordaining
FTLN 1931 he should be a cuckold, held his hand.
FTLN 1932 Well, on went he for a search, and away went I for
FTLN 1933 foul clothes. But mark the sequel, Master editorial emendationBrook.editorial emendation
FTLN 1934110 I suffered the pangs of three several deaths: first,

133
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 3. SC. 5

FTLN 1935 an intolerable fright to be detected with a jealous
FTLN 1936 rotten bellwether; next, to be compassed, like a
FTLN 1937 good bilbo, in the circumference of a peck, hilt to
FTLN 1938 point, heel to head; and then, to be stopped in, like
FTLN 1939115 a strong distillation, with stinking clothes that fretted
FTLN 1940 in their own grease. Think of that, a man of my
FTLN 1941 kidney—think of that—that am as subject to heat
FTLN 1942 as butter; a man of continual dissolution and thaw.
FTLN 1943 It was a miracle to ’scape suffocation. And in
FTLN 1944120 the height of this bath, when I was more than half-stewed
FTLN 1945 in grease, like a Dutch dish, to be thrown
FTLN 1946 into the Thames and cooled, glowing hot, in that
FTLN 1947 surge, like a horseshoe! Think of that—hissing
FTLN 1948 hot—think of that, Master editorial emendationBrook.editorial emendation
FORD , editorial emendationas Brookeditorial emendation  FTLN 1949125In good sadness, sir, I am sorry that
FTLN 1950 for my sake you have suffered all this. My suit,
FTLN 1951 then, is desperate. You’ll undertake her no more?
FALSTAFF  FTLN 1952Master editorial emendationBrook,editorial emendation I will be thrown into Etna,
FTLN 1953 as I have been into Thames, ere I will leave her
FTLN 1954130 thus. Her husband is this morning gone a-birding.
FTLN 1955 I have received from her another embassy of meeting.
FTLN 1956 ’Twixt eight and nine is the hour, Master
FTLN 1957 editorial emendationBrook.editorial emendation
FORD , editorial emendationas Brookeditorial emendation  FTLN 1958’Tis past eight already, sir.
FALSTAFF  FTLN 1959135Is it? I will then address me to my appointment.
FTLN 1960 Come to me at your convenient leisure,
FTLN 1961 and you shall know how I speed; and the conclusion
FTLN 1962 shall be crowned with your enjoying her.
FTLN 1963 Adieu. You shall have her, Master editorial emendationBrook.editorial emendation Master
FTLN 1964140 editorial emendationBrook,editorial emendation you shall cuckold Ford. editorial emendationFalstaff exits.editorial emendation
FORD  FTLN 1965Hum! Ha! Is this a vision? Is this a dream? Do I
FTLN 1966 sleep? Master Ford, awake! Awake, Master Ford!
FTLN 1967 There’s a hole made in your best coat, Master
FTLN 1968 Ford. This ’tis to be married; this ’tis to have linen
FTLN 1969145 and buck-baskets! Well, I will proclaim myself
FTLN 1970 what I am. I will now take the lecher. He is at my

135
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 3. SC. 5

FTLN 1971 house. He cannot ’scape me. ’Tis impossible he
FTLN 1972 should. He cannot creep into a half-penny purse,
FTLN 1973 nor into a pepper-box. But lest the devil that
FTLN 1974150 guides him should aid him, I will search impossible
FTLN 1975 places. Though what I am I cannot avoid, yet to
FTLN 1976 be what I would not shall not make me tame. If I
FTLN 1977 have horns to make one mad, let the proverb go
FTLN 1978 with me: I’ll be horn-mad.
editorial emendationHeeditorial emendation exits.




ACT 4
Scene 1
Enter Mistress Page, editorial emendationMistresseditorial emendation Quickly, editorial emendationandeditorial emendation William.

MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 1979Is he at Master Ford’s already, think’st
FTLN 1980 thou?
MISTRESS QUICKLY  FTLN 1981Sure he is by this, or will be presently.
FTLN 1982 But truly he is very courageous mad about
FTLN 19835 his throwing into the water. Mistress Ford desires
FTLN 1984 you to come suddenly.
MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 1985I’ll be with her by and by. I’ll but bring
FTLN 1986 my young man here to school.

Enter editorial emendationSir Hugheditorial emendation Evans.

FTLN 1987 Look where his master comes. ’Tis a playing day, I
FTLN 198810 see.—How now, Sir Hugh, no school today?
SIR HUGH  FTLN 1989No. Master Slender is let the boys leave to
FTLN 1990 play.
MISTRESS QUICKLY  FTLN 1991Blessing of his heart!
MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 1992Sir Hugh, my husband says my son
FTLN 199315 profits nothing in the world at his book. I pray you,
FTLN 1994 ask him some questions in his accidence.
SIR HUGH  FTLN 1995Come hither, William. Hold up your head.
FTLN 1996 Come.
MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 1997Come on, sirrah. Hold up your head.
FTLN 199820 Answer your master. Be not afraid.
SIR HUGH  FTLN 1999William, how many numbers is in nouns?
WILLIAM  FTLN 2000Two.
139

141
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 4. SC. 1

MISTRESS QUICKLY  FTLN 2001Truly, I thought there had been one
FTLN 2002 number more, because they say “’Od’s nouns.”
SIR HUGH  FTLN 200325Peace your tattlings!—What is “fair,”
FTLN 2004 William?
WILLIAM  FTLN 2005Pulcher.
MISTRESS QUICKLY  FTLN 2006Polecats? There are fairer things
FTLN 2007 than polecats, sure.
SIR HUGH  FTLN 200830You are a very simplicity ’oman. I pray you,
FTLN 2009 peace.—What is lapis, William?
WILLIAM  FTLN 2010A stone.
SIR HUGH  FTLN 2011And what is “a stone,” William?
WILLIAM  FTLN 2012A pebble.
SIR HUGH  FTLN 201335No. It is lapis. I pray you, remember in your
FTLN 2014 prain.
WILLIAM  FTLN 2015Lapis.
SIR HUGH  FTLN 2016That is a good William. What is he, William,
FTLN 2017 that does lend articles?
WILLIAM  FTLN 201840Articles are borrowed of the pronoun and be
FTLN 2019 thus declined: singulariter, nominativo, hic, haec,
FTLN 2020 hoc
.
SIR HUGH  FTLN 2021Nominativo, hig, haeg, hog. Pray you, mark:
FTLN 2022 genitivo, huius. Well, what is your accusative case?
WILLIAM  FTLN 202345Accusativo, hinc.
SIR HUGH  FTLN 2024I pray you, have your remembrance, child.
FTLN 2025 Accusativo, editorial emendationhung,editorial emendation hang, hog.
MISTRESS QUICKLY  FTLN 2026“Hang-hog” is Latin for bacon, I
FTLN 2027 warrant you.
SIR HUGH  FTLN 202850Leave your prabbles, ’oman.—What is the
FTLN 2029 focative case, William?
WILLIAM  FTLN 2030O—vocativo—O—
SIR HUGH  FTLN 2031Remember, William, focative is caret.
MISTRESS QUICKLY  FTLN 2032And that’s a good root.
SIR HUGH  FTLN 203355’Oman, forbear.
MISTRESS PAGE , editorial emendationto Mistress Quicklyeditorial emendation  FTLN 2034Peace!
SIR HUGH  FTLN 2035What is your genitive case plural, William?
WILLIAM  FTLN 2036Genitive case?

143
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 4. SC. 2

SIR HUGH  FTLN 2037Ay.
WILLIAM  FTLN 203860Genitive: horum, harum, horum.
MISTRESS QUICKLY  FTLN 2039Vengeance of Ginny’s case! Fie on
FTLN 2040 her! Never name her, child, if she be a whore.
SIR HUGH  FTLN 2041For shame, ’oman!
MISTRESS QUICKLY  FTLN 2042You do ill to teach the child such
FTLN 204365 words.—He teaches him to hick and to hack,
FTLN 2044 which they’ll do fast enough of themselves, and to
FTLN 2045 call “whorum.”—Fie upon you!
SIR HUGH  FTLN 2046’Oman, art thou lunatics? Hast thou no understandings
FTLN 2047 for thy cases and the numbers of the
FTLN 204870 genders? Thou art as foolish Christian creatures as
FTLN 2049 I would desires.
MISTRESS PAGE , editorial emendationto Mistress Quicklyeditorial emendation  FTLN 2050Prithee, hold thy
FTLN 2051 peace.
SIR HUGH  FTLN 2052Show me now, William, some declensions of
FTLN 205375 your pronouns.
WILLIAM  FTLN 2054Forsooth, I have forgot.
SIR HUGH  FTLN 2055It is qui, quae, quod. If you forget your qui’s,
FTLN 2056 your quae’s, and your quod’s, you must be
FTLN 2057 preeches. Go your ways and play, go.
MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 205880He is a better scholar than I thought he
FTLN 2059 was.
SIR HUGH  FTLN 2060He is a good sprag memory. Farewell, Mistress
FTLN 2061 Page.
MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 2062Adieu, good Sir Hugh.—Get you home,
FTLN 206385 boy.  editorial emendation(To Mistress Quickly.)editorial emendation Come. We stay too
FTLN 2064 long.
They exit.


Scene 2
Enter editorial emendationSir Johneditorial emendation Falstaff editorial emendationandeditorial emendation Mistress Ford.

FALSTAFF  FTLN 2065Mistress Ford, your sorrow hath eaten up
FTLN 2066 my sufferance. I see you are obsequious in your
FTLN 2067 love, and I profess requital to a hair’s breadth, not

145
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 4. SC. 2

FTLN 2068 only, Mistress Ford, in the simple office of love,
FTLN 20695 but in all the accoutrement, compliment, and ceremony
FTLN 2070 of it. But are you sure of your husband now?
MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 2071He’s a-birding, sweet Sir John.
MISTRESS PAGE , editorial emendationwithineditorial emendation  FTLN 2072What ho, gossip Ford! What
FTLN 2073 ho!
MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 207410Step into th’ chamber, Sir John.
editorial emendationFalstaff exits.editorial emendation

Enter Mistress Page.

MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 2075How now, sweetheart, who’s at home
FTLN 2076 besides yourself?
MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 2077Why, none but mine own people.
MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 2078Indeed?
MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 207915No, certainly.  editorial emendationAside to her.editorial emendation Speak
FTLN 2080 louder.
MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 2081Truly, I am so glad you have nobody
FTLN 2082 here.
MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 2083Why?
MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 208420Why, woman, your husband is in his
FTLN 2085 old editorial emendationluneseditorial emendation again. He so takes on yonder with my
FTLN 2086 husband, so rails against all married mankind, so
FTLN 2087 curses all Eve’s daughters of what complexion soever,
FTLN 2088 and so buffets himself on the forehead, crying
FTLN 208925 “Peer out, peer out!” that any madness I ever yet
FTLN 2090 beheld seemed but tameness, civility, and patience
FTLN 2091 to this his distemper he is in now. I am glad the fat
FTLN 2092 knight is not here.
MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 2093Why, does he talk of him?
MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 209430Of none but him, and swears he was
FTLN 2095 carried out, the last time he searched for him, in a
FTLN 2096 basket; protests to my husband he is now here;
FTLN 2097 and hath drawn him and the rest of their company
FTLN 2098 from their sport to make another experiment of
FTLN 209935 his suspicion. But I am glad the knight is not here.
FTLN 2100 Now he shall see his own foolery.

147
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 4. SC. 2

MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 2101How near is he, Mistress Page?
MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 2102Hard by, at street end. He will be here
FTLN 2103 anon.
MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 210440I am undone! The knight is here.
MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 2105Why then, you are utterly shamed, and
FTLN 2106 he’s but a dead man. What a woman are you! Away
FTLN 2107 with him, away with him! Better shame than
FTLN 2108 murder.
MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 210945Which way should he go? How should
FTLN 2110 I bestow him? Shall I put him into the basket
FTLN 2111 again?

editorial emendationEnter Sir John Falstaff.editorial emendation

FALSTAFF  FTLN 2112No, I’ll come no more i’ th’ basket. May I not
FTLN 2113 go out ere he come?
MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 211450Alas, three of Master Ford’s brothers
FTLN 2115 watch the door with pistols, that none shall issue
FTLN 2116 out. Otherwise you might slip away ere he came.
FTLN 2117 But what make you here?
FALSTAFF  FTLN 2118What shall I do? I’ll creep up into the
FTLN 211955 chimney.
MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 2120There they always use to discharge
FTLN 2121 their birding pieces.
editorial emendationMISTRESS PAGEeditorial emendation  FTLN 2122Creep into the kiln-hole.
FALSTAFF  FTLN 2123Where is it?
MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 212460He will seek there, on my word. Neither
FTLN 2125 press, coffer, chest, trunk, well, vault, but he
FTLN 2126 hath an abstract for the remembrance of such
FTLN 2127 places, and goes to them by his note. There is no
FTLN 2128 hiding you in the house.
FALSTAFF  FTLN 212965I’ll go out, then.
MISTRESS editorial emendationPAGEeditorial emendation  FTLN 2130If you go out in your own semblance,
FTLN 2131 you die, Sir John—unless you go out disguised.
MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 2132How might we disguise him?
MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 2133Alas the day, I know not. There is no
FTLN 213470 woman’s gown big enough for him; otherwise he

149
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 4. SC. 2

FTLN 2135 might put on a hat, a muffler, and a kerchief, and
FTLN 2136 so escape.
FALSTAFF  FTLN 2137Good hearts, devise something. Any extremity
FTLN 2138 rather than a mischief.
MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 213975My maid’s aunt, the fat woman of
FTLN 2140 Brentford, has a gown above.
MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 2141On my word, it will serve him. She’s as
FTLN 2142 big as he is. And there’s her thrummed hat and her
FTLN 2143 muffler too.—Run up, Sir John.
MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 214480Go, go, sweet Sir John. Mistress Page
FTLN 2145 and I will look some linen for your head.
MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 2146Quick, quick! We’ll come dress you
FTLN 2147 straight. Put on the gown the while.
editorial emendationFalstaff exits.editorial emendation
MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 2148I would my husband would meet him
FTLN 214985 in this shape. He cannot abide the old woman of
FTLN 2150 Brentford. He swears she’s a witch, forbade her my
FTLN 2151 house, and hath threatened to beat her.
MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 2152Heaven guide him to thy husband’s
FTLN 2153 cudgel, and the devil guide his cudgel afterwards!
MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 215490But is my husband coming?
MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 2155Ay, in good sadness is he, and talks of
FTLN 2156 the basket too, howsoever he hath had
FTLN 2157 intelligence.
MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 2158We’ll try that; for I’ll appoint my men
FTLN 215995 to carry the basket again, to meet him at the door
FTLN 2160 with it as they did last time.
MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 2161Nay, but he’ll be here presently. Let’s go
FTLN 2162 dress him like the witch of Brentford.
MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 2163I’ll first direct my men what they shall
FTLN 2164100 do with the basket. Go up. I’ll bring linen for him
FTLN 2165 straight. editorial emendationShe exits.editorial emendation
MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 2166Hang him, dishonest varlet! We cannot
FTLN 2167 misuse editorial emendationhimeditorial emendation enough.
FTLN 2168 We’ll leave a proof, by that which we will do,
FTLN 2169105 Wives may be merry and yet honest too.

151
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 4. SC. 2

FTLN 2170 We do not act that often jest and laugh;
FTLN 2171 ’Tis old but true: “Still swine eats all the draff.”
editorial emendationShe exits.editorial emendation

editorial emendationEnter Mistress Ford with Robert and John,
who bring the buck-basket.editorial emendation


MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 2172Go, sirs, take the basket again on your
FTLN 2173 shoulders. Your master is hard at door. If he bid
FTLN 2174110 you set it down, obey him. Quickly, dispatch.
editorial emendationShe exits.editorial emendation
editorial emendationROBERTeditorial emendation  FTLN 2175Come, come, take it up.
editorial emendationJOHNeditorial emendation  FTLN 2176Pray heaven it be not full of knight again.
editorial emendationROBERTeditorial emendation  FTLN 2177I hope not. I had lief as bear so much lead.
editorial emendationThey pick up the basket.editorial emendation

Enter Ford, Page, editorial emendationDoctoreditorial emendation Caius, editorial emendationSir Hugheditorial emendation
Evans, editorial emendationandeditorial emendation Shallow.


FORD  FTLN 2178Ay, but if it prove true, Master Page, have you
FTLN 2179115 any way then to unfool me again?—Set down the
FTLN 2180 basket, villain.  editorial emendationThey put the basket down.editorial emendation Somebody
FTLN 2181 call my wife. Youth in a basket! O, you panderly
FTLN 2182 rascals! There’s a knot, a editorial emendationgang,editorial emendation a pack, a
FTLN 2183 conspiracy against me. Now shall the devil be
FTLN 2184120 shamed.—What, wife, I say! Come, come forth!
FTLN 2185 Behold what honest clothes you send forth to
FTLN 2186 bleaching!
PAGE  FTLN 2187Why, this passes, Master Ford! You are not to go
FTLN 2188 loose any longer; you must be pinioned.
SIR HUGH  FTLN 2189125Why, this is lunatics. This is mad as a mad
FTLN 2190 dog.
SHALLOW  FTLN 2191Indeed, Master Ford, this is not well, indeed.
FORD  FTLN 2192So say I too, sir.

editorial emendationEnter Mistress Ford.editorial emendation

FTLN 2193 Come hither, Mistress Ford.—Mistress Ford, the
FTLN 2194130 honest woman, the modest wife, the virtuous creature,

153
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 4. SC. 2

FTLN 2195 that hath the jealous fool to her husband!—I
FTLN 2196 suspect without cause, mistress, do I?
MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 2197Heaven be my witness you do, if you
FTLN 2198 suspect me in any dishonesty.
FORD  FTLN 2199135Well said, brazen-face. Hold it out.—Come
FTLN 2200 forth, sirrah. editorial emendationHe pulls clothes out of the basket.editorial emendation
PAGE  FTLN 2201This passes.
MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 2202Are you not ashamed? Let the clothes
FTLN 2203 alone.
FORD  FTLN 2204140I shall find you anon.
SIR HUGH  FTLN 2205’Tis unreasonable. Will you take up your
FTLN 2206 wife’s clothes? Come, away.
FORD , editorial emendationto the Servantseditorial emendation  FTLN 2207Empty the basket, I say.
MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 2208Why, man, why?
FORD  FTLN 2209145Master Page, as I am a man, there was one conveyed
FTLN 2210 out of my house yesterday in this basket.
FTLN 2211 Why may not he be there again? In my house I am
FTLN 2212 sure he is. My intelligence is true, my jealousy is
FTLN 2213 reasonable.—Pluck me out all the linen.
MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 2214150If you find a man there, he shall die a
FTLN 2215 flea’s death. editorial emendationRobert and John empty the basket.editorial emendation
PAGE  FTLN 2216Here’s no man.
SHALLOW  FTLN 2217By my fidelity, this is not well, Master Ford.
FTLN 2218 This wrongs you.
SIR HUGH  FTLN 2219155Master Ford, you must pray, and not follow
FTLN 2220 the imaginations of your own heart. This is
FTLN 2221 jealousies.
FORD  FTLN 2222Well, he’s not here I seek for.
PAGE  FTLN 2223No, nor nowhere else but in your brain.
FORD  FTLN 2224160Help to search my house this one time. If I find
FTLN 2225 not what I seek, show no color for my extremity.
FTLN 2226 Let me forever be your table-sport. Let them say of
FTLN 2227 me “As jealous as Ford, that searched a hollow
FTLN 2228 walnut for his wife’s leman.” Satisfy me once
FTLN 2229165 more. Once more search with me.
editorial emendationRobert and John refill the basket and carry it off.editorial emendation

155
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 4. SC. 2

MISTRESS FORD , editorial emendationcalling offstageeditorial emendation  FTLN 2230What ho, Mistress
FTLN 2231 Page! Come you and the old woman down. My
FTLN 2232 husband will come into the chamber.
FORD  FTLN 2233“Old woman”? What old woman’s that?
MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 2234170Why, it is my maid’s aunt of Brentford.
FORD  FTLN 2235A witch, a quean, an old cozening quean! Have
FTLN 2236 I not forbid her my house? She comes of errands,
FTLN 2237 does she? We are simple men; we do not know
FTLN 2238 what’s brought to pass under the profession of
FTLN 2239175 fortune-telling. She works by charms, by spells, by
FTLN 2240 th’ figure, and such daubery as this is, beyond our
FTLN 2241 element. We know nothing.— Come down, you
FTLN 2242 witch, you hag, you! Come down, I say!
editorial emendationFord seizes a cudgel.editorial emendation
MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 2243Nay, good sweet husband!—Good gentlemen,
FTLN 2244180 let him editorial emendationnoteditorial emendation strike the old woman.

editorial emendationEnter Mistress Page and Sir John Falstaff disguised
as an old woman.editorial emendation


MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 2245Come, Mother Pratt; come, give me
FTLN 2246 your hand.
FORD  FTLN 2247I’ll pratt her.  editorial emendation(He beats Falstaff.)editorial emendation Out of my
FTLN 2248 door, you witch, you rag, you baggage, you polecat,
FTLN 2249185 you runnion! Out, out! I’ll conjure you, I’ll
FTLN 2250 fortune-tell you! editorial emendationFalstaff exits.editorial emendation
MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 2251Are you not ashamed? I think you have
FTLN 2252 killed the poor woman.
MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 2253Nay, he will do it.—’Tis a goodly credit
FTLN 2254190 for you.
FORD  FTLN 2255Hang her, witch!
SIR HUGH  FTLN 2256By yea and no, I think the ’oman is a witch
FTLN 2257 indeed. I like not when a ’oman has a great peard.
FTLN 2258 I spy a great peard under editorial emendationhereditorial emendation muffler.
FORD  FTLN 2259195Will you follow, gentlemen? I beseech you, follow.
FTLN 2260 See but the issue of my jealousy. If I cry out
FTLN 2261 thus upon no trail, never trust me when I open
FTLN 2262 again.

157
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 4. SC. 3

PAGE  FTLN 2263Let’s obey his humor a little further. Come,
FTLN 2264200 gentlemen.
editorial emendationFord, Page, Caius, Sir Hugh, and Shallow exit.editorial emendation
MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 2265Trust me, he beat him most pitifully.
MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 2266Nay, by th’ Mass, that he did not; he
FTLN 2267 beat him most unpitifully, methought.
MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 2268I’ll have the cudgel hallowed and hung
FTLN 2269205 o’er the altar. It hath done meritorious service.
MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 2270What think you? May we, with the
FTLN 2271 warrant of womanhood and the witness of a good
FTLN 2272 conscience, pursue him with any further revenge?
MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 2273The spirit of wantonness is, sure,
FTLN 2274210 scared out of him. If the devil have him not in fee
FTLN 2275 simple, with fine and recovery, he will never, I
FTLN 2276 think, in the way of waste, attempt us again.
MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 2277Shall we tell our husbands how we
FTLN 2278 have served him?
MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 2279215Yes, by all means—if it be but to scrape
FTLN 2280 the figures out of your husband’s brains. If they
FTLN 2281 can find in their hearts the poor unvirtuous fat
FTLN 2282 knight shall be any further afflicted, we two will
FTLN 2283 still be the ministers.
MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 2284220I’ll warrant they’ll have him publicly
FTLN 2285 shamed, and methinks there would be no period to
FTLN 2286 the jest should he not be publicly shamed.
MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 2287Come, to the forge with it, then shape
FTLN 2288 it. I would not have things cool.
They exit.


Scene 3
Enter Host and Bardolph.

BARDOLPH  FTLN 2289Sir, the editorial emendationGermans desireeditorial emendation to have three of
FTLN 2290 your horses. The Duke himself will be tomorrow at
FTLN 2291 court, and they are going to meet him.

159
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 4. SC. 4

HOST  FTLN 2292What duke should that be comes so secretly? I
FTLN 22935 hear not of him in the court. Let me speak with the
FTLN 2294 gentlemen. They speak English?
BARDOLPH  FTLN 2295Ay, sir. I’ll call editorial emendationthemeditorial emendation to you.
HOST  FTLN 2296They shall have my horses, but I’ll make them
FTLN 2297 pay. I’ll sauce them. They have had my editorial emendationhouseeditorial emendation a
FTLN 229810 week at command; I have turned away my other
FTLN 2299 guests. They must come off. I’ll sauce them. Come.
They exit.


Scene 4
Enter Page, Ford, Mistress Page, Mistress Ford, and
editorial emendationSir Hugheditorial emendation Evans.


SIR HUGH  FTLN 2300’Tis one of the best discretions of a ’oman as
FTLN 2301 ever I did look upon.
PAGE  FTLN 2302And did he send you both these letters at an
FTLN 2303 instant?
MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 23045Within a quarter of an hour.
FORD 
FTLN 2305 Pardon me, wife. Henceforth do what thou wilt.
FTLN 2306 I rather will suspect the sun with editorial emendationcoldeditorial emendation
FTLN 2307 Than thee with wantonness. Now doth thy honor
FTLN 2308 stand,
FTLN 230910 In him that was of late an heretic,
FTLN 2310 As firm as faith.
PAGE  FTLN 2311 ’Tis well, ’tis well. No more.
FTLN 2312 Be not as extreme in submission as in offense.
FTLN 2313 But let our plot go forward. Let our wives
FTLN 231415 Yet once again, to make us public sport,
FTLN 2315 Appoint a meeting with this old fat fellow,
FTLN 2316 Where we may take him and disgrace him for it.
FORD 
FTLN 2317 There is no better way than that they spoke of.
PAGE  FTLN 2318How, to send him word they’ll meet him in the
FTLN 231920 park at midnight? Fie, fie, he’ll never come.

161
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 4. SC. 4

SIR HUGH  FTLN 2320You say he has been thrown in the rivers
FTLN 2321 and has been grievously peaten as an old ’oman.
FTLN 2322 Methinks there should be terrors in him, that he
FTLN 2323 should not come. Methinks his flesh is punished;
FTLN 232425 he shall have no desires.
PAGE  FTLN 2325So think I too.
MISTRESS FORD 
FTLN 2326 Devise but how you’ll use him when he comes,
FTLN 2327 And let us two devise to bring him thither.
MISTRESS PAGE 
FTLN 2328 There is an old tale goes that Herne the Hunter,
FTLN 232930 Sometime a keeper here in Windsor Forest,
FTLN 2330 Doth all the wintertime, at still midnight,
FTLN 2331 Walk round about an oak, with great ragged horns,
FTLN 2332 And there he blasts the tree, and takes the cattle,
FTLN 2333 And editorial emendationmakeseditorial emendation milch-kine yield blood, and shakes a
FTLN 233435 chain
FTLN 2335 In a most hideous and dreadful manner.
FTLN 2336 You have heard of such a spirit, and well you know
FTLN 2337 The superstitious idle-headed eld
FTLN 2338 Received and did deliver to our age
FTLN 233940 This tale of Herne the Hunter for a truth.
PAGE 
FTLN 2340 Why, yet there want not many that do fear
FTLN 2341 In deep of night to walk by this Herne’s oak.
FTLN 2342 But what of this?
MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 2343 Marry, this is our device,
FTLN 234445 That Falstaff at that oak shall meet with us.
PAGE 
FTLN 2345 Well, let it not be doubted but he’ll come.
FTLN 2346 And in this shape when you have brought him
FTLN 2347 thither,
FTLN 2348 What shall be done with him? What is your plot?
MISTRESS PAGE 
FTLN 234950 That likewise have we thought upon, and thus:
FTLN 2350 Nan Page my daughter, and my little son,

163
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 4. SC. 4

FTLN 2351 And three or four more of their growth we’ll dress
FTLN 2352 Like urchins, aufs, and fairies, green and white,
FTLN 2353 With rounds of waxen tapers on their heads
FTLN 235455 And rattles in their hands. Upon a sudden,
FTLN 2355 As Falstaff, she, and I are newly met,
FTLN 2356 Let them from forth a sawpit rush at once
FTLN 2357 With some diffusèd song. Upon their sight,
FTLN 2358 We two in great amazedness will fly.
FTLN 235960 Then let them all encircle him about,
FTLN 2360 And, fairy-like, to pinch the unclean knight,
FTLN 2361 And ask him why, that hour of fairy revel,
FTLN 2362 In their so sacred paths he dares to tread
FTLN 2363 In shape profane.
FORD  FTLN 236465 And till he tell the truth,
FTLN 2365 Let the supposèd fairies pinch him sound
FTLN 2366 And burn him with their tapers.
MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 2367 The truth being known,
FTLN 2368 We’ll all present ourselves, dis-horn the spirit,
FTLN 236970 And mock him home to Windsor.
FORD  FTLN 2370 The children must
FTLN 2371 Be practiced well to this, or they’ll ne’er do ’t.
SIR HUGH  FTLN 2372I will teach the children their behaviors, and
FTLN 2373 I will be like a jackanapes also, to burn the knight
FTLN 237475 with my taber.
FORD  FTLN 2375That will be excellent. I’ll go buy them vizards.
MISTRESS PAGE 
FTLN 2376 My Nan shall be the queen of all the fairies,
FTLN 2377 Finely attirèd in a robe of white.
PAGE 
FTLN 2378 That silk will I go buy.  editorial emendation(Aside.)editorial emendation And in that time
FTLN 237980 Shall Master Slender steal my Nan away
FTLN 2380 And marry her at Eton.—Go, send to Falstaff
FTLN 2381 straight.
FORD 
FTLN 2382 Nay, I’ll to him again in name of editorial emendationBrook.editorial emendation
FTLN 2383 He’ll tell me all his purpose. Sure he’ll come.

165
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 4. SC. 5

MISTRESS PAGE 
FTLN 238485 Fear not you that. Go get us properties
FTLN 2385 And tricking for our fairies.
SIR HUGH  FTLN 2386Let us about it. It is admirable pleasures and
FTLN 2387 fery honest knaveries.
editorial emendationPage, Ford, and Sir Hugh exit.editorial emendation
MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 2388Go, Mistress Ford,
FTLN 238990 Send quickly to Sir John to know his mind.
editorial emendationMistress Ford exits.editorial emendation
FTLN 2390 I’ll to the doctor. He hath my good will,
FTLN 2391 And none but he, to marry with Nan Page.
FTLN 2392 That Slender, though well-landed, is an idiot,
FTLN 2393 And he my husband best of all affects.
FTLN 239495 The doctor is well-moneyed, and his friends
FTLN 2395 Potent at court. He, none but he, shall have her,
FTLN 2396 Though twenty thousand worthier come to crave her.
editorial emendationShe exits.editorial emendation


Scene 5
Enter Host editorial emendationandeditorial emendation Simple.

HOST  FTLN 2397What wouldst thou have, boor? What, thickskin?
FTLN 2398 Speak, breathe, discuss; brief, short, quick,
FTLN 2399 snap.
SIMPLE  FTLN 2400Marry, sir, I come to speak with Sir John Falstaff
FTLN 24015 from Master Slender.
HOST  FTLN 2402There’s his chamber, his house, his castle, his
FTLN 2403 standing-bed and truckle-bed. ’Tis painted about
FTLN 2404 with the story of the Prodigal, fresh and new. Go,
FTLN 2405 knock and call. He’ll speak like an Anthropophaginian
FTLN 240610 unto thee. Knock, I say.
SIMPLE  FTLN 2407There’s an old woman, a fat woman, gone up
FTLN 2408 into his chamber. I’ll be so bold as stay, sir, till she
FTLN 2409 come down. I come to speak with her, indeed.
HOST  FTLN 2410Ha? A fat woman? The knight may be robbed.
FTLN 241115 I’ll call.—Bully knight! Bully Sir John! Speak from

167
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 4. SC. 5

FTLN 2412 thy lungs military. Art thou there? It is thine Host,
FTLN 2413 thine Ephesian, calls.
FALSTAFF , editorial emendationwithineditorial emendation  FTLN 2414How now, mine Host?
HOST  FTLN 2415Here’s a Bohemian Tartar tarries the coming
FTLN 241620 down of thy fat woman. Let her descend, bully, let
FTLN 2417 her descend. My chambers are honorable. Fie! Privacy?
FTLN 2418 Fie!

Enter editorial emendationSir Johneditorial emendation Falstaff.

FALSTAFF  FTLN 2419There was, mine Host, an old fat woman
FTLN 2420 even now with me, but she’s gone.
SIMPLE  FTLN 242125Pray you, sir, was ’t not the wise woman of
FTLN 2422 Brentford?
FALSTAFF  FTLN 2423Ay, marry, was it, mussel-shell. What would
FTLN 2424 you with her?
SIMPLE  FTLN 2425My master, sir, my Master Slender, sent to her,
FTLN 242630 seeing her go through the streets, to know, sir,
FTLN 2427 whether one Nym, sir, that beguiled him of a chain,
FTLN 2428 had the chain or no.
FALSTAFF  FTLN 2429I spake with the old woman about it.
SIMPLE  FTLN 2430And what says she, I pray, sir?
FALSTAFF  FTLN 243135Marry, she says that the very same man that
FTLN 2432 beguiled Master Slender of his chain cozened him
FTLN 2433 of it.
SIMPLE  FTLN 2434I would I could have spoken with the woman
FTLN 2435 herself. I had other things to have spoken with her
FTLN 243640 too from him.
FALSTAFF  FTLN 2437What are they? Let us know.
HOST  FTLN 2438Ay, come. Quick!
editorial emendationSIMPLEeditorial emendation  FTLN 2439I may not conceal them, sir.
HOST  FTLN 2440Conceal them, or thou diest.
SIMPLE  FTLN 244145Why, sir, they were nothing but about Mistress
FTLN 2442 Anne Page, to know if it were my master’s fortune
FTLN 2443 to have her or no.
FALSTAFF  FTLN 2444’Tis; ’tis his fortune.
SIMPLE  FTLN 2445What, sir?

169
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 4. SC. 5

FALSTAFF  FTLN 244650To have her or no. Go. Say the woman told
FTLN 2447 me so.
SIMPLE  FTLN 2448May I be bold to say so, sir?
FALSTAFF  FTLN 2449Ay, sir; like who more bold.
SIMPLE  FTLN 2450I thank your Worship. I shall make my master
FTLN 245155 glad with these tidings. editorial emendationHe exits.editorial emendation
HOST  FTLN 2452Thou editorial emendationarteditorial emendation clerkly, thou art clerkly, Sir John. Was
FTLN 2453 there a wise woman with thee?
FALSTAFF  FTLN 2454Ay, that there was, mine Host, one that hath
FTLN 2455 taught me more wit than ever I learned before in
FTLN 245660 my life. And I paid nothing for it neither, but was
FTLN 2457 paid for my learning.

Enter Bardolph.

BARDOLPH , editorial emendationto Hosteditorial emendation  FTLN 2458Out, alas, sir, cozenage, mere
FTLN 2459 cozenage!
HOST  FTLN 2460Where be my horses? Speak well of them,
FTLN 246165 varletto.
BARDOLPH  FTLN 2462Run away with the cozeners. For so soon as
FTLN 2463 I came beyond Eton, they threw me off from behind
FTLN 2464 one of them in a slough of mire, and set
FTLN 2465 spurs, and away, like three German devils, three
FTLN 246670 Doctor Faustuses.
HOST  FTLN 2467They are gone but to meet the Duke, villain. Do
FTLN 2468 not say they be fled. Germans are honest men.

Enter editorial emendationSir Hugheditorial emendation Evans.

SIR HUGH  FTLN 2469Where is mine Host?
HOST  FTLN 2470What is the matter, sir?
SIR HUGH  FTLN 247175Have a care of your entertainments. There is
FTLN 2472 a friend of mine come to town tells me there is
FTLN 2473 three cozen-Germans that has cozened all the
FTLN 2474 hosts of Readings, of Maidenhead, of Colnbrook,
FTLN 2475 of horses and money. I tell you for good will, look
FTLN 247680 you. You are wise, and full of gibes and vlouting-stocks,
FTLN 2477 and ’tis not convenient you should be cozened.
FTLN 2478 Fare you well. editorial emendationHe exits.editorial emendation

171
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 4. SC. 5

Enter editorial emendationDoctoreditorial emendation Caius.

DOCTOR CAIUS  FTLN 2479Vere is mine Host de Jarteer?
HOST  FTLN 2480Here, Master Doctor, in perplexity and doubtful
FTLN 248185 dilemma.
DOCTOR CAIUS  FTLN 2482I cannot tell vat is dat. But it is tell-a me
FTLN 2483 dat you make grand preparation for a duke de
FTLN 2484 Jamanie. By my trot, dere is no duke that the court
FTLN 2485 is know to come. I tell you for good will. Adieu.
editorial emendationHe exits.editorial emendation
HOST , editorial emendationto Bardolpheditorial emendation  FTLN 248690Hue and cry, villain, go!—Assist
FTLN 2487 me, knight. I am undone.—Fly, run; hue and cry,
FTLN 2488 villain! I am undone. editorial emendationHost and Bardolph exit.editorial emendation
FALSTAFF  FTLN 2489I would all the world might be cozened, for I
FTLN 2490 have been cozened and beaten too. If it should
FTLN 249195 come to the ear of the court how I have been transformed,
FTLN 2492 and how my transformation hath been
FTLN 2493 washed and cudgeled, they would melt me out of
FTLN 2494 my fat drop by drop, and liquor fishermen’s boots
FTLN 2495 with me. I warrant they would whip me with their
FTLN 2496100 fine wits till I were as crestfallen as a dried pear. I
FTLN 2497 never prospered since I forswore myself at
FTLN 2498 primero. Well, if my wind were but long enough, I
FTLN 2499 would repent.

Enter editorial emendationMistresseditorial emendation Quickly.

FTLN 2500 Now, whence come you?
MISTRESS QUICKLY  FTLN 2501105From the two parties, forsooth.
FALSTAFF  FTLN 2502The devil take one party, and his dam the
FTLN 2503 other, and so they shall be both bestowed. I have
FTLN 2504 suffered more for their sakes, more than the villainous
FTLN 2505 inconstancy of man’s disposition is able to
FTLN 2506110 bear.
MISTRESS QUICKLY  FTLN 2507And have not they suffered? Yes, I
FTLN 2508 warrant, speciously one of them. Mistress Ford,

173
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 4. SC. 6

FTLN 2509 good heart, is beaten black and blue that you cannot
FTLN 2510 see a white spot about her.
FALSTAFF  FTLN 2511115What tell’st thou me of black and blue? I was
FTLN 2512 beaten myself into all the colors of the rainbow,
FTLN 2513 and I was like to be apprehended for the witch of
FTLN 2514 Brentford. But that my admirable dexterity of wit,
FTLN 2515 my counterfeiting the action of an old woman, delivered
FTLN 2516120 me, the knave constable had set me i’ th’
FTLN 2517 stocks, i’ th’ common stocks, for a witch.
MISTRESS QUICKLY  FTLN 2518Sir, let me speak with you in your
FTLN 2519 chamber. You shall hear how things go, and, I warrant,
FTLN 2520 to your content. Here is a letter will say
FTLN 2521125 somewhat.  editorial emendationShe gives him a paper.editorial emendation Good hearts,
FTLN 2522 what ado here is to bring you together! Sure, one
FTLN 2523 of you does not serve heaven well, that you are so
FTLN 2524 crossed.
FALSTAFF  FTLN 2525Come up into my chamber.
They exit.


Scene 6
Enter Fenton editorial emendationandeditorial emendation Host.

HOST  FTLN 2526Master Fenton, talk not to me. My mind is
FTLN 2527 heavy. I will give over all.
FENTON 
FTLN 2528 Yet hear me speak. Assist me in my purpose,
FTLN 2529 And, as I am a gentleman, I’ll give thee
FTLN 25305 A hundred pound in gold more than your loss.
HOST  FTLN 2531I will hear you, Master Fenton, and I will, at the
FTLN 2532 least, keep your counsel.
FENTON 
FTLN 2533 From time to time I have acquainted you
FTLN 2534 With the dear love I bear to fair Anne Page,
FTLN 253510 Who mutually hath answered my affection,
FTLN 2536 So far forth as herself might be her chooser,

175
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 4. SC. 6

FTLN 2537 Even to my wish. I have a letter from her
FTLN 2538 Of such contents as you will wonder at,
FTLN 2539 The mirth whereof so larded with my matter
FTLN 254015 That neither singly can be manifested
FTLN 2541 Without the show of both. Fat Falstaff
FTLN 2542 Hath a great scene; the image of the jest
FTLN 2543 I’ll show you here at large.  editorial emendationHe shows the Host a
 paper.editorial emendation 
FTLN 2544Hark, good mine Host:
FTLN 254520 Tonight at Herne’s oak, just ’twixt twelve and one,
FTLN 2546 Must my sweet Nan present the Fairy Queen—
FTLN 2547 The purpose why is here—in which disguise,
FTLN 2548 While other jests are something rank on foot,
FTLN 2549 Her father hath commanded her to slip
FTLN 255025 Away with Slender, and with him at Eton
FTLN 2551 Immediately to marry. She hath consented. Now, sir,
FTLN 2552 Her mother, editorial emendationevereditorial emendation strong against that match
FTLN 2553 And firm for Doctor Caius, hath appointed
FTLN 2554 That he shall likewise shuffle her away,
FTLN 255530 While other sports are tasking of their minds,
FTLN 2556 And at the dean’ry, where a priest attends,
FTLN 2557 Straight marry her. To this her mother’s plot
FTLN 2558 She, seemingly obedient, likewise hath
FTLN 2559 Made promise to the doctor. Now, thus it rests:
FTLN 256035 Her father means she shall be all in white,
FTLN 2561 And in that habit, when Slender sees his time
FTLN 2562 To take her by the hand and bid her go,
FTLN 2563 She shall go with him. Her mother hath intended
FTLN 2564 The better to editorial emendationdenoteeditorial emendation her to the doctor—
FTLN 256540 For they must all be masked and vizarded—
FTLN 2566 That quaint in green she shall be loose enrobed,
FTLN 2567 With ribbons pendent flaring ’bout her head;
FTLN 2568 And when the doctor spies his vantage ripe,
FTLN 2569 To pinch her by the hand, and on that token
FTLN 257045 The maid hath given consent to go with him.

177
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 4. SC. 6

HOST 
FTLN 2571 Which means she to deceive, father or mother?
FENTON 
FTLN 2572 Both, my good Host, to go along with me.
FTLN 2573 And here it rests, that you’ll procure the vicar
FTLN 2574 To stay for me at church ’twixt twelve and one,
FTLN 257550 And, in the lawful name of marrying,
FTLN 2576 To give our hearts united ceremony.
HOST 
FTLN 2577 Well, husband your device. I’ll to the vicar.
FTLN 2578 Bring you the maid, you shall not lack a priest.
FENTON 
FTLN 2579 So shall I evermore be bound to thee;
FTLN 258055 Besides, I’ll make a present recompense.
They exit.




ACT 5
Scene 1
Enter editorial emendationSir Johneditorial emendation Falstaff editorial emendationand Mistresseditorial emendation Quickly.

FALSTAFF  FTLN 2581Prithee, no more prattling. Go. I’ll hold. This
FTLN 2582 is the third time; I hope good luck lies in odd numbers.
FTLN 2583 Away, go. They say there is divinity in odd
FTLN 2584 numbers, either in nativity, chance, or death.
FTLN 25855 Away.
MISTRESS QUICKLY  FTLN 2586I’ll provide you a chain, and I’ll do
FTLN 2587 what I can to get you a pair of horns.
FALSTAFF  FTLN 2588Away, I say! Time wears. Hold up your head,
FTLN 2589 and mince. editorial emendationMistress Quickly exits.editorial emendation

Enter Ford editorial emendationdisguised as Brook.editorial emendation

FTLN 259010 How now, Master editorial emendationBrook!editorial emendation Master editorial emendationBrook,editorial emendation the
FTLN 2591 matter will be known tonight or never. Be you in
FTLN 2592 the park about midnight, at Herne’s oak, and you
FTLN 2593 shall see wonders.
FORD , editorial emendationas Brookeditorial emendation  FTLN 2594Went you not to her yesterday, sir, as
FTLN 259515 you told me you had appointed?
FALSTAFF  FTLN 2596I went to her, Master editorial emendationBrook,editorial emendation as you see,
FTLN 2597 like a poor old man, but I came from her, Master
FTLN 2598 editorial emendationBrook,editorial emendation like a poor old woman. That same knave
FTLN 2599 Ford, her husband, hath the finest mad devil of
FTLN 260020 jealousy in him, Master editorial emendationBrook,editorial emendation that ever governed
FTLN 2601 frenzy. I will tell you, he beat me grievously,
FTLN 2602 in the shape of a woman; for in the shape of man,
181

183
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 5. SC. 3

FTLN 2603 Master editorial emendationBrook,editorial emendation I fear not Goliath with a weaver’s
FTLN 2604 beam, because I know also life is a shuttle. I am in
FTLN 260525 haste. Go along with me; I’ll tell you all, Master
FTLN 2606 editorial emendationBrook.editorial emendation Since I plucked geese, played truant, and
FTLN 2607 whipped top, I knew not what ’twas to be beaten
FTLN 2608 till lately. Follow me. I’ll tell you strange things of
FTLN 2609 this knave Ford, on whom tonight I will be revenged,
FTLN 261030 and I will deliver his wife into your hand.
FTLN 2611 Follow. Strange things in hand, Master editorial emendationBrook!editorial emendation
FTLN 2612 Follow.
They exit.


Scene 2
Enter Page, Shallow, editorial emendationandeditorial emendation Slender.

PAGE  FTLN 2613Come, come. We’ll couch i’ th’ castle ditch till we
FTLN 2614 see the light of our fairies.—Remember, son Slender,
FTLN 2615 my—
SLENDER  FTLN 2616Ay, forsooth, I have spoke with her, and we
FTLN 26175 have a nayword how to know one another. I come
FTLN 2618 to her in white and cry “mum,” she cries “budget,”
FTLN 2619 and by that we know one another.
SHALLOW  FTLN 2620That’s good too. But what needs either your
FTLN 2621 “mum” or her “budget”? The white will decipher
FTLN 262210 her well enough. It hath struck ten o’clock.
PAGE  FTLN 2623The night is dark. Light and spirits will become
FTLN 2624 it well. Heaven prosper our sport! No man means
FTLN 2625 evil but the devil, and we shall know him by his
FTLN 2626 horns. Let’s away. Follow me.
They exit.


Scene 3
Enter Mistress Page, Mistress Ford, editorial emendationand Doctoreditorial emendation Caius.

MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 2627Master Doctor, my daughter is in
FTLN 2628 green. When you see your time, take her by the

185
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 5. SC. 4

FTLN 2629 hand; away with her to the deanery, and dispatch
FTLN 2630 it quickly. Go before into the park. We two must go
FTLN 26315 together.
DOCTOR CAIUS  FTLN 2632I know vat I have to do. Adieu.
MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 2633Fare you well, sir. editorial emendationCaius exits.editorial emendation
FTLN 2634 My husband will not rejoice so much at the abuse
FTLN 2635 of Falstaff as he will chafe at the doctor’s marrying
FTLN 263610 my daughter. But ’tis no matter. Better a little chiding
FTLN 2637 than a great deal of heartbreak.
MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 2638Where is Nan now, and her troop of
FTLN 2639 fairies, and the Welsh devil editorial emendationHugh?editorial emendation
MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 2640They are all couched in a pit hard by
FTLN 264115 Herne’s oak, with obscured lights, which, at the
FTLN 2642 very instant of Falstaff’s and our meeting, they will
FTLN 2643 at once display to the night.
MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 2644That cannot choose but amaze him.
MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 2645If he be not amazed, he will be
FTLN 264620 mocked. If he be amazed, he will every way be
FTLN 2647 mocked.
MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 2648We’ll betray him finely.
MISTRESS PAGE 
FTLN 2649 Against such lewdsters and their lechery,
FTLN 2650 Those that betray them do no treachery.
MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 265125The hour draws on. To the oak, to the
FTLN 2652 oak!
They exit.


Scene 4
Enter editorial emendationSir Hugheditorial emendation Evans and editorial emendationboys disguised,
like him, aseditorial emendation Fairies.


SIR HUGH  FTLN 2653Trib, trib, fairies! Come, and remember
FTLN 2654 your parts. Be pold, I pray you. Follow me into the
FTLN 2655 pit, and when I give the watch-’ords, do as I pid
FTLN 2656 you. Come, come; trib, trib. They exit.




187
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 5. SC. 5

Scene 5
Enter editorial emendationSir Johneditorial emendation Falstaff editorial emendationwearing a buck’s head.editorial emendation

FALSTAFF  FTLN 2657The Windsor bell hath struck twelve. The
FTLN 2658 minute draws on. Now, the editorial emendationhot-bloodededitorial emendation gods assist
FTLN 2659 me! Remember, Jove, thou wast a bull for thy
FTLN 2660 Europa; love set on thy horns. O powerful love,
FTLN 26615 that in some respects makes a beast a man, in
FTLN 2662 some other a man a beast! You were also, Jupiter,
FTLN 2663 a swan for the love of Leda. O omnipotent love,
FTLN 2664 how near the god drew to the complexion of a
FTLN 2665 goose! A fault done first in the form of a beast; O
FTLN 266610 Jove, a beastly fault! And then another fault in the
FTLN 2667 semblance of a fowl; think on ’t, Jove, a foul fault.
FTLN 2668 When gods have hot backs, what shall poor men
FTLN 2669 do? For me, I am here a Windsor stag, and the fattest,
FTLN 2670 I think, i’ th’ forest. Send me a cool rut-time,
FTLN 267115 Jove, or who can blame me to piss my tallow?

Enter Mistress Page editorial emendationandeditorial emendation Mistress Ford.

FTLN 2672 Who comes here? My doe?
MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 2673Sir John? Art thou there, my deer, my
FTLN 2674 male deer?
FALSTAFF  FTLN 2675My doe with the black scut! Let the sky rain
FTLN 267620 potatoes, let it thunder to the tune of “Greensleeves,”
FTLN 2677 hail kissing-comfits, and snow eryngoes; let there
FTLN 2678 come a tempest of provocation, I will shelter me
FTLN 2679 here. editorial emendationHe embraces her.editorial emendation
MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 2680Mistress Page is come with me,
FTLN 268125 sweetheart.
FALSTAFF  FTLN 2682Divide me like a bribed buck, each a haunch.
FTLN 2683 I will keep my sides to myself, my shoulders for
FTLN 2684 the fellow of this walk, and my horns I bequeath
FTLN 2685 your husbands. Am I a woodman, ha? Speak I like
FTLN 268630 Herne the Hunter? Why, now is Cupid a child of
FTLN 2687 conscience; he makes restitution. As I am a true
FTLN 2688 spirit, welcome. editorial emendationA noise of horns within.editorial emendation

189
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 5. SC. 5

MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 2689Alas, what noise?
MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 2690Heaven forgive our sins!
FALSTAFF  FTLN 269135What should this be?
MISTRESS FORD and MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 2692Away, away.
editorial emendationThe two women run off.editorial emendation
FALSTAFF  FTLN 2693I think the devil will not have me damned,
FTLN 2694 lest the oil that’s in me should set hell on fire. He
FTLN 2695 would never else cross me thus.

Enter editorial emendationMistresseditorial emendation Quickly, Pistol, editorial emendationSir Hugheditorial emendation Evans,
Anne Page editorial emendationand boys, all disguised aseditorial emendation Fairies editorial emendationand
carrying tapers.editorial emendation


MISTRESS QUICKLY , editorial emendationas Fairy Queeneditorial emendation 
FTLN 269640 Fairies black, gray, green, and white,
FTLN 2697 You moonshine revelers and shades of night,
FTLN 2698 You orphan heirs of fixèd destiny,
FTLN 2699 Attend your office and your quality.
FTLN 2700 Crier Hobgoblin, make the fairy oyes.
PISTOL , editorial emendationas Hobgoblineditorial emendation 
FTLN 270145 Elves, list your names. Silence, you airy toys!—
FTLN 2702 Cricket, to Windsor chimneys shalt thou leap,
FTLN 2703 Where fires thou find’st unraked and hearths
FTLN 2704 unswept.
FTLN 2705 There pinch the maids as blue as bilberry.
FTLN 270650 Our radiant queen hates sluts and sluttery.
FALSTAFF , editorial emendationasideeditorial emendation 
FTLN 2707 They are fairies. He that speaks to them shall die.
FTLN 2708 I’ll wink and couch. No man their works must eye.
editorial emendationHe crouches down and covers his eyes.editorial emendation
SIR HUGH , editorial emendationas a fairyeditorial emendation 
FTLN 2709 Where’s Bead? Go you, and where you find a maid
FTLN 2710 That ere she sleep has thrice her prayers said,
FTLN 271155 Raise up the organs of her fantasy;
FTLN 2712 Sleep she as sound as careless infancy.
FTLN 2713 But those as sleep and think not on their sins,
FTLN 2714 Pinch them, arms, legs, backs, shoulders, sides, and
FTLN 2715 shins.

191
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 5. SC. 5

MISTRESS QUICKLY , editorial emendationas Fairy Queeneditorial emendation  FTLN 271660About, about!
FTLN 2717 Search Windsor Castle, elves, within and out.
FTLN 2718 Strew good luck, aufs, on every sacred room,
FTLN 2719 That it may stand till the perpetual doom
FTLN 2720 In state as wholesome as in state ’tis fit,
FTLN 272165 Worthy the owner, and the owner it.
FTLN 2722 The several chairs of order look you scour
FTLN 2723 With juice of balm and every precious flower.
FTLN 2724 Each fair installment, coat, and sev’ral crest
FTLN 2725 With loyal blazon evermore be blest!
FTLN 272670 And nightly, meadow fairies, look you sing,
FTLN 2727 Like to the Garter’s compass, in a ring.
FTLN 2728 Th’ expressure that it bears, green let it be,
FTLN 2729 editorial emendationMoreeditorial emendation fertile-fresh than all the field to see;
FTLN 2730 And Honi soit qui mal y pense write
FTLN 273175 In em’rald tufts, flowers purple, blue, and white,
FTLN 2732 Like sapphire, pearl, and rich embroidery,
FTLN 2733 Buckled below fair knighthood’s bending knee.
FTLN 2734 Fairies use flowers for their charactery.
FTLN 2735 Away, disperse! But till ’tis one o’clock,
FTLN 273680 Our dance of custom round about the oak
FTLN 2737 Of Herne the Hunter let us not forget.
SIR HUGH , editorial emendationas a fairyeditorial emendation 
FTLN 2738 Pray you, lock hand in hand. Yourselves in order set;
FTLN 2739 And twenty glowworms shall our lanterns be,
FTLN 2740 To guide our measure round about the tree.
FTLN 274185 But stay! I smell a man of Middle Earth.
FALSTAFF , editorial emendationasideeditorial emendation  FTLN 2742Heavens defend me from that Welsh
FTLN 2743 fairy, lest he transform me to a piece of cheese.
PISTOL , editorial emendationas Hobgoblin, to Falstaffeditorial emendation 
FTLN 2744 Vile worm, thou wast o’erlooked even in thy birth.
MISTRESS QUICKLY , editorial emendationas Fairy Queen, to Sir Hugheditorial emendation 
FTLN 2745 With trial-fire touch me his finger-end.
FTLN 274690 If he be chaste, the flame will back descend
FTLN 2747 And turn him to no pain. But if he start,
FTLN 2748 It is the flesh of a corrupted heart.

193
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 5. SC. 5

PISTOL , editorial emendationas Hobgoblineditorial emendation 
FTLN 2749 A trial, come!
SIR HUGH , editorial emendationas a fairyeditorial emendation  FTLN 2750 Come, will this wood take fire?
editorial emendationSir Hugh puts a taper to Falstaff’s finger, and he starts.editorial emendation
FALSTAFF  FTLN 275195O, O, O!
MISTRESS QUICKLY , editorial emendationas Fairy Queeneditorial emendation 
FTLN 2752 Corrupt, corrupt, and tainted in desire!
FTLN 2753 About him, fairies. Sing a scornful rhyme,
FTLN 2754 And, as you trip, still pinch him to your time.

editorial emendationHere they pinch him and sing about him, and Doctor
Caius comes one way and steals away a boy in white.
And Slender comes another way; he takes a boy in
green. And Fenton
 steals Mistress Anne Page.editorial emendation


editorial emendationFAIRIES  singeditorial emendation 
FTLN 2755 Fie on sinful fantasy!
FTLN 2756100 Fie on lust and luxury!
FTLN 2757 Lust is but a bloody fire
FTLN 2758 Kindled with unchaste desire,
FTLN 2759 Fed in heart whose flames aspire
FTLN 2760 As thoughts do blow them higher and higher.
FTLN 2761105 Pinch him, fairies, mutually;
FTLN 2762 Pinch him for his villainy.

FTLN 2763 Pinch him and burn him and turn him about,
FTLN 2764 Till candles and starlight and moonshine be out.

editorial emendationA noise of hunting is made within, and all the fairies
run away from Falstaff, who pulls off his buck’s head
and rises up.editorial emendation
 Enter Page, editorial emendationMistress Page,
Mistress Ford andeditorial emendation Ford.


PAGE , editorial emendationto Falstaffeditorial emendation 
FTLN 2765 Nay, do not fly. I think we have watched you now.
FTLN 2766110 Will none but Herne the Hunter serve your turn?
MISTRESS PAGE 
FTLN 2767 I pray you, come, hold up the jest no higher.—
FTLN 2768 Now, good Sir John, how like you Windsor wives?

195
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 5. SC. 5

editorial emendationShe points to the horns.editorial emendation
FTLN 2769 See you these, husband? Do not these fair yokes
FTLN 2770 Become the forest better than the town?
FORD , editorial emendationto Falstaffeditorial emendation  FTLN 2771115Now, sir, who’s a cuckold now?
FTLN 2772 Master editorial emendationBrook,editorial emendation Falstaff’s a knave, a cuckoldly
FTLN 2773 knave. Here are his horns, Master editorial emendationBrook.editorial emendation And,
FTLN 2774 Master editorial emendationBrook,editorial emendation he hath enjoyed nothing of Ford’s
FTLN 2775 but his buck-basket, his cudgel, and twenty
FTLN 2776120 pounds of money, which must be paid to Master
FTLN 2777 editorial emendationBrook.editorial emendation His horses are arrested for it, Master
FTLN 2778 editorial emendationBrook.editorial emendation
MISTRESS FORD  FTLN 2779Sir John, we have had ill luck. We
FTLN 2780 could never meet. I will never take you for my love
FTLN 2781125 again, but I will always count you my deer.
FALSTAFF  FTLN 2782I do begin to perceive that I am made an ass.
FORD  FTLN 2783Ay, and an ox too. Both the proofs are extant.
FALSTAFF  FTLN 2784And these are not fairies. I was three or four
FTLN 2785 times in the thought they were not fairies; and yet
FTLN 2786130 the guiltiness of my mind, the sudden surprise of
FTLN 2787 my powers, drove the grossness of the foppery into
FTLN 2788 a received belief, in despite of the teeth of all
FTLN 2789 rhyme and reason, that they were fairies. See now
FTLN 2790 how wit may be made a Jack-a-Lent when ’tis upon
FTLN 2791135 ill employment.
SIR HUGH  FTLN 2792Sir John Falstaff, serve Got and leave your
FTLN 2793 desires, and fairies will not pinse you.
FORD  FTLN 2794Well said, Fairy Hugh.
SIR HUGH  FTLN 2795And leave you your jealousies too, I pray
FTLN 2796140 you.
FORD  FTLN 2797I will never mistrust my wife again till thou art
FTLN 2798 able to woo her in good English.
FALSTAFF  FTLN 2799Have I laid my brain in the sun and dried it,
FTLN 2800 that it wants matter to prevent so gross o’erreaching
FTLN 2801145 as this? Am I ridden with a Welsh goat too?
FTLN 2802 Shall I have a coxcomb of frieze? ’Tis time I were
FTLN 2803 choked with a piece of toasted cheese.

197
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 5. SC. 5

SIR HUGH  FTLN 2804Seese is not good to give putter. Your belly is
FTLN 2805 all putter.
FALSTAFF  FTLN 2806150“Seese” and “putter”? Have I lived to stand at
FTLN 2807 the taunt of one that makes fritters of English?
FTLN 2808 This is enough to be the decay of lust and late
FTLN 2809 walking through the realm.
MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 2810Why, Sir John, do you think though we
FTLN 2811155 would have thrust virtue out of our hearts by the
FTLN 2812 head and shoulders, and have given ourselves
FTLN 2813 without scruple to hell, that ever the devil could
FTLN 2814 have made you our delight?
FORD  FTLN 2815What, a hodge-pudding? A bag of flax?
MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 2816160A puffed man?
PAGE  FTLN 2817Old, cold, withered, and of intolerable entrails?
FORD  FTLN 2818And one that is as slanderous as Satan?
PAGE  FTLN 2819And as poor as Job?
FORD  FTLN 2820And as wicked as his wife?
SIR HUGH  FTLN 2821165And given to fornications, and to taverns,
FTLN 2822 and sack, and wine, and metheglins, and to drinkings
FTLN 2823 and swearings and starings, pribbles and
FTLN 2824 prabbles?
FALSTAFF  FTLN 2825Well, I am your theme. You have the start of
FTLN 2826170 me. I am dejected. I am not able to answer the
FTLN 2827 Welsh flannel. Ignorance itself is a plummet o’er
FTLN 2828 me. Use me as you will.
FORD  FTLN 2829Marry, sir, we’ll bring you to Windsor to one
FTLN 2830 Master editorial emendationBrook,editorial emendation that you have cozened of money,
FTLN 2831175 to whom you should have been a pander. Over and
FTLN 2832 above that you have suffered, I think to repay that
FTLN 2833 money will be a biting affliction.
PAGE  FTLN 2834Yet be cheerful, knight. Thou shalt eat a posset
FTLN 2835 tonight at my house, where I will desire thee to
FTLN 2836180 laugh at my wife, that now laughs at thee. Tell her
FTLN 2837 Master Slender hath married her daughter.
MISTRESS PAGE , editorial emendationasideeditorial emendation  FTLN 2838Doctors doubt that. If Anne
FTLN 2839 Page be my daughter, she is, by this, Doctor Caius’
FTLN 2840 wife.

199
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 5. SC. 5

Enter Slender.

SLENDER  FTLN 2841185Whoa, ho, ho, Father Page!
PAGE  FTLN 2842Son, how now! How now, son! Have you
FTLN 2843 dispatched?
SLENDER  FTLN 2844“Dispatched”? I’ll make the best in Gloucestershire
FTLN 2845 know on ’t. Would I were hanged, la, else!
PAGE  FTLN 2846190Of what, son?
SLENDER  FTLN 2847I came yonder at Eton to marry Mistress
FTLN 2848 Anne Page, and she’s a great lubberly boy. If it had
FTLN 2849 not been i’ th’ church, I would have swinged him,
FTLN 2850 or he should have swinged me. If I did not think it
FTLN 2851195 had been Anne Page, would I might never stir! And
FTLN 2852 ’tis a post-master’s boy.
PAGE  FTLN 2853Upon my life, then, you took the wrong—
SLENDER  FTLN 2854What need you tell me that? I think so, when
FTLN 2855 I took a boy for a girl. If I had been married to him,
FTLN 2856200 for all he was in woman’s apparel, I would not
FTLN 2857 have had him.
PAGE  FTLN 2858Why, this is your own folly. Did not I tell you
FTLN 2859 how you should know my daughter by her
FTLN 2860 garments?
SLENDER  FTLN 2861205I went to her in editorial emendationwhite,editorial emendation and cried “mum,”
FTLN 2862 and she cried “budget,” as Anne and I had appointed,
FTLN 2863 and yet it was not Anne, but a post-master’s
FTLN 2864 boy.
MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 2865Good George, be not angry. I knew of
FTLN 2866210 your purpose, turned my daughter into editorial emendationgreen,editorial emendation
FTLN 2867 and indeed she is now with the doctor at the deanery,
FTLN 2868 and there married.

Enter editorial emendationDoctoreditorial emendation Caius.

DOCTOR CAIUS  FTLN 2869Vere is Mistress Page? By gar, I am cozened!
FTLN 2870 I ha’ married un garçon, a boy; un paysan, by
FTLN 2871215 gar, a boy. It is not Anne Page. By gar, I am
FTLN 2872 cozened.

201
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 5. SC. 5

MISTRESS PAGE  FTLN 2873Why? Did you take her in editorial emendationgreen?editorial emendation
DOCTOR CAIUS  FTLN 2874Ay, be gar, and ’tis a boy. Be gar, I’ll raise
FTLN 2875 all Windsor.
FORD  FTLN 2876220This is strange. Who hath got the right Anne?

Enter Fenton and Anne Page.

PAGE  FTLN 2877My heart misgives me. Here comes Master Fenton.—
FTLN 2878 How now, Master Fenton!
ANNE  FTLN 2879Pardon, good father. Good my mother, pardon.
PAGE  FTLN 2880Now, mistress, how chance you went not with
FTLN 2881225 Master Slender?
MISTRESS PAGE 
FTLN 2882 Why went you not with Master Doctor, maid?
FENTON 
FTLN 2883 You do amaze her. Hear the truth of it.
FTLN 2884 You would have married her most shamefully,
FTLN 2885 Where there was no proportion held in love.
FTLN 2886230 The truth is, she and I, long since contracted,
FTLN 2887 Are now so sure that nothing can dissolve us.
FTLN 2888 Th’ offense is holy that she hath committed,
FTLN 2889 And this deceit loses the name of craft,
FTLN 2890 Of disobedience, or unduteous title,
FTLN 2891235 Since therein she doth evitate and shun
FTLN 2892 A thousand irreligious cursèd hours
FTLN 2893 Which forcèd marriage would have brought upon her.
FORD , editorial emendationto Page and Mistress Pageeditorial emendation 
FTLN 2894 Stand not amazed. Here is no remedy.
FTLN 2895 In love the heavens themselves do guide the state.
FTLN 2896240 Money buys lands, and wives are sold by fate.
FALSTAFF  FTLN 2897I am glad, though you have ta’en a special
FTLN 2898 stand to strike at me, that your arrow hath
FTLN 2899 glanced.
PAGE 
FTLN 2900 Well, what remedy? Fenton, heaven give thee joy.
FTLN 2901245 What cannot be eschewed must be embraced.

203
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 5. SC. 5

FALSTAFF 
FTLN 2902 When night-dogs run, all sorts of deer are chased.
MISTRESS PAGE 
FTLN 2903 Well, I will muse no further.—Master Fenton,
FTLN 2904 Heaven give you many, many merry days.—
FTLN 2905 Good husband, let us every one go home
FTLN 2906250 And laugh this sport o’er by a country fire—
FTLN 2907 Sir John and all.
FORD  FTLN 2908 Let it be so, Sir John.
FTLN 2909 To Master editorial emendationBrookeditorial emendation you yet shall hold your word,
FTLN 2910 For he tonight shall lie with Mistress Ford.
They exit.