Folger Shakespeare Library

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Contents

Front Matter |
ACT 1 |
ACT 2 |
ACT 3 |
ACT 4 |
ACT 5 |

From the Director of the Folger Shakespeare Library

It is hard to imagine a world without Shakespeare. Since their composition four hundred years ago, Shakespeare’s plays and poems have traveled the globe, inviting those who see and read his works to make them their own.

Readers of the New Folger Editions are part of this ongoing process of “taking up Shakespeare,” finding our own thoughts and feelings in language that strikes us as old or unusual and, for that very reason, new. We still struggle to keep up with a writer who could think a mile a minute, whose words paint pictures that shift like clouds. These expertly edited texts are presented to the public as a resource for study, artistic adaptation, and enjoyment. By making the classic texts of the New Folger Editions available in electronic form as Folger Digital Texts, we place a trusted resource in the hands of anyone who wants them.

The New Folger Editions of Shakespeare’s plays, which are the basis for the texts realized here in digital form, are special because of their origin. The Folger Shakespeare Library in Washington, DC, is the single greatest documentary source of Shakespeare’s works. An unparalleled collection of early modern books, manuscripts, and artwork connected to Shakespeare, the Folger’s holdings have been consulted extensively in the preparation of these texts. The Editions also reflect the expertise gained through the regular performance of Shakespeare’s works in the Folger’s Elizabethan Theater.

I want to express my deep thanks to editors Barbara Mowat and Paul Werstine for creating these indispensable editions of Shakespeare’s works, which incorporate the best of textual scholarship with a richness of commentary that is both inspired and engaging. Readers who want to know more about Shakespeare and his plays can follow the paths these distinguished scholars have tread by visiting the Folger either in-person or online, where a range of physical and digital resources exists to supplement the material in these texts. I commend to you these words, and hope that they inspire.

Michael Witmore
Director, Folger Shakespeare Library

Textual Introduction
By Barbara Mowat and Paul Werstine

Until now, with the release of the Folger Digital Texts, readers in search of a free online text of Shakespeare’s plays had to be content primarily with using the Moby™ Text, which reproduces a late-nineteenth century version of the plays. What is the difference? Many ordinary readers assume that there is a single text for the plays: what Shakespeare wrote. But Shakespeare’s plays were not published the way modern novels or plays are published today: as a single, authoritative text. In some cases, the plays have come down to us in multiple published versions, represented by various Quartos (Qq) and by the great collection put together by his colleagues in 1623, called the First Folio (F). There are, for example, three very different versions of Hamlet, two of King Lear, Henry V, Romeo and Juliet, and others. Editors choose which version to use as their base text, and then amend that text with words, lines or speech prefixes from the other versions that, in their judgment, make for a better or more accurate text.

Other editorial decisions involve choices about whether an unfamiliar word could be understood in light of other writings of the period or whether it should be changed; decisions about words that made it into Shakespeare’s text by accident through four hundred years of printings and misprinting; and even decisions based on cultural preference and taste. When the Moby™ Text was created, for example, it was deemed “improper” and “indecent” for Miranda to chastise Caliban for having attempted to rape her. (See The Tempest, 1.2: “Abhorred slave,/Which any print of goodness wilt not take,/Being capable of all ill! I pitied thee…”). All Shakespeare editors at the time took the speech away from her and gave it to her father, Prospero.

The editors of the Moby™ Shakespeare produced their text long before scholars fully understood the proper grounds on which to make the thousands of decisions that Shakespeare editors face. The Folger Library Shakespeare Editions, on which the Folger Digital Texts depend, make this editorial process as nearly transparent as is possible, in contrast to older texts, like the Moby™, which hide editorial interventions. The reader of the Folger Shakespeare knows where the text has been altered because editorial interventions are signaled by square brackets (for example, from Othello: “If she in chains of magic were not bound,”), half-square brackets (for example, from Henry V: “With blood and sword and fire to win your right,”), or angle brackets (for example, from Hamlet: “O farewell, honest soldier. Who hath relieved/you?”). At any point in the text, you can hover your cursor over a bracket for more information.

Because the Folger Digital Texts are edited in accord with twenty-first century knowledge about Shakespeare’s texts, the Folger here provides them to readers, scholars, teachers, actors, directors, and students, free of charge, confident of their quality as texts of the plays and pleased to be able to make this contribution to the study and enjoyment of Shakespeare.

Synopsis

In The Merry Wives of Windsor, fat, disreputable Sir John Falstaff pursues two housewives, Mistress Ford and Mistress Page, who outwit and humiliate him instead. Meanwhile, three suitors seek the hand of Anne Page, Mistress Page’s daughter.

Falstaff hopes to seduce the wives so he can gain access to their husbands’ wealth. Ford learns of Falstaff’s approaches and is consumed by jealousy. In disguise, he befriends Falstaff to learn about Mistress Ford’s behavior. The wives, however, trick Falstaff and Ford. As Falstaff visits Mistress Ford, Mistress Page announces that Ford is coming. Falstaff hides in a basket of dirty laundry and is thrown in the river.

Another visit ends similarly: Falstaff disguises himself as “the fat woman of Brentford,” whom Ford hates. Ford beats “her” in anger. Finally, Falstaff is lured to a comical nighttime rendezvous where all of Windsor comes together, Falstaff is publicly humiliated, and Ford admits his folly. Two of Anne Page’s suitors elope with boys in disguise while Anne marries her chosen suitor, Fenton.

Characters in the Play
Mistress Ford
Ford, her husband
John
Robert
their servants
Mistress Page
Page, her husband
Anne, their daughter
William, their son
Doctor Caius, a French doctor, suitor to Anne Page
Mistress Quickly, the doctor’s housekeeper
John Rugby, the doctor’s manservant
Sir Hugh Evans, a Welsh parson
Host of the Garter Inn
Windsor Children, disguised as fairies
Sir John Falstaff, an impoverished knight
Robin, his page
Bardolph
Pistol
Nym
Falstaff’s servants
Fenton, a gentleman, suitor to Anne Page
Robert Shallow, a visiting justice of the peace
Abraham Slender, his nephew, a young gentleman suitor to Anne Page
Simple, Slender’s servant

ACT 1
Scene 1
Enter Justice Shallow, Slender, and Sir Hugh Evans.
SHALLOW FTLN 0001 Sir Hugh, persuade me not. I will make a
FTLN 0002 Star-Chamber matter of it. If he were twenty Sir
FTLN 0003 John Falstaffs, he shall not abuse Robert Shallow,
FTLN 0004 Esquire.
SLENDER FTLN 0005 5 In the county of Gloucester, Justice of Peace
FTLN 0006 and Coram.
SHALLOW FTLN 0007 Ay, Cousin Slender, and Custalorum.
SLENDER FTLN 0008 Ay, and Ratolorum too; and a gentleman born,
FTLN 0009 Master Parson, who writes himself “Armigero”
FTLN 0010 10 in any bill, warrant, quittance, or obligation—
FTLN 0011 “Armigero!”
SHALLOW FTLN 0012 Ay, that I do, and have done any time these
FTLN 0013 three hundred years.
SLENDER FTLN 0014 All his successors gone before him hath
FTLN 0015 15 done ’t, and all his ancestors that come after him
FTLN 0016 may. They may give the dozen white luces in their
FTLN 0017 coat.
SHALLOW FTLN 0018 It is an old coat.
SIR HUGH FTLN 0019 The dozen white louses do become an old
FTLN 0020 20 coat well. It agrees well, passant. It is a familiar
FTLN 0021 beast to man and signifies love.
SHALLOW FTLN 0022 The luce is the fresh fish. The salt fish is an
FTLN 0023 old coat.
SLENDER FTLN 0024 I may quarter, coz.
7

9
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 1. SC. 1
SHALLOW FTLN 0025 25 You may, by marrying.
SIR HUGH FTLN 0026 It is marring indeed, if he quarter it.
SHALLOW FTLN 0027 Not a whit.
SIR HUGH FTLN 0028 Yes, py ’r Lady. If he has a quarter of your
FTLN 0029 coat, there is but three skirts for yourself, in my
FTLN 0030 30 simple conjectures. But that is all one. If Sir John
FTLN 0031 Falstaff have committed disparagements unto you,
FTLN 0032 I am of the Church, and will be glad to do my
FTLN 0033 benevolence to make atonements and compromises
FTLN 0034 between you.
SHALLOW FTLN 0035 35 The Council shall hear it; it is a riot.
SIR HUGH FTLN 0036 It is not meet the Council hear a riot. There
FTLN 0037 is no fear of Got in a riot. The Council, look you,
FTLN 0038 shall desire to hear the fear of Got, and not to hear
FTLN 0039 a riot. Take your visaments in that.
SHALLOW FTLN 0040 40 Ha! O’ my life, if I were young again, the
FTLN 0041 sword should end it.
SIR HUGH FTLN 0042 It is petter that friends is the sword, and end
FTLN 0043 it. And there is also another device in my prain,
FTLN 0044 which peradventure prings goot discretions with
FTLN 0045 45 it. There is Anne Page, which is daughter to Master
FTLN 0046 Thomas Page, which is pretty virginity.
SLENDER FTLN 0047 Mistress Anne Page? She has brown hair
FTLN 0048 and speaks small like a woman?
SIR HUGH FTLN 0049 It is that fery person for all the ’orld, as just
FTLN 0050 50 as you will desire. And seven hundred pounds of
FTLN 0051 moneys, and gold, and silver, is her grandsire upon
FTLN 0052 his death’s-bed (Got deliver to a joyful resurrections!)
FTLN 0053 give, when she is able to overtake seventeen
FTLN 0054 years old. It were a goot motion if we leave our
FTLN 0055 55 pribbles and prabbles, and desire a marriage between
FTLN 0056 Master Abraham and Mistress Anne Page.
SLENDER FTLN 0057 Did her grandsire leave her seven hundred
FTLN 0058 pound?
SIR HUGH FTLN 0059 Ay, and her father is make her a petter
FTLN 0060 60 penny.

11
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 1. SC. 1
SLENDER FTLN 0061 I know the young gentlewoman. She has
FTLN 0062 good gifts.
SIR HUGH FTLN 0063 Seven hundred pounds and possibilities is
FTLN 0064 goot gifts.
SHALLOW FTLN 0065 65 Well, let us see honest Master Page. Is Falstaff
FTLN 0066 there?
SIR HUGH FTLN 0067 Shall I tell you a lie? I do despise a liar as I
FTLN 0068 do despise one that is false, or as I despise one that
FTLN 0069 is not true. The knight Sir John is there, and I beseech
FTLN 0070 70 you be ruled by your well-willers. I will peat
FTLN 0071 the door for Master Page. He knocks. What ho?
FTLN 0072 Got pless your house here.
PAGE , within FTLN 0073 Who’s there?
SIR HUGH FTLN 0074 Here is Got’s plessing, and your friend, and
FTLN 0075 75 Justice Shallow, and here young Master Slender,
FTLN 0076 that peradventures shall tell you another tale, if
FTLN 0077 matters grow to your likings.
Enter Master Page.
PAGE FTLN 0078 I am glad to see your Worships well. I thank you
FTLN 0079 for my venison, Master Shallow.
SHALLOW FTLN 0080 80 Master Page, I am glad to see you. Much
FTLN 0081 good do it your good heart! I wished your venison
FTLN 0082 better; it was ill killed. How doth good Mistress
FTLN 0083 Page? And I thank you always with my heart, la,
FTLN 0084 with my heart.
PAGE FTLN 0085 85 Sir, I thank you.
SHALLOW FTLN 0086 Sir, I thank you; by yea and no, I do.
PAGE FTLN 0087 I am glad to see you, good Master Slender.
SLENDER FTLN 0088 How does your fallow greyhound, sir? I
FTLN 0089 heard say he was outrun on Cotsall.
PAGE FTLN 0090 90 It could not be judged, sir.
SLENDER FTLN 0091 You’ll not confess, you’ll not confess.
SHALLOW FTLN 0092 That he will not. ’Tis your fault, ’tis your
FTLN 0093 fault. ’Tis a good dog.
PAGE FTLN 0094 A cur, sir.

13
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 1. SC. 1
SHALLOW FTLN 0095 95 Sir, he’s a good dog and a fair dog. Can there
FTLN 0096 be more said? He is good and fair. Is Sir John Falstaff
FTLN 0097 here?
PAGE FTLN 0098 Sir, he is within, and I would I could do a good
FTLN 0099 office between you.
SIR HUGH FTLN 0100 100 It is spoke as a Christians ought to speak.
SHALLOW FTLN 0101 He hath wronged me, Master Page.
PAGE FTLN 0102 Sir, he doth in some sort confess it.
SHALLOW FTLN 0103 If it be confessed, it is not redressed. Is not
FTLN 0104 that so, Master Page? He hath wronged me, indeed
FTLN 0105 105 he hath; at a word, he hath. Believe me. Robert
FTLN 0106 Shallow, Esquire, saith he is wronged.
Enter Sir John Falstaff, Bardolph, Nym, and Pistol.
PAGE FTLN 0107 Here comes Sir John.
FALSTAFF FTLN 0108 Now, Master Shallow, you’ll complain of me
FTLN 0109 to the King?
SHALLOW FTLN 0110 110 Knight, you have beaten my men, killed my
FTLN 0111 deer, and broke open my lodge.
FALSTAFF FTLN 0112 But not kissed your keeper’s daughter.
SHALLOW FTLN 0113 Tut, a pin. This shall be answered.
FALSTAFF FTLN 0114 I will answer it straight: I have done all this.
FTLN 0115 115 That is now answered.
SHALLOW FTLN 0116 The Council shall know this.
FALSTAFF FTLN 0117’Twere better for you if it were known in
FTLN 0118 counsel. You’ll be laughed at.
SIR HUGH FTLN 0119 Pauca verba, Sir John, good worts.
FALSTAFF FTLN 0120 120 Good worts? Good cabbage!—Slender, I
FTLN 0121 broke your head. What matter have you against
FTLN 0122 me?
SLENDER FTLN 0123 Marry, sir, I have matter in my head against
FTLN 0124 you and against your cony-catching rascals, Bardolph,
FTLN 0125 125 Nym, and Pistol.
BARDOLPH FTLN 0126 You Banbury cheese!
SLENDER FTLN 0127 Ay, it is no matter.
PISTOL FTLN 0128 How now, Mephostophilus?

15
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 1. SC. 1
SLENDER FTLN 0129 Ay, it is no matter.
NYM FTLN 0130 130 Slice, I say! Pauca, pauca. Slice, that’s my humor.
SLENDER , (to Shallow) FTLN 0131 Where’s Simple, my man?
FTLN 0132 Can you tell, cousin?
SIR HUGH FTLN 0133 Peace, I pray you. Now let us understand;
FTLN 0134 there is three umpires in this matter, as I understand:
FTLN 0135 135 that is, Master Page (fidelicet Master Page);
FTLN 0136 and there is myself (fidelicet myself); and the three
FTLN 0137 party is, lastly and finally, mine Host of the Garter.
PAGE FTLN 0138 We three to hear it and end it between them.
SIR HUGH FTLN 0139 Fery goot. I will make a prief of it in my
FTLN 0140 140 notebook, and we will afterwards ’ork upon the
FTLN 0141 cause with as great discreetly as we can.
FALSTAFF FTLN 0142 Pistol.
PISTOL FTLN 0143 He hears with ears.
SIR HUGH FTLN 0144 The tevil and his tam! What phrase is this,
FTLN 0145 145 “He hears with ear”? Why, it is affectations.
FALSTAFF FTLN 0146 Pistol, did you pick Master Slender’s purse?
SLENDER FTLN 0147 Ay, by these gloves, did he—or I would I
FTLN 0148 might never come in mine own great chamber
FTLN 0149 again else—of seven groats in mill-sixpences,
FTLN 0150 150 and two Edward shovel-boards that cost me two
FTLN 0151 shilling and twopence apiece of Yed Miller, by
FTLN 0152 these gloves.
FALSTAFF FTLN 0153 Is this true, Pistol?
SIR HUGH FTLN 0154 No, it is false, if it is a pickpurse.
PISTOL FTLN 0155 155 Ha, thou mountain foreigner!—Sir John and
FTLN 0156 master mine, I combat challenge of this latten
FTLN 0157 bilbo.—Word of denial in thy labras here! Word of
FTLN 0158 denial! Froth and scum, thou liest.
SLENDER , indicating Nym FTLN 0159 By these gloves, then ’twas
FTLN 0160 160 he.
NYM FTLN 0161 Be avised, sir, and pass good humors. I will say
FTLN 0162 “marry trap with you” if you run the nuthook’s
FTLN 0163 humor on me. That is the very note of it.

17
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 1. SC. 1
SLENDER FTLN 0164 By this hat, then, he in the red face had it.
FTLN 0165 165 For, though I cannot remember what I did when
FTLN 0166 you made me drunk, yet I am not altogether an
FTLN 0167 ass.
FALSTAFF FTLN 0168 What say you, Scarlet and John?
BARDOLPH FTLN 0169 Why, sir, for my part, I say the gentleman
FTLN 0170 170 had drunk himself out of his five sentences.
SIR HUGH FTLN 0171 It is “his five senses.” Fie, what the ignorance
FTLN 0172 is!
BARDOLPH , to Falstaff FTLN 0173 And being fap, sir, was, as
FTLN 0174 they say, cashiered. And so conclusions passed the
FTLN 0175 175 careers.
SLENDER FTLN 0176 Ay, you spake in Latin then too. But ’tis no
FTLN 0177 matter. I’ll ne’er be drunk whilst I live again but in
FTLN 0178 honest, civil, godly company, for this trick. If I be
FTLN 0179 drunk, I’ll be drunk with those that have the fear of
FTLN 0180 180 God, and not with drunken knaves.
SIR HUGH FTLN 0181 So Got ’udge me, that is a virtuous mind.
FALSTAFF FTLN 0182 You hear all these matters denied, gentlemen.
FTLN 0183 You hear it.
Enter Anne Page with wine.
PAGE FTLN 0184 Nay, daughter, carry the wine in. We’ll drink
FTLN 0185 185 within. Anne Page exits.
SLENDER FTLN 0186 O heaven, this is Mistress Anne Page.
Enter Mistress Ford and Mistress Page.
PAGE FTLN 0187 How now, Mistress Ford?
FALSTAFF FTLN 0188 Mistress Ford, by my troth, you are very well
FTLN 0189 met. By your leave, good mistress. He kisses her.
PAGE FTLN 0190 190 Wife, bid these gentlemen welcome.—Come, we
FTLN 0191 have a hot venison pasty to dinner. Come, gentlemen,
FTLN 0192 I hope we shall drink down all unkindness.
All but Slender, Shallow, and Sir Hugh exit.
SLENDER FTLN 0193 I had rather than forty shillings I had my
FTLN 0194 book of Songs and Sonnets here!

19
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 1. SC. 1
Enter Simple.
FTLN 0195 195 How now, Simple? Where have you been? I must
FTLN 0196 wait on myself, must I? You have not the Book of
FTLN 0197 Riddles about you, have you?
SIMPLE FTLN 0198 Book of Riddles? Why, did you not lend it to
FTLN 0199 Alice Shortcake upon Allhallowmas last, a fortnight
FTLN 0200 200 afore Michaelmas?
SHALLOW , to Slender FTLN 0201 Come, coz; come, coz. We stay
FTLN 0202 for you. A word with you, coz. Marry, this, coz:
FTLN 0203 there is, as ’twere, a tender, a kind of tender, made
FTLN 0204 afar off by Sir Hugh here. Do you understand me?
SLENDER FTLN 0205 205 Ay, sir, you shall find me reasonable. If it be
FTLN 0206 so, I shall do that that is reason.
SHALLOW FTLN 0207 Nay, but understand me.
SLENDER FTLN 0208 So I do, sir.
SIR HUGH FTLN 0209 Give ear to his motions, Master Slender. I
FTLN 0210 210 will description the matter to you, if you be capacity
FTLN 0211 of it.
SLENDER FTLN 0212 Nay, I will do as my cousin Shallow says. I
FTLN 0213 pray you, pardon me. He’s a Justice of Peace in his
FTLN 0214 country, simple though I stand here.
SIR HUGH FTLN 0215 215 But that is not the question. The question is
FTLN 0216 concerning your marriage.
SHALLOW FTLN 0217 Ay, there’s the point, sir.
SIR HUGH FTLN 0218 Marry, is it, the very point of it—to Mistress
FTLN 0219 Anne Page.
SLENDER FTLN 0220 220 Why, if it be so, I will marry her upon any
FTLN 0221 reasonable demands.
SIR HUGH FTLN 0222 But can you affection the ’oman? Let us command
FTLN 0223 to know that of your mouth, or of your lips;
FTLN 0224 for divers philosophers hold that the lips is parcel of
FTLN 0225 225 the mouth. Therefore, precisely, can you carry your
FTLN 0226 good will to the maid?
SHALLOW FTLN 0227 Cousin Abraham Slender, can you love her?

21
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 1. SC. 1
SLENDER FTLN 0228 I hope, sir, I will do as it shall become one
FTLN 0229 that would do reason.
SIR HUGH FTLN 0230 230 Nay, Got’s lords and His ladies! You must
FTLN 0231 speak positable, if you can carry her your desires
FTLN 0232 towards her.
SHALLOW FTLN 0233 That you must. Will you, upon good dowry,
FTLN 0234 marry her?
SLENDER FTLN 0235 235 I will do a greater thing than that, upon your
FTLN 0236 request, cousin, in any reason.
SHALLOW FTLN 0237 Nay, conceive me, conceive me, sweet coz.
FTLN 0238 What I do is to pleasure you, coz. Can you love the
FTLN 0239 maid?
SLENDER FTLN 0240 240 I will marry her, sir, at your request. But if
FTLN 0241 there be no great love in the beginning, yet heaven
FTLN 0242 may decrease it upon better acquaintance, when
FTLN 0243 we are married and have more occasion to know
FTLN 0244 one another. I hope upon familiarity will grow
FTLN 0245 245 more content. But if you say “Marry her,” I will
FTLN 0246 marry her. That I am freely dissolved, and
FTLN 0247 dissolutely.
SIR HUGH FTLN 0248 It is a fery discretion answer, save the fall is
FTLN 0249 in the ’ord “dissolutely.” The ’ort is, according to
FTLN 0250 250 our meaning, “resolutely.” His meaning is good.
SHALLOW FTLN 0251 Ay, I think my cousin meant well.
SLENDER FTLN 0252 Ay, or else I would I might be hanged, la!
Enter Anne Page.
SHALLOW FTLN 0253 Here comes fair Mistress Anne.—Would I
FTLN 0254 were young for your sake, Mistress Anne.
ANNE FTLN 0255 255 The dinner is on the table. My father desires
FTLN 0256 your Worships’ company.
SHALLOW FTLN 0257 I will wait on him, fair Mistress Anne.
SIR HUGH FTLN 0258’Od’s plessèd will, I will not be absence at
FTLN 0259 the grace. Sir Hugh and Shallow exit.
ANNE , to Slender FTLN 0260 260 Will ’t please your Worship to come
FTLN 0261 in, sir?

23
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 1. SC. 1
SLENDER FTLN 0262 No, I thank you, forsooth, heartily. I am very
FTLN 0263 well.
ANNE FTLN 0264 The dinner attends you, sir.
SLENDER FTLN 0265 265 I am not ahungry, I thank you, forsooth. (To
Simple.) FTLN 0266 Go, sirrah, for all you are my man, go
FTLN 0267 wait upon my cousin Shallow. (Simple exits.) A
FTLN 0268 Justice of Peace sometime may be beholding to his
FTLN 0269 friend for a man. I keep but three men and a boy
FTLN 0270 270 yet, till my mother be dead. But what though? Yet
FTLN 0271 I live like a poor gentleman born.
ANNE FTLN 0272 I may not go in without your Worship. They will
FTLN 0273 not sit till you come.
SLENDER FTLN 0274 I’ faith, I’ll eat nothing. I thank you as much
FTLN 0275 275 as though I did.
ANNE FTLN 0276 I pray you, sir, walk in.
SLENDER FTLN 0277 I had rather walk here, I thank you. I bruised
FTLN 0278 my shin th’ other day with playing at sword and
FTLN 0279 dagger with a master of fence—three veneys for a
FTLN 0280 280 dish of stewed prunes—and, by my troth, I cannot
FTLN 0281 abide the smell of hot meat since. Why do your
FTLN 0282 dogs bark so? Be there bears i’ th’ town?
ANNE FTLN 0283 I think there are, sir. I heard them talked of.
SLENDER FTLN 0284 I love the sport well, but I shall as soon quarrel
FTLN 0285 285 at it as any man in England. You are afraid if
FTLN 0286 you see the bear loose, are you not?
ANNE FTLN 0287 Ay, indeed, sir.
SLENDER FTLN 0288 That’s meat and drink to me, now. I have
FTLN 0289 seen Sackerson loose twenty times, and have taken
FTLN 0290 290 him by the chain. But, I warrant you, the women
FTLN 0291 have so cried and shrieked at it that it passed. But
FTLN 0292 women, indeed, cannot abide ’em; they are very ill-favored
FTLN 0293 rough things.
Enter Page.
PAGE FTLN 0294 Come, gentle Master Slender, come. We stay for
FTLN 0295 295 you.

25
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 1. SC. 2
SLENDER FTLN 0296 I’ll eat nothing, I thank you, sir.
PAGE FTLN 0297 By cock and pie, you shall not choose, sir! Come,
FTLN 0298 come.
SLENDER FTLN 0299 Nay, pray you, lead the way.
PAGE FTLN 0300 300 Come on, sir.
SLENDER FTLN 0301 Mistress Anne, yourself shall go first.
ANNE FTLN 0302 Not I, sir. Pray you, keep on.
SLENDER FTLN 0303 Truly, I will not go first, truly, la! I will not do
FTLN 0304 you that wrong.
ANNE FTLN 0305 305 I pray you, sir.
SLENDER FTLN 0306 I’ll rather be unmannerly than troublesome.
FTLN 0307 You do yourself wrong, indeed, la!
They exit.
Scene 2
Enter Sir Hugh Evans and Simple.
SIR HUGH FTLN 0308 Go your ways, and ask of Doctor Caius’
FTLN 0309 house which is the way. And there dwells one Mistress
FTLN 0310 Quickly, which is in the manner of his nurse,
FTLN 0311 or his dry nurse, or his cook, or his laundry—his
FTLN 0312 5 washer and his wringer.
SIMPLE FTLN 0313 Well, sir.
SIR HUGH FTLN 0314 Nay, it is petter yet. Give her this letter
FTLN 0315 (handing him a paper), for it is a ’oman that altogether’s
FTLN 0316 acquaintance with Mistress Anne Page;
FTLN 0317 10 and the letter is to desire and require her to solicit
FTLN 0318 your master’s desires to Mistress Anne Page. I pray
FTLN 0319 you, be gone. I will make an end of my dinner;
FTLN 0320 there’s pippins and cheese to come.
They exit.

27
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 1. SC. 3
Scene 3
Enter Sir John Falstaff, Host, Bardolph, Nym, Pistol,
and Robin, Falstaff’s Page.
FALSTAFF FTLN 0321 Mine Host of the Garter!
HOST FTLN 0322 What says my bullyrook? Speak scholarly and
FTLN 0323 wisely.
FALSTAFF FTLN 0324 Truly, mine Host, I must turn away some of
FTLN 0325 5 my followers.
HOST FTLN 0326 Discard, bully Hercules, cashier. Let them wag;
FTLN 0327 trot, trot.
FALSTAFF FTLN 0328 I sit at ten pounds a week.
HOST FTLN 0329 Thou ’rt an emperor—Caesar, Keiser, and
FTLN 0330 10 Pheazar. I will entertain Bardolph. He shall draw,
FTLN 0331 he shall tap. Said I well, bully Hector?
FALSTAFF FTLN 0332 Do so, good mine Host.
HOST FTLN 0333 I have spoke. Let him follow.—Let me see thee
FTLN 0334 froth and lime. I am at a word. Follow.
Host exits.
FALSTAFF FTLN 0335 15 Bardolph, follow him. A tapster is a good
FTLN 0336 trade. An old cloak makes a new jerkin, a withered
FTLN 0337 servingman a fresh tapster. Go. Adieu.
BARDOLPH FTLN 0338 It is a life that I have desired. I will thrive.
PISTOL FTLN 0339 O base Hungarian wight, wilt thou the spigot
FTLN 0340 20 wield? Bardolph exits.
NYM FTLN 0341 He was gotten in drink. Is not the humor
FTLN 0342 conceited?
FALSTAFF FTLN 0343 I am glad I am so acquit of this tinderbox.
FTLN 0344 His thefts were too open. His filching was like an
FTLN 0345 25 unskillful singer; he kept not time.
NYM FTLN 0346 The good humor is to steal at a minute’s rest.
PISTOL FTLN 0347“Convey,” the wise it call. “Steal”? Foh, a fico
FTLN 0348 for the phrase!
FALSTAFF FTLN 0349 Well, sirs, I am almost out at heels.
PISTOL FTLN 0350 30 Why, then, let kibes ensue.
FALSTAFF FTLN 0351 There is no remedy. I must cony-catch, I
FTLN 0352 must shift.

29
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 1. SC. 3
PISTOL FTLN 0353 Young ravens must have food.
FALSTAFF FTLN 0354 Which of you know Ford of this town?
PISTOL FTLN 0355 35 I ken the wight. He is of substance good.
FALSTAFF FTLN 0356 My honest lads, I will tell you what I am
FTLN 0357 about.
PISTOL FTLN 0358 Two yards and more.
FALSTAFF FTLN 0359 No quips now, Pistol. Indeed, I am in the
FTLN 0360 40 waist two yards about, but I am now about no
FTLN 0361 waste; I am about thrift. Briefly, I do mean to make
FTLN 0362 love to Ford’s wife. I spy entertainment in her. She
FTLN 0363 discourses; she carves; she gives the leer of invitation.
FTLN 0364 I can construe the action of her familiar style;
FTLN 0365 45 and the hardest voice of her behavior, to be Englished
FTLN 0366 rightly, is “I am Sir John Falstaff’s.”
PISTOL , aside to Nym FTLN 0367 He hath studied her will and
FTLN 0368 translated her will—out of honesty into English.
NYM , aside to Pistol FTLN 0369 The anchor is deep. Will that
FTLN 0370 50 humor pass?
FALSTAFF FTLN 0371 Now, the report goes, she has all the rule of
FTLN 0372 her husband’s purse. He hath a legion of angels.
PISTOL , aside to Nym FTLN 0373 As many devils entertain, and
FTLN 0374 “To her, boy,” say I.
NYM , aside to Pistol FTLN 0375 55 The humor rises; it is good.
FTLN 0376 Humor me the angels.
FALSTAFF , showing two papers FTLN 0377 I have writ me here a
FTLN 0378 letter to her; and here another to Page’s wife, who
FTLN 0379 even now gave me good eyes too, examined my
FTLN 0380 60 parts with most judicious oeillades. Sometimes
FTLN 0381 the beam of her view gilded my foot, sometimes
FTLN 0382 my portly belly.
PISTOL , aside to Nym FTLN 0383 Then did the sun on dunghill
FTLN 0384 shine.
NYM , aside to Pistol FTLN 0385 65 I thank thee for that humor.
FALSTAFF FTLN 0386 O, she did so course o’er my exteriors with
FTLN 0387 such a greedy intention that the appetite of her
FTLN 0388 eye did seem to scorch me up like a burning-glass.

31
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 1. SC. 3
FTLN 0389 Here’s another letter to her. She bears the purse
FTLN 0390 70 too; she is a region in Guiana, all gold and bounty.
FTLN 0391 I will be cheaters to them both, and they shall be
FTLN 0392 exchequers to me; they shall be my East and West
FTLN 0393 Indies, and I will trade to them both. Go bear thou
FTLN 0394 this letter to Mistress Page—and thou this to Mistress
FTLN 0395 75 Ford. We will thrive, lads, we will thrive.
PISTOL
FTLN 0396 Shall I Sir Pandarus of Troy become,
FTLN 0397 And by my side wear steel? Then Lucifer take all!
NYM , to Falstaff FTLN 0398 I will run no base humor. Here, take
FTLN 0399 the humor-letter. I will keep the havior of
FTLN 0400 80 reputation.
FALSTAFF , giving papers to Robin
FTLN 0401 Hold, sirrah, bear you these letters tightly;
FTLN 0402 Sail like my pinnace to these golden shores.—
FTLN 0403 Rogues, hence, avaunt, vanish like hailstones, go,
FTLN 0404 Trudge, plod away i’ th’ hoof, seek shelter, pack!
FTLN 0405 85 Falstaff will learn the humor of the age:
FTLN 0406 French thrift, you rogues—myself and skirted page.
Falstaff and Robin exit.
PISTOL
FTLN 0407 Let vultures gripe thy guts! For gourd and fullam
FTLN 0408 holds,
FTLN 0409 And high and low beguiles the rich and poor.
FTLN 0410 90 Tester I’ll have in pouch when thou shalt lack,
FTLN 0411 Base Phrygian Turk!
NYM FTLN 0412 I have operations which be humors of revenge.
PISTOL FTLN 0413 Wilt thou revenge?
NYM FTLN 0414 By welkin and her star!
PISTOL FTLN 0415 95 With wit or steel?
NYM FTLN 0416 With both the humors, I. I will discuss the
FTLN 0417 humor of this love to Ford.
PISTOL
FTLN 0418 And I to Page shall eke unfold
FTLN 0419 How Falstaff, varlet vile,

33
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 1. SC. 4
FTLN 0420 100 His dove will prove, his gold will hold,
FTLN 0421 And his soft couch defile.
NYM FTLN 0422 My humor shall not cool. I will incense Ford to
FTLN 0423 deal with poison. I will possess him with yellowness,
FTLN 0424 for the revolt of mine is dangerous. That is
FTLN 0425 105 my true humor.
PISTOL FTLN 0426 Thou art the Mars of malcontents. I second
FTLN 0427 thee. Troop on.
They exit.
Scene 4
Enter Mistress Quickly and Simple.
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLN 0428 What, John Rugby! (Enter John
Rugby.) FTLN 0429 I pray thee, go to the casement and see if
FTLN 0430 you can see my master, Master Doctor Caius, coming.
FTLN 0431 If he do, i’ faith, and find anybody in the
FTLN 0432 5 house, here will be an old abusing of God’s patience
FTLN 0433 and the King’s English.
RUGBY FTLN 0434 I’ll go watch.
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLN 0435 Go, and we’ll have a posset for ’t
FTLN 0436 soon at night, in faith, at the latter end of a seacoal
FTLN 0437 10 fire. (Rugby exits.) An honest, willing, kind fellow
FTLN 0438 as ever servant shall come in house withal; and, I
FTLN 0439 warrant you, no telltale nor no breed-bate. His
FTLN 0440 worst fault is that he is given to prayer. He is something
FTLN 0441 peevish that way, but nobody but has his
FTLN 0442 15 fault. But let that pass. Peter Simple you say your
FTLN 0443 name is?
SIMPLE FTLN 0444 Ay, for fault of a better.
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLN 0445 And Master Slender’s your master?
SIMPLE FTLN 0446 Ay, forsooth.
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLN 0447 20 Does he not wear a great round
FTLN 0448 beard like a glover’s paring knife?
SIMPLE FTLN 0449 No, forsooth. He hath but a little wee face,
FTLN 0450 with a little yellow beard, a Cain-colored beard.

35
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 1. SC. 4
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLN 0451 A softly-sprited man, is he not?
SIMPLE FTLN 0452 25 Ay, forsooth. But he is as tall a man of his
FTLN 0453 hands as any is between this and his head. He hath
FTLN 0454 fought with a warrener.
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLN 0455 How say you? O, I should remember
FTLN 0456 him. Does he not hold up his head, as it were,
FTLN 0457 30 and strut in his gait?
SIMPLE FTLN 0458 Yes, indeed, does he.
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLN 0459 Well, heaven send Anne Page no
FTLN 0460 worse fortune! Tell Master Parson Evans I will do
FTLN 0461 what I can for your master. Anne is a good girl, and
FTLN 0462 35 I wish—
Enter Rugby.
RUGBY FTLN 0463 Out, alas! Here comes my master.
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLN 0464 We shall all be shent.—Run in here,
FTLN 0465 good young man. Go into this closet. He will not
FTLN 0466 stay long. (Simple exits.) What, John Rugby!
FTLN 0467 40 John! What, John, I say! Go, John, go enquire for
FTLN 0468 my master. I doubt he be not well, that he comes
FTLN 0469 not home. Rugby exits.
FTLN 0470 (She sings.) And down, down, adown ’a, etc.
Enter Doctor Caius.
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLN 0471 Vat is you sing? I do not like dese toys.
FTLN 0472 45 Pray you, go and vetch me in my closet un boîtier
FTLN 0473 vert, a box, a green-a box. Do intend vat I speak?
FTLN 0474 A green-a box.
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLN 0475 Ay, forsooth. I’ll fetch it you.
FTLN 0476 (Aside.) I am glad he went not in himself. If he
FTLN 0477 50 had found the young man, he would have been
FTLN 0478 horn-mad. She exits.
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLN 0479 Fe, fe, fe, fe! Ma foi, il fait fort chaud. Je
FTLN 0480 m’en vais à la cour—la grande affaire.
Enter Mistress Quickly with a small box.
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLN 0481 Is it this, sir?
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLN 0482 55 Oui, mets-le à mon pocket. Dépêche,
FTLN 0483 quickly. Vere is dat knave Rugby?

37
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 1. SC. 4
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLN 0484 What, John Rugby, John!
Enter Rugby.
RUGBY FTLN 0485 Here, sir.
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLN 0486 You are John Rugby, and you are Jack
FTLN 0487 60 Rugby. Come, take-a your rapier, and come after
FTLN 0488 my heel to the court.
RUGBY FTLN 0489’Tis ready, sir, here in the porch.
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLN 0490 By my trot, I tarry too long. Od’s
FTLN 0491 me! Qu’ai-j’oublié? Dere is some simples in my
FTLN 0492 65 closet dat I vill not for the varld I shall leave
FTLN 0493 behind. He exits.
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLN 0494 Ay me! He’ll find the young man
FTLN 0495 there, and be mad!
Enter Doctor Caius.
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLN 0496 O diable, diable! Vat is in my closet? Villainy!
FTLN 0497 70 Larron! (Pulling out Simple.) Rugby, my
FTLN 0498 rapier!
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLN 0499 Good master, be content.
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLN 0500 Wherefore shall I be content-a?
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLN 0501 The young man is an honest man.
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLN 0502 75 What shall de honest man do in my
FTLN 0503 closet? Dere is no honest man dat shall come in
FTLN 0504 my closet.
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLN 0505 I beseech you, be not so phlegmatic.
FTLN 0506 Hear the truth of it. He came of an errand to me
FTLN 0507 80 from Parson Hugh.
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLN 0508 Vell?
SIMPLE FTLN 0509 Ay, forsooth. To desire her to—
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLN 0510 Peace, I pray you.
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLN 0511 Peace-a your tongue.—Speak-a your
FTLN 0512 85 tale.
SIMPLE FTLN 0513 To desire this honest gentlewoman, your
FTLN 0514 maid, to speak a good word to Mistress Anne Page
FTLN 0515 for my master in the way of marriage.

39
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 1. SC. 4
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLN 0516 This is all, indeed, la! But I’ll ne’er
FTLN 0517 90 put my finger in the fire, and need not.
DOCTOR CAIUS , to Simple FTLN 0518 Sir Hugh send-a you?—
FTLN 0519 Rugby, baille me some paper.—Tarry you a little-a
FTLN 0520 while.
Rugby brings paper, and Doctor Caius writes.
MISTRESS QUICKLY , aside to Simple FTLN 0521 I am glad he is so
FTLN 0522 95 quiet. If he had been throughly moved, you should
FTLN 0523 have heard him so loud and so melancholy. But
FTLN 0524 notwithstanding, man, I’ll do you your master
FTLN 0525 what good I can. And the very yea and the no is,
FTLN 0526 the French doctor, my master—I may call him my
FTLN 0527 100 master, look you, for I keep his house, and I wash,
FTLN 0528 wring, brew, bake, scour, dress meat and drink,
FTLN 0529 make the beds, and do all myself—
SIMPLE , aside to Quickly FTLN 0530’Tis a great charge to come
FTLN 0531 under one body’s hand.
MISTRESS QUICKLY , aside to Simple FTLN 0532 105 Are you advised o’
FTLN 0533 that? You shall find it a great charge. And to be up
FTLN 0534 early and down late. But notwithstanding—to tell
FTLN 0535 you in your ear; I would have no words of it—my
FTLN 0536 master himself is in love with Mistress Anne Page.
FTLN 0537 110 But notwithstanding that, I know Anne’s mind.
FTLN 0538 That’s neither here nor there.
DOCTOR CAIUS , handing paper to Simple FTLN 0539 You, jack’nape,
FTLN 0540 give-a this letter to Sir Hugh. By gar, it is a
FTLN 0541 shallenge. I will cut his troat in de park, and I will
FTLN 0542 115 teach a scurvy jackanape priest to meddle or
FTLN 0543 make. You may be gone. It is not good you tarry
FTLN 0544 here.—By gar, I will cut all his two stones. By gar,
FTLN 0545 he shall not have a stone to throw at his dog.
Simple exits.
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLN 0546 Alas, he speaks but for his friend.
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLN 0547 120 It is no matter-a ver dat. Do not you tell-a
FTLN 0548 me dat I shall have Anne Page for myself? By gar, I
FTLN 0549 vill kill de jack priest; and I have appointed mine

41
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 1. SC. 4
FTLN 0550 Host of de Jarteer to measure our weapon. By gar,
FTLN 0551 I will myself have Anne Page.
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLN 0552 125 Sir, the maid loves you, and all shall
FTLN 0553 be well. We must give folks leave to prate. What
FTLN 0554 the goodyear!
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLN 0555 Rugby, come to the court with me. (To
Mistress Quickly.) FTLN 0556 By gar, if I have not Anne Page,
FTLN 0557 130 I shall turn your head out of my door.—Follow my
FTLN 0558 heels, Rugby.
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLN 0559 You shall have Anne—
Caius and Rugby exit.
FTLN 0560 fool’s head of your own. No, I know Anne’s mind
FTLN 0561 for that. Never a woman in Windsor knows more
FTLN 0562 135 of Anne’s mind than I do, nor can do more than I
FTLN 0563 do with her, I thank heaven.
FENTON , within FTLN 0564 Who’s within there, ho?
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLN 0565 Who’s there, I trow? Come near the
FTLN 0566 house, I pray you.
Enter Fenton.
FENTON FTLN 0567 140 How now, good woman? How dost thou?
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLN 0568 The better that it pleases your good
FTLN 0569 Worship to ask.
FENTON FTLN 0570 What news? How does pretty Mistress Anne?
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLN 0571 In truth, sir, and she is pretty, and
FTLN 0572 145 honest, and gentle; and one that is your friend, I
FTLN 0573 can tell you that by the way, I praise heaven for it.
FENTON FTLN 0574 Shall I do any good, think’st thou? Shall I not
FTLN 0575 lose my suit?
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLN 0576 Troth, sir, all is in His hands above.
FTLN 0577 150 But notwithstanding, Master Fenton, I’ll be sworn
FTLN 0578 on a book she loves you. Have not your Worship a
FTLN 0579 wart above your eye?
FENTON FTLN 0580 Yes, marry, have I. What of that?
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLN 0581 Well, thereby hangs a tale. Good
FTLN 0582 155 faith, it is such another Nan! But, I detest, an honest

43
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 1. SC. 4
FTLN 0583 maid as ever broke bread. We had an hour’s
FTLN 0584 talk of that wart. I shall never laugh but in that
FTLN 0585 maid’s company. But, indeed, she is given too
FTLN 0586 much to allicholy and musing. But, for you,—well,
FTLN 0587 160 go to.
FENTON FTLN 0588 Well, I shall see her today. Hold, there’s
FTLN 0589 money for thee. (He hands her money.) Let me
FTLN 0590 have thy voice in my behalf. If thou see’st her before
FTLN 0591 me, commend me.
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLN 0592 165 Will I? I’ faith, that we will. And I
FTLN 0593 will tell your Worship more of the wart the next
FTLN 0594 time we have confidence, and of other wooers.
FENTON FTLN 0595 Well, farewell. I am in great haste now.
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLN 0596 Farewell to your Worship.
(Fenton exits.)
FTLN 0597 170 Truly an honest gentleman—but Anne loves him
FTLN 0598 not, for I know Anne’s mind as well as another
FTLN 0599 does. Out upon ’t! What have I forgot?
She exits.

ACT 2
Scene 1
Enter Mistress Page reading a letter.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 0600 What, have I ’scaped love letters in
FTLN 0601 the holiday time of my beauty, and am I now a
FTLN 0602 subject for them? Let me see.
She reads.
FTLN 0603 Ask me no reason why I love you, for though Love
FTLN 0604 5 use Reason for his precisian, he admits him not for
FTLN 0605 his counselor. You are not young; no more am I. Go
FTLN 0606 to, then, there’s sympathy. You are merry; so am I.
FTLN 0607 Ha, ha, then, there’s more sympathy. You love sack,
FTLN 0608 and so do I. Would you desire better sympathy? Let
FTLN 0609 10 it suffice thee, Mistress Page—at the least, if the love
FTLN 0610 of soldier can suffice—that I love thee. I will not say
FTLN 0611 pity me—’tis not a soldier-like phrase—but I say love
FTLN 0612 me. By me,
FTLN 0613 Thine own true knight,
FTLN 0614 15 By day or night,
FTLN 0615 Or any kind of light,
FTLN 0616 With all his might
FTLN 0617 For thee to fight,
FTLN 0618 John Falstaff.
FTLN 0619 20 What a Herod of Jewry is this! O wicked, wicked
FTLN 0620 world! One that is well-nigh worn to pieces with
FTLN 0621 age, to show himself a young gallant! What an
FTLN 0622 unweighed behavior hath this Flemish drunkard
47

49
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 2. SC. 1
FTLN 0623 picked—with the devil’s name!—out of my conversation,
FTLN 0624 25 that he dares in this manner assay me?
FTLN 0625 Why, he hath not been thrice in my company!
FTLN 0626 What should I say to him? I was then frugal of my
FTLN 0627 mirth. Heaven forgive me! Why, I’ll exhibit a bill
FTLN 0628 in the Parliament for the putting down of men.
FTLN 0629 30 How shall I be revenged on him? For revenged I
FTLN 0630 will be, as sure as his guts are made of puddings.
Enter Mistress Ford.
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 0631 Mistress Page! Trust me, I was going to
FTLN 0632 your house.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 0633 And, trust me, I was coming to you.
FTLN 0634 35 You look very ill.
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 0635 Nay, I’ll ne’er believe that. I have to
FTLN 0636 show to the contrary.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 0637 Faith, but you do, in my mind.
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 0638 Well, I do, then. Yet I say I could show
FTLN 0639 40 you to the contrary. O Mistress Page, give me some
FTLN 0640 counsel.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 0641 What’s the matter, woman?
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 0642 O woman, if it were not for one trifling
FTLN 0643 respect, I could come to such honor!
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 0644 45 Hang the trifle, woman; take the honor.
FTLN 0645 What is it? Dispense with trifles. What is it?
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 0646 If I would but go to hell for an eternal
FTLN 0647 moment or so, I could be knighted.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 0648 What, thou liest! Sir Alice Ford? These
FTLN 0649 50 knights will hack, and so thou shouldst not alter
FTLN 0650 the article of thy gentry.
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 0651 We burn daylight. Here, read, read. Perceive
FTLN 0652 how I might be knighted. (She gives a paper
to Mistress Page, who reads it.) FTLN 0653 I shall think the
FTLN 0654 55 worse of fat men as long as I have an eye to make
FTLN 0655 difference of men’s liking. And yet he would not
FTLN 0656 swear; praised women’s modesty; and gave such

51
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 2. SC. 1
FTLN 0657 orderly and well-behaved reproof to all uncomeliness
FTLN 0658 that I would have sworn his disposition
FTLN 0659 60 would have gone to the truth of his words. But
FTLN 0660 they do no more adhere and keep place together
FTLN 0661 than the Hundredth Psalm to the tune of
FTLN 0662 “Greensleeves.” What tempest, I trow, threw this
FTLN 0663 whale, with so many tuns of oil in his belly, ashore
FTLN 0664 65 at Windsor? How shall I be revenged on him? I
FTLN 0665 think the best way were to entertain him with hope
FTLN 0666 till the wicked fire of lust have melted him in his
FTLN 0667 own grease. Did you ever hear the like?
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 0668 Letter for letter, but that the name of
FTLN 0669 70 Page and Ford differs! To thy great comfort in this
FTLN 0670 mystery of ill opinions, here’s the twin brother of
FTLN 0671 thy letter. (She gives a paper to Mistress Ford, who
reads it.) FTLN 0672 But let thine inherit first, for I protest
FTLN 0673 mine never shall. I warrant he hath a thousand of
FTLN 0674 75 these letters writ with blank space for different
FTLN 0675 names—sure, more—and these are of the second
FTLN 0676 edition. He will print them, out of doubt; for he
FTLN 0677 cares not what he puts into the press, when he
FTLN 0678 would put us two. I had rather be a giantess and lie
FTLN 0679 80 under Mount Pelion. Well, I will find you twenty
FTLN 0680 lascivious turtles ere one chaste man.
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 0681 Why, this is the very same—the very
FTLN 0682 hand, the very words. What doth he think of us?
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 0683 Nay, I know not. It makes me almost
FTLN 0684 85 ready to wrangle with mine own honesty. I’ll entertain
FTLN 0685 myself like one that I am not acquainted
FTLN 0686 withal; for, sure, unless he know some strain in
FTLN 0687 me that I know not myself, he would never have
FTLN 0688 boarded me in this fury.
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 0689 90“Boarding” call you it? I’ll be sure to
FTLN 0690 keep him above deck.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 0691 So will I. If he come under my hatches,
FTLN 0692 I’ll never to sea again. Let’s be revenged on him.
FTLN 0693 Let’s appoint him a meeting, give him a show of

53
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 2. SC. 1
FTLN 0694 95 comfort in his suit, and lead him on with a fine-baited
FTLN 0695 delay till he hath pawned his horses to mine
FTLN 0696 Host of the Garter.
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 0697 Nay, I will consent to act any villainy
FTLN 0698 against him that may not sully the chariness of our
FTLN 0699 100 honesty. O, that my husband saw this letter! It
FTLN 0700 would give eternal food to his jealousy.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 0701 Why, look where he comes, and my
FTLN 0702 good man too. He’s as far from jealousy as I am
FTLN 0703 from giving him cause, and that, I hope, is an
FTLN 0704 105 unmeasurable distance.
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 0705 You are the happier woman.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 0706 Let’s consult together against this greasy
FTLN 0707 knight. Come hither. They talk aside.
Enter Ford with Pistol, and Page with Nym.
FORD FTLN 0708 Well, I hope it be not so.
PISTOL
FTLN 0709 110 Hope is a curtal dog in some affairs.
FTLN 0710 Sir John affects thy wife.
FORD FTLN 0711 Why, sir, my wife is not young.
PISTOL
FTLN 0712 He woos both high and low, both rich and poor,
FTLN 0713 Both young and old, one with another, Ford.
FTLN 0714 115 He loves the gallimaufry. Ford, perpend.
FORD FTLN 0715 Love my wife?
PISTOL
FTLN 0716 With liver burning hot. Prevent,
FTLN 0717 Or go thou like Sir Acteon, he,
FTLN 0718 With Ringwood at thy heels.
FTLN 0719 120 O, odious is the name!
FORD FTLN 0720 What name, sir?
PISTOL FTLN 0721 The horn, I say. Farewell.
FTLN 0722 Take heed, have open eye, for thieves do foot by
FTLN 0723 night.
FTLN 0724 125 Take heed, ere summer comes or cuckoo birds do
FTLN 0725 sing.—

55
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 2. SC. 1
FTLN 0726 Away, Sir Corporal Nym.—Believe it, Page. He
FTLN 0727 speaks sense. He exits.
FORD , aside FTLN 0728 I will be patient. I will find out this.
NYM , to Page FTLN 0729 130 And this is true. I like not the humor of
FTLN 0730 lying. He hath wronged me in some humors. I
FTLN 0731 should have borne the humored letter to her; but I
FTLN 0732 have a sword, and it shall bite upon my necessity.
FTLN 0733 He loves your wife; there’s the short and the long.
FTLN 0734 135 My name is Corporal Nym. I speak and I avouch.
FTLN 0735 ’Tis true. My name is Nym, and Falstaff loves your
FTLN 0736 wife. Adieu. I love not the humor of bread and
FTLN 0737 cheese. Adieu. He exits.
PAGE , aside FTLN 0738“The humor of it,” quoth he? Here’s a fellow
FTLN 0739 140 frights English out of his wits.
FORD , aside FTLN 0740 I will seek out Falstaff.
PAGE , aside FTLN 0741 I never heard such a drawling, affecting
FTLN 0742 rogue.
FORD , aside FTLN 0743 If I do find it—well.
PAGE , aside FTLN 0744 145 I will not believe such a Cataian, though
FTLN 0745 the priest o’ th’ town commended him for a true
FTLN 0746 man.
FORD , aside FTLN 0747’Twas a good sensible fellow—well.
Mistress Page and Mistress Ford come forward.
PAGE , to Mistress Page FTLN 0748 How now, Meg?
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 0749 150 Whither go you, George? Hark you.
They talk aside.
MISTRESS FORD , to Ford FTLN 0750 How now, sweet Frank? Why
FTLN 0751 art thou melancholy?
FORD FTLN 0752 I melancholy? I am not melancholy. Get you
FTLN 0753 home. Go.
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 0754 155 Faith, thou hast some crochets in thy
FTLN 0755 head now.—Will you go, Mistress Page?
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 0756 Have with you.—You’ll come to dinner,
FTLN 0757 George? (Aside to Mistress Ford.) Look who
FTLN 0758 comes yonder.

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ACT 2. SC. 1
Enter Mistress Quickly.
FTLN 0759 160 She shall be our messenger to this paltry knight.
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 0760 Trust me, I thought on her. She’ll fit it.
MISTRESS PAGE , to Mistress Quickly FTLN 0761 You are come to
FTLN 0762 see my daughter Anne?
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLN 0763 Ay, forsooth. And, I pray, how does
FTLN 0764 165 good Mistress Anne?
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 0765 Go in with us and see. We have an
FTLN 0766 hour’s talk with you.
Mistress Page, Mistress Ford, and
Mistress Quickly exit.
PAGE FTLN 0767 How now, Master Ford?
FORD FTLN 0768 You heard what this knave told me, did you not?
PAGE FTLN 0769 170 Yes, and you heard what the other told me?
FORD FTLN 0770 Do you think there is truth in them?
PAGE FTLN 0771 Hang ’em, slaves! I do not think the knight
FTLN 0772 would offer it. But these that accuse him in his intent
FTLN 0773 towards our wives are a yoke of his discarded
FTLN 0774 175 men, very rogues, now they be out of service.
FORD FTLN 0775 Were they his men?
PAGE FTLN 0776 Marry, were they.
FORD FTLN 0777 I like it never the better for that. Does he lie at
FTLN 0778 the Garter?
PAGE FTLN 0779 180 Ay, marry, does he. If he should intend this voyage
FTLN 0780 toward my wife, I would turn her loose to him;
FTLN 0781 and what he gets more of her than sharp words, let
FTLN 0782 it lie on my head.
FORD FTLN 0783 I do not misdoubt my wife, but I would be loath
FTLN 0784 185 to turn them together. A man may be too confident.
FTLN 0785 I would have nothing lie on my head. I cannot
FTLN 0786 be thus satisfied.
Enter Host.
PAGE FTLN 0787 Look where my ranting Host of the Garter
FTLN 0788 comes. There is either liquor in his pate or money
FTLN 0789 190 in his purse when he looks so merrily.—How now,
FTLN 0790 mine Host?

59
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 2. SC. 1
HOST FTLN 0791 How now, bullyrook? Thou ’rt a gentleman.—
FTLN 0792 Cavaleiro Justice, I say!
Enter Shallow.
SHALLOW FTLN 0793 I follow, mine Host, I follow.—Good even
FTLN 0794 195 and twenty, good Master Page. Master Page, will
FTLN 0795 you go with us? We have sport in hand.
HOST FTLN 0796 Tell him, Cavaleiro Justice; tell him, bullyrook.
SHALLOW FTLN 0797 Sir, there is a fray to be fought between
FTLN 0798 Sir Hugh the Welsh priest and Caius the French
FTLN 0799 200 doctor.
FORD FTLN 0800 Good mine Host o’ th’ Garter, a word with you.
HOST FTLN 0801 What say’st thou, my bullyrook?
The Host and Ford talk aside.
SHALLOW , to Page FTLN 0802 Will you go with us to behold it?
FTLN 0803 My merry Host hath had the measuring of their
FTLN 0804 205 weapons and, I think, hath appointed them contrary
FTLN 0805 places; for, believe me, I hear the parson is no
FTLN 0806 jester. Hark, I will tell you what our sport shall be.
Shallow and Page talk aside.
HOST , to Ford FTLN 0807 Hast thou no suit against my knight,
FTLN 0808 my guest cavalier?
FORD FTLN 0809 210 None, I protest. But I’ll give you a pottle of
FTLN 0810 burnt sack to give me recourse to him, and tell him
FTLN 0811 my name is Brook—only for a jest.
HOST FTLN 0812 My hand, bully. Thou shalt have egress and
FTLN 0813 regress—said I well?—and thy name shall be
FTLN 0814 215 Brook. It is a merry knight. (To Shallow and
Page.) FTLN 0815 Will you go, ameers?
SHALLOW FTLN 0816 Have with you, mine Host.
PAGE FTLN 0817 I have heard the Frenchman hath good skill
FTLN 0818 in his rapier.
SHALLOW FTLN 0819 220 Tut, sir, I could have told you more. In these
FTLN 0820 times you stand on distance—your passes, stoccados,
FTLN 0821 and I know not what. ’Tis the heart, Master
FTLN 0822 Page; ’tis here, ’tis here. I have seen the time, with
FTLN 0823 my long sword I would have made you four tall
FTLN 0824 225 fellows skip like rats.

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The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 2. SC. 2
HOST FTLN 0825 Here, boys, here, here! Shall we wag?
PAGE FTLN 0826 Have with you. I had rather hear them scold
FTLN 0827 than fight. Page, Host, and Shallow exit.
FORD FTLN 0828 Though Page be a secure fool and stands so
FTLN 0829 230 firmly on his wife’s frailty, yet I cannot put off my
FTLN 0830 opinion so easily. She was in his company at Page’s
FTLN 0831 house, and what they made there I know not. Well,
FTLN 0832 I will look further into ’t, and I have a disguise to
FTLN 0833 sound Falstaff. If I find her honest, I lose not my
FTLN 0834 235 labor. If she be otherwise, ’tis labor well bestowed.
He exits.
Scene 2
Enter Sir John Falstaff and Pistol.
FALSTAFF FTLN 0835 I will not lend thee a penny.
PISTOL FTLN 0836 Why then, the world’s mine oyster, which I
FTLN 0837 with sword will open.
FALSTAFF FTLN 0838 Not a penny. I have been content, sir, you
FTLN 0839 5 should lay my countenance to pawn. I have grated
FTLN 0840 upon my good friends for three reprieves for you
FTLN 0841 and your coach-fellow Nym, or else you had
FTLN 0842 looked through the grate like a gemini of baboons.
FTLN 0843 I am damned in hell for swearing to gentlemen my
FTLN 0844 10 friends you were good soldiers and tall fellows.
FTLN 0845 And when Mistress Bridget lost the handle of her
FTLN 0846 fan, I took ’t upon mine honor thou hadst it not.
PISTOL FTLN 0847 Didst not thou share? Hadst thou not fifteen
FTLN 0848 pence?
FALSTAFF FTLN 0849 15 Reason, you rogue, reason. Think’st thou I’ll
FTLN 0850 endanger my soul gratis? At a word, hang no more
FTLN 0851 about me. I am no gibbet for you. Go—a short
FTLN 0852 knife and a throng—to your manor of Pickt-hatch,
FTLN 0853 go. You’ll not bear a letter for me, you rogue? You
FTLN 0854 20 stand upon your honor? Why, thou unconfinable

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The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 2. SC. 2
FTLN 0855 baseness, it is as much as I can do to keep the
FTLN 0856 terms of my honor precise. Ay, ay, I myself sometimes,
FTLN 0857 leaving the fear of God on the left hand
FTLN 0858 and hiding mine honor in my necessity, am fain to
FTLN 0859 25 shuffle, to hedge, and to lurch; and yet you, rogue,
FTLN 0860 will ensconce your rags, your cat-a-mountain
FTLN 0861 looks, your red-lattice phrases, and your bold beating
FTLN 0862 oaths under the shelter of your honor! You will
FTLN 0863 not do it? You?
PISTOL FTLN 0864 30 I do relent. What would thou more of man?
Enter Robin.
ROBIN FTLN 0865 Sir, here’s a woman would speak with you.
FALSTAFF FTLN 0866 Let her approach.
Enter Mistress Quickly.
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLN 0867 Give your Worship good morrow.
FALSTAFF FTLN 0868 Good morrow, goodwife.
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLN 0869 35 Not so, an ’t please your Worship.
FALSTAFF FTLN 0870 Good maid, then.
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLN 0871 I’ll be sworn—as my mother was,
FTLN 0872 the first hour I was born.
FALSTAFF FTLN 0873 I do believe the swearer. What with me?
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLN 0874 40 Shall I vouchsafe your Worship a
FTLN 0875 word or two?
FALSTAFF FTLN 0876 Two thousand, fair woman, and I’ll vouchsafe
FTLN 0877 thee the hearing.
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLN 0878 There is one Mistress Ford, sir—I
FTLN 0879 45 pray, come a little nearer this ways. I myself dwell
FTLN 0880 with Master Doctor Caius.
FALSTAFF FTLN 0881 Well, on. “Mistress Ford,” you say—
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLN 0882 Your Worship says very true. I pray
FTLN 0883 your Worship, come a little nearer this ways.
FALSTAFF FTLN 0884 50 I warrant thee, nobody hears. Mine own
FTLN 0885 people, mine own people.
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLN 0886 Are they so? God bless them and
FTLN 0887 make them His servants!

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ACT 2. SC. 2
FALSTAFF FTLN 0888 Well, “Mistress Ford”—what of her?
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLN 0889 55 Why, sir, she’s a good creature.
FTLN 0890 Lord, Lord, your Worship’s a wanton! Well, heaven
FTLN 0891 forgive you and all of us, I pray!
FALSTAFF FTLN 0892“Mistress Ford”—come, “Mistress Ford”—
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLN 0893 Marry, this is the short and the long
FTLN 0894 60 of it: you have brought her into such a canaries as
FTLN 0895 ’tis wonderful. The best courtier of them all, when
FTLN 0896 the court lay at Windsor, could never have brought
FTLN 0897 her to such a canary. Yet there has been knights,
FTLN 0898 and lords, and gentlemen, with their coaches, I
FTLN 0899 65 warrant you, coach after coach, letter after letter,
FTLN 0900 gift after gift, smelling so sweetly—all musk—and
FTLN 0901 so rushling, I warrant you, in silk and gold, and in
FTLN 0902 such alligant terms, and in such wine and sugar of
FTLN 0903 the best and the fairest, that would have won any
FTLN 0904 70 woman’s heart; and, I warrant you, they could
FTLN 0905 never get an eye-wink of her. I had myself twenty
FTLN 0906 angels given me this morning, but I defy all angels
FTLN 0907 in any such sort, as they say, but in the way of
FTLN 0908 honesty. And, I warrant you, they could never get
FTLN 0909 75 her so much as sip on a cup with the proudest of
FTLN 0910 them all. And yet there has been earls—nay, which
FTLN 0911 is more, pensioners—but, I warrant you, all is one
FTLN 0912 with her.
FALSTAFF FTLN 0913 But what says she to me? Be brief, my good
FTLN 0914 80 she-Mercury.
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLN 0915 Marry, she hath received your letter,
FTLN 0916 for the which she thanks you a thousand times,
FTLN 0917 and she gives you to notify that her husband will
FTLN 0918 be absence from his house between ten and eleven.
FALSTAFF FTLN 0919 85 Ten and eleven?
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLN 0920 Ay, forsooth; and then you may come
FTLN 0921 and see the picture, she says, that you wot of. Master
FTLN 0922 Ford, her husband, will be from home. Alas, the
FTLN 0923 sweet woman leads an ill life with him. He’s a very

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ACT 2. SC. 2
FTLN 0924 90 jealousy man. She leads a very frampold life with
FTLN 0925 him, good heart.
FALSTAFF FTLN 0926 Ten and eleven. Woman, commend me to
FTLN 0927 her. I will not fail her.
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLN 0928 Why, you say well. But I have another
FTLN 0929 95 messenger to your Worship. Mistress Page
FTLN 0930 hath her hearty commendations to you too; and,
FTLN 0931 let me tell you in your ear, she’s as fartuous a civil
FTLN 0932 modest wife, and one, I tell you, that will not miss
FTLN 0933 you morning nor evening prayer, as any is in Windsor,
FTLN 0934 100 whoe’er be the other. And she bade me tell
FTLN 0935 your Worship that her husband is seldom from
FTLN 0936 home, but she hopes there will come a time. I
FTLN 0937 never knew a woman so dote upon a man. Surely, I
FTLN 0938 think you have charms, la! Yes, in truth.
FALSTAFF FTLN 0939 105 Not I, I assure thee. Setting the attraction of
FTLN 0940 my good parts aside, I have no other charms.
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLN 0941 Blessing on your heart for ’t!
FALSTAFF FTLN 0942 But I pray thee, tell me this: has Ford’s wife
FTLN 0943 and Page’s wife acquainted each other how they
FTLN 0944 110 love me?
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLN 0945 That were a jest indeed! They have
FTLN 0946 not so little grace, I hope. That were a trick indeed!
FTLN 0947 But Mistress Page would desire you to send her
FTLN 0948 your little page, of all loves. Her husband has a
FTLN 0949 115 marvelous infection to the little page; and, truly,
FTLN 0950 Master Page is an honest man. Never a wife in
FTLN 0951 Windsor leads a better life than she does. Do what
FTLN 0952 she will, say what she will, take all, pay all, go to
FTLN 0953 bed when she list, rise when she list—all is as she
FTLN 0954 120 will. And, truly, she deserves it, for if there be a
FTLN 0955 kind woman in Windsor, she is one. You must send
FTLN 0956 her your page, no remedy.
FALSTAFF FTLN 0957 Why, I will.
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLN 0958 Nay, but do so then, and, look you,
FTLN 0959 125 he may come and go between you both. And in any

69
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 2. SC. 2
FTLN 0960 case have a nayword, that you may know one another’s
FTLN 0961 mind, and the boy never need to understand
FTLN 0962 anything; for ’tis not good that children
FTLN 0963 should know any wickedness. Old folks, you know,
FTLN 0964 130 have discretion, as they say, and know the world.
FALSTAFF FTLN 0965 Fare thee well. Commend me to them both.
FTLN 0966 There’s my purse. (He gives her money.) I am yet
FTLN 0967 thy debtor.—Boy, go along with this woman. (Mistress
Quickly and Robin exit.) FTLN 0968 This news distracts
FTLN 0969 135 me.
PISTOL , aside
FTLN 0970 This punk is one of Cupid’s carriers.
FTLN 0971 Clap on more sails, pursue; up with your fights;
FTLN 0972 Give fire! She is my prize, or ocean whelm them all!
He exits.
FALSTAFF FTLN 0973 Sayst thou so, old Jack? Go thy ways. I’ll
FTLN 0974 140 make more of thy old body than I have done. Will
FTLN 0975 they yet look after thee? Wilt thou, after the expense
FTLN 0976 of so much money, be now a gainer? Good
FTLN 0977 body, I thank thee. Let them say ’tis grossly done;
FTLN 0978 so it be fairly done, no matter.
Enter Bardolph with wine.
BARDOLPH FTLN 0979 145 Sir John, there’s one Master Brook below
FTLN 0980 would fain speak with you and be acquainted with
FTLN 0981 you, and hath sent your Worship a morning’s
FTLN 0982 draught of sack. (He hands Falstaff the wine.)
FALSTAFF FTLN 0983 Brook is his name?
BARDOLPH FTLN 0984 150 Ay, sir.
FALSTAFF FTLN 0985 Call him in. Such Brooks are welcome to
FTLN 0986 me that o’erflows such liquor. (Bardolph exits.)
FTLN 0987 Ah ha, Mistress Ford and Mistress Page, have I encompassed
FTLN 0988 you? Go to. Via!
Enter Bardolph with Ford disguised as Brook.
FORD , as Brook FTLN 0989 155 God bless you, sir.
FALSTAFF FTLN 0990 And you, sir. Would you speak with me?

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ACT 2. SC. 2
FORD , as Brook FTLN 0991 I make bold to press with so little
FTLN 0992 preparation upon you.
FALSTAFF FTLN 0993 You’re welcome. What’s your will?—Give us
FTLN 0994 160 leave, drawer. Bardolph exits.
FORD , as Brook FTLN 0995 Sir, I am a gentleman that have spent
FTLN 0996 much. My name is Brook.
FALSTAFF FTLN 0997 Good Master Brook, I desire more acquaintance
FTLN 0998 of you.
FORD , as Brook FTLN 0999 165 Good Sir John, I sue for yours—not
FTLN 1000 to charge you, for I must let you understand I
FTLN 1001 think myself in better plight for a lender than you
FTLN 1002 are, the which hath something emboldened me to
FTLN 1003 this unseasoned intrusion; for they say, if money
FTLN 1004 170 go before, all ways do lie open.
FALSTAFF FTLN 1005 Money is a good soldier, sir, and will on.
FORD , as Brook FTLN 1006 Troth, and I have a bag of money
FTLN 1007 here troubles me. He sets it down. If you will help
FTLN 1008 to bear it, Sir John, take all, or half, for easing me
FTLN 1009 175 of the carriage.
FALSTAFF FTLN 1010 Sir, I know not how I may deserve to be your
FTLN 1011 porter.
FORD , as Brook FTLN 1012 I will tell you, sir, if you will give me
FTLN 1013 the hearing.
FALSTAFF FTLN 1014 180 Speak, good Master Brook. I shall be glad
FTLN 1015 to be your servant.
FORD , as Brook FTLN 1016 Sir, I hear you are a scholar—I will
FTLN 1017 be brief with you—and you have been a man long
FTLN 1018 known to me, though I had never so good means
FTLN 1019 185 as desire to make myself acquainted with you. I
FTLN 1020 shall discover a thing to you wherein I must very
FTLN 1021 much lay open mine own imperfection. But, good
FTLN 1022 Sir John, as you have one eye upon my follies, as
FTLN 1023 you hear them unfolded, turn another into the register
FTLN 1024 190 of your own, that I may pass with a reproof
FTLN 1025 the easier, sith you yourself know how easy it is to
FTLN 1026 be such an offender.

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ACT 2. SC. 2
FALSTAFF FTLN 1027 Very well, sir. Proceed.
FORD , as Brook FTLN 1028 There is a gentlewoman in this
FTLN 1029 195 town—her husband’s name is Ford.
FALSTAFF FTLN 1030 Well, sir.
FORD , as Brook FTLN 1031 I have long loved her and, I protest
FTLN 1032 to you, bestowed much on her, followed her with
FTLN 1033 a doting observance, engrossed opportunities to
FTLN 1034 200 meet her, fee’d every slight occasion that could but
FTLN 1035 niggardly give me sight of her, not only bought
FTLN 1036 many presents to give her, but have given largely to
FTLN 1037 many to know what she would have given. Briefly,
FTLN 1038 I have pursued her as love hath pursued me, which
FTLN 1039 205 hath been on the wing of all occasions. But whatsoever
FTLN 1040 I have merited, either in my mind or in my
FTLN 1041 means, meed I am sure I have received none, unless
FTLN 1042 experience be a jewel. That I have purchased
FTLN 1043 at an infinite rate, and that hath taught me to say
FTLN 1044 210 this:
FTLN 1045 “Love like a shadow flies when substance love
FTLN 1046 pursues,
FTLN 1047 Pursuing that that flies, and flying what pursues.”
FALSTAFF FTLN 1048 Have you received no promise of satisfaction
FTLN 1049 215 at her hands?
FORD , as Brook FTLN 1050 Never.
FALSTAFF FTLN 1051 Have you importuned her to such a
FTLN 1052 purpose?
FORD , as Brook FTLN 1053 Never.
FALSTAFF FTLN 1054 220 Of what quality was your love, then?
FORD , as Brook FTLN 1055 Like a fair house built on another
FTLN 1056 man’s ground, so that I have lost my edifice by
FTLN 1057 mistaking the place where I erected it.
FALSTAFF FTLN 1058 To what purpose have you unfolded this to
FTLN 1059 225 me?
FORD , as Brook FTLN 1060 When I have told you that, I have
FTLN 1061 told you all. Some say that though she appear honest
FTLN 1062 to me, yet in other places she enlargeth her
FTLN 1063 mirth so far that there is shrewd construction

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ACT 2. SC. 2
FTLN 1064 230 made of her. Now, Sir John, here is the heart of my
FTLN 1065 purpose: you are a gentleman of excellent breeding,
FTLN 1066 admirable discourse, of great admittance,
FTLN 1067 authentic in your place and person, generally
FTLN 1068 allowed for your many warlike, courtlike, and
FTLN 1069 235 learned preparations.
FALSTAFF FTLN 1070 O, sir!
FORD , as Brook FTLN 1071 Believe it, for you know it. There is
FTLN 1072 money. (He points to the bag.) Spend it, spend
FTLN 1073 it, spend more; spend all I have. Only give me so
FTLN 1074 240 much of your time in exchange of it as to lay an
FTLN 1075 amiable siege to the honesty of this Ford’s wife.
FTLN 1076 Use your art of wooing; win her to consent to you.
FTLN 1077 If any man may, you may as soon as any.
FALSTAFF FTLN 1078 Would it apply well to the vehemency of
FTLN 1079 245 your affection that I should win what you would
FTLN 1080 enjoy? Methinks you prescribe to yourself very
FTLN 1081 preposterously.
FORD , as Brook FTLN 1082 O, understand my drift. She dwells
FTLN 1083 so securely on the excellency of her honor that the
FTLN 1084 250 folly of my soul dares not present itself; she is too
FTLN 1085 bright to be looked against. Now, could I come to
FTLN 1086 her with any detection in my hand, my desires had
FTLN 1087 instance and argument to commend themselves. I
FTLN 1088 could drive her then from the ward of her purity,
FTLN 1089 255 her reputation, her marriage vow, and a thousand
FTLN 1090 other her defenses, which now are too too strongly
FTLN 1091 embattled against me. What say you to ’t, Sir
FTLN 1092 John?
FALSTAFF , taking the bag FTLN 1093 Master Brook, I will first
FTLN 1094 260 make bold with your money; next, give me your
FTLN 1095 hand; and, last, as I am a gentleman, you shall, if
FTLN 1096 you will, enjoy Ford’s wife.
FORD , as Brook FTLN 1097 O, good sir!
FALSTAFF FTLN 1098 I say you shall.
FORD , as Brook FTLN 1099 265 Want no money, Sir John; you shall
FTLN 1100 want none.

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ACT 2. SC. 2
FALSTAFF FTLN 1101 Want no Mistress Ford, Master Brook; you
FTLN 1102 shall want none. I shall be with her, I may tell you,
FTLN 1103 by her own appointment. Even as you came in to
FTLN 1104 270 me, her assistant or go-between parted from me. I
FTLN 1105 say I shall be with her between ten and eleven, for
FTLN 1106 at that time the jealous, rascally knave her husband
FTLN 1107 will be forth. Come you to me at night. You
FTLN 1108 shall know how I speed.
FORD , as Brook FTLN 1109 275 I am blessed in your acquaintance.
FTLN 1110 Do you know Ford, sir?
FALSTAFF FTLN 1111 Hang him, poor cuckoldly knave! I know
FTLN 1112 him not. Yet I wrong him to call him poor. They
FTLN 1113 say the jealous wittolly knave hath masses of
FTLN 1114 280 money, for the which his wife seems to me well-favored.
FTLN 1115 I will use her as the key of the cuckoldly
FTLN 1116 rogue’s coffer, and there’s my harvest home.
FORD , as Brook FTLN 1117 I would you knew Ford, sir, that you
FTLN 1118 might avoid him if you saw him.
FALSTAFF FTLN 1119 285 Hang him, mechanical salt-butter rogue! I
FTLN 1120 will stare him out of his wits. I will awe him with
FTLN 1121 my cudgel; it shall hang like a meteor o’er the
FTLN 1122 cuckold’s horns. Master Brook, thou shalt know I
FTLN 1123 will predominate over the peasant, and thou shalt
FTLN 1124 290 lie with his wife. Come to me soon at night. Ford’s
FTLN 1125 a knave, and I will aggravate his style. Thou, Master
FTLN 1126 Brook, shalt know him for knave and cuckold.
FTLN 1127 Come to me soon at night. Falstaff exits.
FORD FTLN 1128 What a damned epicurean rascal is this! My
FTLN 1129 295 heart is ready to crack with impatience. Who says
FTLN 1130 this is improvident jealousy? My wife hath sent
FTLN 1131 to him, the hour is fixed, the match is made.
FTLN 1132 Would any man have thought this? See the hell of
FTLN 1133 having a false woman: my bed shall be abused, my
FTLN 1134 300 coffers ransacked, my reputation gnawn at. And
FTLN 1135 I shall not only receive this villainous wrong but
FTLN 1136 stand under the adoption of abominable terms,

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ACT 2. SC. 3
FTLN 1137 and by him that does me this wrong. Terms,
FTLN 1138 names! “Amaimon” sounds well, “Lucifer” well,
FTLN 1139 305 “Barbason” well; yet they are devils’ additions, the
FTLN 1140 names of fiends. But “Cuckold,” “Wittoll,” “Cuckold”!
FTLN 1141 The devil himself hath not such a name. Page
FTLN 1142 is an ass, a secure ass. He will trust his wife, he will
FTLN 1143 not be jealous. I will rather trust a Fleming with
FTLN 1144 310 my butter, Parson Hugh the Welshman with my
FTLN 1145 cheese, an Irishman with my aquavitae bottle, or
FTLN 1146 a thief to walk my ambling gelding, than my wife
FTLN 1147 with herself. Then she plots, then she ruminates,
FTLN 1148 then she devises; and what they think in their
FTLN 1149 315 hearts they may effect, they will break their hearts
FTLN 1150 but they will effect. God be praised for my jealousy!
FTLN 1151 Eleven o’clock the hour. I will prevent this,
FTLN 1152 detect my wife, be revenged on Falstaff, and laugh
FTLN 1153 at Page. I will about it. Better three hours too soon
FTLN 1154 320 than a minute too late. Fie, fie, fie! Cuckold, cuckold,
FTLN 1155 cuckold!
He exits.
Scene 3
Enter Doctor Caius and Rugby.
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLN 1156 Jack Rugby.
RUGBY FTLN 1157 Sir?
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLN 1158 Vat is the clock, Jack?
RUGBY FTLN 1159’Tis past the hour, sir, that Sir Hugh promised
FTLN 1160 5 to meet.
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLN 1161 By gar, he has save his soul dat he is no
FTLN 1162 come. He has pray his Pible well dat he is no come.
FTLN 1163 By gar, Jack Rugby, he is dead already if he be
FTLN 1164 come.
RUGBY FTLN 1165 10 He is wise, sir. He knew your Worship would
FTLN 1166 kill him if he came.

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ACT 2. SC. 3
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLN 1167 By gar, de herring is no dead so as I vill
FTLN 1168 kill him. Take your rapier, Jack. I vill tell you how I
FTLN 1169 vill kill him.
RUGBY FTLN 1170 15 Alas, sir, I cannot fence.
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLN 1171 Villainy, take your rapier.
RUGBY FTLN 1172 Forbear. Here’s company.
Enter Page, Shallow, Slender, and Host.
HOST FTLN 1173 God bless thee, bully doctor!
SHALLOW FTLN 1174 God save you, Master Doctor Caius!
PAGE FTLN 1175 20 Now, good Master Doctor!
SLENDER FTLN 1176 Give you good morrow, sir.
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLN 1177 Vat be all you, one, two, tree, four, come
FTLN 1178 for?
HOST FTLN 1179 To see thee fight, to see thee foin, to see thee traverse;
FTLN 1180 25 to see thee here, to see thee there; to see
FTLN 1181 thy pass, thy puncto, thy stock, thy reverse, thy
FTLN 1182 distance, thy montant. Is he dead, my Ethiopian?
FTLN 1183 Is he dead, my Francisco? Ha, bully? What says
FTLN 1184 my Aesculapius, my Galien, my heart of elder, ha?
FTLN 1185 30 Is he dead, bully stale? Is he dead?
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLN 1186 By gar, he is de coward jack-priest of de
FTLN 1187 vorld. He is not show his face.
HOST FTLN 1188 Thou art a Castalion King Urinal Hector of
FTLN 1189 Greece, my boy!
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLN 1190 35 I pray you, bear witness that me have
FTLN 1191 stay six or seven, two, tree hours for him, and he is
FTLN 1192 no come.
SHALLOW FTLN 1193 He is the wiser man, Master Doctor. He is a
FTLN 1194 curer of souls, and you a curer of bodies. If you
FTLN 1195 40 should fight, you go against the hair of your professions.—
FTLN 1196 Is it not true, Master Page?
PAGE FTLN 1197 Master Shallow, you have yourself been a great
FTLN 1198 fighter, though now a man of peace.
SHALLOW FTLN 1199 Bodykins, Master Page, though I now be old
FTLN 1200 45 and of the peace, if I see a sword out, my finger

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ACT 2. SC. 3
FTLN 1201 itches to make one. Though we are justices and
FTLN 1202 doctors and churchmen, Master Page, we have
FTLN 1203 some salt of our youth in us. We are the sons of
FTLN 1204 women, Master Page.
PAGE FTLN 1205 50’Tis true, Master Shallow.
SHALLOW FTLN 1206 It will be found so, Master Page.—Master
FTLN 1207 Doctor Caius, I am come to fetch you home. I am
FTLN 1208 sworn of the peace. You have showed yourself a
FTLN 1209 wise physician, and Sir Hugh hath shown himself
FTLN 1210 55 a wise and patient churchman. You must go with
FTLN 1211 me, Master Doctor.
HOST FTLN 1212 Pardon, guest Justice. (To Caius.) A word,
FTLN 1213 Monsieur Mockwater.
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLN 1214“Mockvater”? Vat is dat?
HOST FTLN 1215 60“Mockwater,” in our English tongue, is “valor,”
FTLN 1216 bully.
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLN 1217 By gar, then I have as much mockvater
FTLN 1218 as de Englishman. Scurvy jack-dog priest! By gar,
FTLN 1219 me vill cut his ears.
HOST FTLN 1220 65 He will clapper-claw thee tightly, bully.
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLN 1221“Clapper-de-claw”? Vat is dat?
HOST FTLN 1222 That is, he will make thee amends.
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLN 1223 By gar, me do look he shall clapper-de-claw
FTLN 1224 me, for, by gar, me vill have it.
HOST FTLN 1225 70 And I will provoke him to ’t, or let him wag.
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLN 1226 Me tank you for dat.
HOST FTLN 1227 And moreover, bully— (He draws Shallow, Page,
and Slender aside.) FTLN 1228 But first, Master guest, and
FTLN 1229 Master Page, and eke Cavaleiro Slender, go you
FTLN 1230 75 through the town to Frogmore.
PAGE FTLN 1231 Sir Hugh is there, is he?
HOST FTLN 1232 He is there. See what humor he is in; and I will
FTLN 1233 bring the doctor about by the fields. Will it do
FTLN 1234 well?
SHALLOW FTLN 1235 80 We will do it.
PAGE, SHALLOW, and SLENDER FTLN 1236 Adieu, good Master
FTLN 1237 Doctor. Page, Shallow, and Slender exit.

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ACT 2. SC. 3
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLN 1238 By gar, me vill kill de priest, for he speak
FTLN 1239 for a jackanape to Anne Page.
HOST FTLN 1240 85 Let him die. Sheathe thy impatience; throw cold
FTLN 1241 water on thy choler. Go about the fields with me
FTLN 1242 through Frogmore. I will bring thee where Mistress
FTLN 1243 Anne Page is, at a farmhouse a-feasting, and
FTLN 1244 thou shalt woo her. Cried game! Said I well?
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLN 1245 90 By gar, me dank you vor dat. By gar, I
FTLN 1246 love you, and I shall procure-a you de good guest:
FTLN 1247 de earl, de knight, de lords, de gentlemen, my
FTLN 1248 patients.
HOST FTLN 1249 For the which I will be thy adversary toward
FTLN 1250 95 Anne Page. Said I well?
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLN 1251 By gar, ’tis good. Vell said.
HOST FTLN 1252 Let us wag, then.
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLN 1253 Come at my heels, Jack Rugby.
They exit.

ACT 3
Scene 1
Enter Sir Hugh Evans (with a book and a sword)
and Simple (carrying Sir Hugh’s gown).
SIR HUGH FTLN 1254 I pray you now, good Master Slender’s servingman
FTLN 1255 and friend Simple by your name, which
FTLN 1256 way have you looked for Master Caius, that calls
FTLN 1257 himself doctor of physic?
SIMPLE FTLN 1258 5 Marry, sir, the Petty-ward, the Park-ward,
FTLN 1259 every way; Old Windsor way, and every way but
FTLN 1260 the town way.
SIR HUGH FTLN 1261 I most fehemently desire you, you will also
FTLN 1262 look that way.
SIMPLE FTLN 1263 10 I will, sir. He exits.
SIR HUGH FTLN 1264 Pless my soul, how full of cholers I am, and
FTLN 1265 trempling of mind! I shall be glad if he have deceived
FTLN 1266 me. How melancholies I am! I will knog his
FTLN 1267 urinals about his knave’s costard when I have good
FTLN 1268 15 opportunities for the ’ork. Pless my soul!
(Sings.)
FTLN 1269 To shallow rivers, to whose falls
FTLN 1270 Melodious birds sings madrigals.
FTLN 1271 There will we make our peds of roses
FTLN 1272 And a thousand fragrant posies.
FTLN 1273 20 To shallow—
FTLN 1274 Mercy on me, I have a great dispositions to cry.
89

91
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ACT 3. SC. 1
(Sings.)
FTLN 1275 Melodious birds sing madrigals—
FTLN 1276 Whenas I sat in Pabylon—
FTLN 1277 And a thousand vagram posies.
FTLN 1278 25 To shallow rivers, to whose falls
FTLN 1279 Melodious birds sings madrigals.
Enter Simple.
SIMPLE FTLN 1280 Yonder he is, coming this way, Sir Hugh.
SIR HUGH FTLN 1281 He’s welcome.
(Sings.)
FTLN 1282 To shallow rivers, to whose falls—
FTLN 1283 30 Heaven prosper the right! What weapons is he?
SIMPLE FTLN 1284 No weapons, sir. There comes my master,
FTLN 1285 Master Shallow, and another gentleman, from
FTLN 1286 Frogmore, over the stile, this way.
SIR HUGH FTLN 1287 Pray you, give me my gown—or else keep it
FTLN 1288 35 in your arms.
Enter Page, Shallow, and Slender.
SHALLOW FTLN 1289 How now, Master Parson? Good morrow,
FTLN 1290 good Sir Hugh. Keep a gamester from the dice,
FTLN 1291 and a good student from his book, and it is
FTLN 1292 wonderful.
SLENDER , aside FTLN 1293 40 Ah, sweet Anne Page!
PAGE FTLN 1294 God save you, good Sir Hugh!
SIR HUGH FTLN 1295 God pless you from His mercy sake, all of
FTLN 1296 you!
SHALLOW FTLN 1297 What, the sword and the word? Do you
FTLN 1298 45 study them both, Master Parson?
PAGE FTLN 1299 And youthful still—in your doublet and hose
FTLN 1300 this raw rheumatic day?
SIR HUGH FTLN 1301 There is reasons and causes for it.
PAGE FTLN 1302 We are come to you to do a good office, Master
FTLN 1303 50 Parson.
SIR HUGH FTLN 1304 Fery well. What is it?

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ACT 3. SC. 1
PAGE FTLN 1305 Yonder is a most reverend gentleman who, belike
FTLN 1306 having received wrong by some person, is at
FTLN 1307 most odds with his own gravity and patience that
FTLN 1308 55 ever you saw.
SHALLOW FTLN 1309 I have lived fourscore years and upward. I
FTLN 1310 never heard a man of his place, gravity, and learning
FTLN 1311 so wide of his own respect.
SIR HUGH FTLN 1312 What is he?
PAGE FTLN 1313 60 I think you know him: Master Doctor Caius, the
FTLN 1314 renowned French physician.
SIR HUGH FTLN 1315 Got’s will and His passion of my heart! I had
FTLN 1316 as lief you would tell me of a mess of porridge.
PAGE FTLN 1317 Why?
SIR HUGH FTLN 1318 65 He has no more knowledge in Hibbocrates
FTLN 1319 and Galen—and he is a knave besides, a cowardly
FTLN 1320 knave as you would desires to be acquainted
FTLN 1321 withal.
PAGE , to Shallow FTLN 1322 I warrant you, he’s the man should
FTLN 1323 70 fight with him.
SLENDER , aside FTLN 1324 O, sweet Anne Page!
SHALLOW FTLN 1325 It appears so by his weapons. Keep them
FTLN 1326 asunder. Here comes Doctor Caius.
Enter Host, Doctor Caius, and Rugby.
Caius and Sir Hugh offer to fight.
PAGE FTLN 1327 Nay, good Master Parson, keep in your weapon.
SHALLOW FTLN 1328 75 So do you, good Master Doctor.
HOST FTLN 1329 Disarm them, and let them question. Let them
FTLN 1330 keep their limbs whole and hack our English.
Page and Shallow disarm Caius and Sir Hugh.
DOCTOR CAIUS , to Sir Hugh FTLN 1331 I pray you, let-a me speak
FTLN 1332 a word with your ear. Verefore vill you not
FTLN 1333 80 meet-a me?
SIR HUGH , aside to Caius FTLN 1334 Pray you, use your patience.
FTLN 1335 (Aloud.) In good time.
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLN 1336 By gar, you are de coward, de Jack dog,
FTLN 1337 John ape.

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ACT 3. SC. 1
SIR HUGH , aside to Caius FTLN 1338 85 Pray you, let us not be
FTLN 1339 laughing-stocks to other men’s humors. I desire
FTLN 1340 you in friendship, and I will one way or other
FTLN 1341 make you amends. (Aloud.) By Jeshu, I will knog
FTLN 1342 your urinal about your knave’s cogscomb.
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLN 1343 90 Diable! Jack Rugby, mine Host de Jarteer,
FTLN 1344 have I not stay for him to kill him? Have I not,
FTLN 1345 at de place I did appoint?
SIR HUGH FTLN 1346 As I am a Christians soul, now look you, this
FTLN 1347 is the place appointed. I’ll be judgment by mine
FTLN 1348 95 Host of the Garter.
HOST FTLN 1349 Peace, I say, Gallia and Gaul, French and Welsh,
FTLN 1350 soul-curer and body-curer!
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLN 1351 Ay, dat is very good, excellent.
HOST FTLN 1352 Peace, I say! Hear mine Host of the Garter. Am
FTLN 1353 100 I politic? Am I subtle? Am I a Machiavel? Shall I
FTLN 1354 lose my doctor? No, he gives me the potions and
FTLN 1355 the motions. Shall I lose my parson, my priest, my
FTLN 1356 Sir Hugh? No, he gives me the proverbs and the
FTLN 1357 no-verbs. (To Caius.) Give me thy hand, terrestrial;
FTLN 1358 105 so. (To Sir Hugh.) Give me thy hand, celestial;
FTLN 1359 so. Boys of art, I have deceived you both. I
FTLN 1360 have directed you to wrong places. Your hearts are
FTLN 1361 mighty, your skins are whole, and let burnt sack be
FTLN 1362 the issue. (To Page and Shallow.) Come, lay their
FTLN 1363 110 swords to pawn. (To Caius and Sir Hugh.) Follow
FTLN 1364 me, lads of peace, follow, follow, follow.
Host exits.
SHALLOW FTLN 1365 Afore God, a mad Host. Follow, gentlemen,
FTLN 1366 follow.
SLENDER , aside FTLN 1367 O, sweet Anne Page!
Shallow, Page, and Slender exit.
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLN 1368 115 Ha, do I perceive dat? Have you make-a
FTLN 1369 de sot of us, ha, ha?
SIR HUGH FTLN 1370 This is well! He has made us his vloutingstog.
FTLN 1371 I desire you that we may be friends, and let

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The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 3. SC. 2
FTLN 1372 us knog our prains together to be revenge on this
FTLN 1373 120 same scall, scurvy, cogging companion, the Host of
FTLN 1374 the Garter.
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLN 1375 By gar, with all my heart. He promise
FTLN 1376 to bring me where is Anne Page. By gar, he deceive
FTLN 1377 me too.
SIR HUGH FTLN 1378 125 Well, I will smite his noddles. Pray you,
FTLN 1379 follow.
Sir Hugh, Caius, Simple, and Rugby exit.
Scene 2
Enter Robin followed by Mistress Page.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 1380 Nay, keep your way, little gallant. You
FTLN 1381 were wont to be a follower, but now you are a
FTLN 1382 leader. Whether had you rather—lead mine eyes,
FTLN 1383 or eye your master’s heels?
ROBIN FTLN 1384 5 I had rather, forsooth, go before you like a man
FTLN 1385 than follow him like a dwarf.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 1386 O, you are a flattering boy! Now I see
FTLN 1387 you’ll be a courtier.
Enter Ford.
FORD FTLN 1388 Well met, Mistress Page. Whither go you?
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 1389 10 Truly, sir, to see your wife. Is she at
FTLN 1390 home?
FORD FTLN 1391 Ay, and as idle as she may hang together, for
FTLN 1392 want of company. I think if your husbands were
FTLN 1393 dead, you two would marry.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 1394 15 Be sure of that—two other husbands.
FORD FTLN 1395 Where had you this pretty weathercock?
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 1396 I cannot tell what the dickens his name
FTLN 1397 is my husband had him of.—What do you call your
FTLN 1398 knight’s name, sirrah?
ROBIN FTLN 1399 20 Sir John Falstaff.

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ACT 3. SC. 2
FORD FTLN 1400 Sir John Falstaff!
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 1401 He, he. I can never hit on ’s name.
FTLN 1402 There is such a league between my goodman and
FTLN 1403 he. Is your wife at home indeed?
FORD FTLN 1404 25 Indeed, she is.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 1405 By your leave, sir. I am sick till I see
FTLN 1406 her. Mistress Page and Robin exit.
FORD FTLN 1407 Has Page any brains? Hath he any eyes? Hath
FTLN 1408 he any thinking? Sure they sleep; he hath no use
FTLN 1409 30 of them. Why, this boy will carry a letter twenty
FTLN 1410 mile as easy as a cannon will shoot point-blank
FTLN 1411 twelve score. He pieces out his wife’s inclination.
FTLN 1412 He gives her folly motion and advantage. And now
FTLN 1413 she’s going to my wife, and Falstaff’s boy with her.
FTLN 1414 35 A man may hear this shower sing in the wind. And
FTLN 1415 Falstaff’s boy with her! Good plots they are laid,
FTLN 1416 and our revolted wives share damnation together.
FTLN 1417 Well, I will take him, then torture my wife, pluck
FTLN 1418 the borrowed veil of modesty from the so-seeming
FTLN 1419 40 Mistress Page, divulge Page himself for a secure
FTLN 1420 and willful Acteon, and to these violent proceedings
FTLN 1421 all my neighbors shall cry aim. A clock
strikes. FTLN 1422 The clock gives me my cue, and my assurance
FTLN 1423 bids me search. There I shall find Falstaff. I
FTLN 1424 45 shall be rather praised for this than mocked, for it
FTLN 1425 is as positive as the earth is firm that Falstaff is
FTLN 1426 there. I will go.
Enter Page, Shallow, Slender, Host, Sir Hugh
Evans, Doctor Caius, and Rugby.
SHALLOW, PAGE, ETC. FTLN 1427 Well met, Master Ford.
FORD FTLN 1428 Trust me, a good knot. I have good cheer at
FTLN 1429 50 home, and I pray you all go with me.
SHALLOW FTLN 1430 I must excuse myself, Master Ford.
SLENDER FTLN 1431 And so must I, sir. We have appointed to dine
FTLN 1432 with Mistress Anne, and I would not break with
FTLN 1433 her for more money than I’ll speak of.

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The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 3. SC. 2
SHALLOW FTLN 1434 55 We have lingered about a match between
FTLN 1435 Anne Page and my cousin Slender, and this day we
FTLN 1436 shall have our answer.
SLENDER FTLN 1437 I hope I have your good will, Father Page.
PAGE FTLN 1438 You have, Master Slender. I stand wholly for
FTLN 1439 60 you.—But my wife, Master Doctor, is for you
FTLN 1440 altogether.
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLN 1441 Ay, be-gar, and de maid is love-a me! My
FTLN 1442 nursh-a Quickly tell me so mush.
HOST , to Page FTLN 1443 What say you to young Master Fenton?
FTLN 1444 65 He capers, he dances, he has eyes of youth, he
FTLN 1445 writes verses, he speaks holiday, he smells April
FTLN 1446 and May. He will carry ’t, he will carry ’t. ’Tis in his
FTLN 1447 buttons he will carry ’t.
PAGE FTLN 1448 Not by my consent, I promise you. The gentleman
FTLN 1449 70 is of no having. He kept company with the
FTLN 1450 wild Prince and Poins. He is of too high a region;
FTLN 1451 he knows too much. No, he shall not knit a knot in
FTLN 1452 his fortunes with the finger of my substance. If he
FTLN 1453 take her, let him take her simply. The wealth I have
FTLN 1454 75 waits on my consent, and my consent goes not that
FTLN 1455 way.
FORD FTLN 1456 I beseech you heartily, some of you go home
FTLN 1457 with me to dinner. Besides your cheer, you shall
FTLN 1458 have sport: I will show you a monster. Master Doctor,
FTLN 1459 80 you shall go.—So shall you, Master Page.—
FTLN 1460 And you, Sir Hugh.
SHALLOW FTLN 1461 Well, fare you well. We shall have the freer
FTLN 1462 wooing at Master Page’s.
Shallow and Slender exit.
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLN 1463 Go home, John Rugby. I come anon.
Rugby exits.
HOST FTLN 1464 85 Farewell, my hearts. I will to my honest knight
FTLN 1465 Falstaff, and drink canary with him. He exits.
FORD , aside FTLN 1466 I think I shall drink in pipe-wine first
FTLN 1467 with him; I’ll make him dance.—Will you go,
FTLN 1468 gentles?

103
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 3. SC. 3
PAGE, DOCTOR CAIUS, and SIR HUGH FTLN 1469 90 Have with you to
FTLN 1470 see this monster.
They exit.
Scene 3
Enter Mistress Ford and Mistress Page.
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 1471 What, John! What, Robert!
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 1472 Quickly, quickly! Is the buck-basket—
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 1473 I warrant.—What, Robert, I say!
Enter John and Robert with a large buck-basket.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 1474 Come, come, come.
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 1475 5 Here, set it down.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 1476 Give your men the charge. We must be
FTLN 1477 brief.
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 1478 Marry, as I told you before, John and
FTLN 1479 Robert, be ready here hard by in the brewhouse,
FTLN 1480 10 and when I suddenly call you, come forth, and
FTLN 1481 without any pause or staggering take this basket
FTLN 1482 on your shoulders. That done, trudge with it in all
FTLN 1483 haste, and carry it among the whitsters in Datchet
FTLN 1484 Mead, and there empty it in the muddy ditch close
FTLN 1485 15 by the Thames side.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 1486 You will do it?
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 1487 I ha’ told them over and over. They lack
FTLN 1488 no direction.—Be gone, and come when you are
FTLN 1489 called. John and Robert exit.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 1490 20 Here comes little Robin.
Enter Robin.
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 1491 How now, my eyas-musket? What news
FTLN 1492 with you?
ROBIN FTLN 1493 My master, Sir John, is come in at your back
FTLN 1494 door, Mistress Ford, and requests your company.

105
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 3. SC. 3
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 1495 25 You little Jack-a-Lent, have you been
FTLN 1496 true to us?
ROBIN FTLN 1497 Ay, I’ll be sworn. My master knows not of your
FTLN 1498 being here and hath threatened to put me into
FTLN 1499 everlasting liberty if I tell you of it, for he swears
FTLN 1500 30 he’ll turn me away.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 1501 Thou ’rt a good boy. This secrecy of
FTLN 1502 thine shall be a tailor to thee and shall make thee a
FTLN 1503 new doublet and hose.—I’ll go hide me.
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 1504 Do so.—Go tell thy master I am alone.
FTLN 1505 35 (Robin exits.) Mistress Page, remember you your
FTLN 1506 cue.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 1507 I warrant thee. If I do not act it, hiss
FTLN 1508 me. She exits.
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 1509 Go to, then. We’ll use this unwholesome
FTLN 1510 40 humidity, this gross-wat’ry pumpion. We’ll
FTLN 1511 teach him to know turtles from jays.
Enter Sir John Falstaff.
FALSTAFF FTLN 1512“Have I caught thee, my heavenly jewel?”
FTLN 1513 Why, now let me die, for I have lived long enough.
FTLN 1514 This is the period of my ambition. O, this blessèd
FTLN 1515 45 hour!
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 1516 O, sweet Sir John!
FALSTAFF FTLN 1517 Mistress Ford, I cannot cog. I cannot prate,
FTLN 1518 Mistress Ford. Now shall I sin in my wish: I would
FTLN 1519 thy husband were dead. I’ll speak it before the best
FTLN 1520 50 lord: I would make thee my lady.
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 1521 I your lady, Sir John? Alas, I should be
FTLN 1522 a pitiful lady.
FALSTAFF FTLN 1523 Let the court of France show me such
FTLN 1524 another. I see how thine eye would emulate the
FTLN 1525 55 diamond. Thou hast the right arched beauty of the
FTLN 1526 brow that becomes the ship-tire, the tire-valiant,
FTLN 1527 or any tire of Venetian admittance.
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 1528 A plain kerchief, Sir John. My brows
FTLN 1529 become nothing else, nor that well neither.

107
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 3. SC. 3
FALSTAFF FTLN 1530 60 Thou art a tyrant to say so. Thou wouldst
FTLN 1531 make an absolute courtier, and the firm fixture of
FTLN 1532 thy foot would give an excellent motion to thy gait
FTLN 1533 in a semicircled farthingale. I see what thou wert,
FTLN 1534 if Fortune thy foe were not, Nature thy friend.
FTLN 1535 65 Come, thou canst not hide it.
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 1536 Believe me, there’s no such thing in
FTLN 1537 me.
FALSTAFF FTLN 1538 What made me love thee? Let that persuade
FTLN 1539 thee. There’s something extraordinary in thee.
FTLN 1540 70 Come, I cannot cog and say thou art this and that
FTLN 1541 like a many of these lisping hawthorn buds that
FTLN 1542 come like women in men’s apparel and smell like
FTLN 1543 Bucklersbury in simple time. I cannot. But I love
FTLN 1544 thee, none but thee; and thou deserv’st it.
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 1545 75 Do not betray me, sir. I fear you love
FTLN 1546 Mistress Page.
FALSTAFF FTLN 1547 Thou mightst as well say I love to walk by
FTLN 1548 the Counter gate, which is as hateful to me as the
FTLN 1549 reek of a lime-kiln.
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 1550 80 Well, heaven knows how I love you,
FTLN 1551 and you shall one day find it.
FALSTAFF FTLN 1552 Keep in that mind. I’ll deserve it.
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 1553 Nay, I must tell you, so you do, or else
FTLN 1554 I could not be in that mind.
Enter Robin.
ROBIN FTLN 1555 85 Mistress Ford, Mistress Ford! Here’s Mistress
FTLN 1556 Page at the door, sweating and blowing and looking
FTLN 1557 wildly, and would needs speak with you
FTLN 1558 presently.
FALSTAFF FTLN 1559 She shall not see me. I will ensconce me behind
FTLN 1560 90 the arras.
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 1561 Pray you, do so. She’s a very tattling
FTLN 1562 woman. Falstaff stands behind the arras.

109
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 3. SC. 3
Enter Mistress Page.
FTLN 1563 What’s the matter? How now?
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 1564 O Mistress Ford, what have you done?
FTLN 1565 95 You’re shamed, you’re overthrown, you’re undone
FTLN 1566 forever!
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 1567 What’s the matter, good Mistress Page?
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 1568 O well-a-day, Mistress Ford, having an
FTLN 1569 honest man to your husband, to give him such
FTLN 1570 100 cause of suspicion!
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 1571 What cause of suspicion?
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 1572 What cause of suspicion? Out upon you!
FTLN 1573 How am I mistook in you!
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 1574 Why, alas, what’s the matter?
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 1575 105 Your husband’s coming hither, woman,
FTLN 1576 with all the officers in Windsor, to search for a gentleman
FTLN 1577 that he says is here now in the house, by
FTLN 1578 your consent, to take an ill advantage of his absence.
FTLN 1579 You are undone.
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 1580 110’Tis not so, I hope.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 1581 Pray heaven it be not so, that you have
FTLN 1582 such a man here! But ’tis most certain your husband’s
FTLN 1583 coming, with half Windsor at his heels, to
FTLN 1584 search for such a one. I come before to tell you. If
FTLN 1585 115 you know yourself clear, why, I am glad of it. But if
FTLN 1586 you have a friend here, convey, convey him out. Be
FTLN 1587 not amazed! Call all your senses to you; defend
FTLN 1588 your reputation, or bid farewell to your good life
FTLN 1589 forever.
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 1590 120 What shall I do? There is a gentleman,
FTLN 1591 my dear friend; and I fear not mine own shame so
FTLN 1592 much as his peril. I had rather than a thousand
FTLN 1593 pound he were out of the house.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 1594 For shame! Never stand “you had
FTLN 1595 125 rather” and “you had rather.” Your husband’s here
FTLN 1596 at hand. Bethink you of some conveyance. In the

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ACT 3. SC. 3
FTLN 1597 house you cannot hide him. O, how have you deceived
FTLN 1598 me! Look, here is a basket. If he be of any
FTLN 1599 reasonable stature, he may creep in here; and
FTLN 1600 130 throw foul linen upon him, as if it were going to
FTLN 1601 bucking. Or—it is whiting time—send him by your
FTLN 1602 two men to Datchet Mead.
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 1603 He’s too big to go in there. What shall I
FTLN 1604 do? Falstaff comes forward.
FALSTAFF FTLN 1605 135 Let me see ’t, let me see ’t! O, let me see ’t! I’ll
FTLN 1606 in, I’ll in. Follow your friend’s counsel. I’ll in.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 1607 What, Sir John Falstaff? (Aside to
him.) FTLN 1608 Are these your letters, knight?
FALSTAFF , aside to Mistress Page FTLN 1609 I love thee. Help me
FTLN 1610 140 away. Let me creep in here. I’ll never—
Falstaff goes into the basket; they cover
him with dirty clothes.
MISTRESS PAGE , to Robin FTLN 1611 Help to cover your master,
FTLN 1612 boy.—Call your men, Mistress Ford.—You dissembling
FTLN 1613 knight! Robin exits.
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 1614 What, John! Robert! John!
Enter Robert and John.
FTLN 1615 145 Go, take up these clothes here quickly. Where’s the
FTLN 1616 cowlstaff? Look how you drumble! Carry them to
FTLN 1617 the laundress in Datchet Mead. Quickly! Come.
Enter Ford, Page, Doctor Caius,
and Sir Hugh Evans.
FORD FTLN 1618 Pray you, come near. If I suspect without cause,
FTLN 1619 why then make sport at me. Then let me be your
FTLN 1620 150 jest; I deserve it.—How now? Whither bear you
FTLN 1621 this?
ROBERT and JOHN FTLN 1622 To the laundress, forsooth.
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 1623 Why, what have you to do whither they
FTLN 1624 bear it? You were best meddle with buck-washing!

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FORD FTLN 1625 155 Buck? I would I could wash myself of the buck.
FTLN 1626 Buck, buck, buck! Ay, buck! I warrant you, buck,
FTLN 1627 and of the season too, it shall appear.
Robert and John exit with the buck-basket.
FTLN 1628 Gentlemen, I have dreamed tonight; I’ll tell you my
FTLN 1629 dream. Here, here, here be my keys. Ascend my
FTLN 1630 160 chambers. Search, seek, find out. I’ll warrant we’ll
FTLN 1631 unkennel the fox. Let me stop this way first. (He
locks the door.) FTLN 1632 So, now uncape.
PAGE FTLN 1633 Good Master Ford, be contented. You wrong
FTLN 1634 yourself too much.
FORD FTLN 1635 165 True, Master Page.—Up, gentlemen. You shall
FTLN 1636 see sport anon. Follow me, gentlemen. He exits.
SIR HUGH FTLN 1637 This is fery fantastical humors and
FTLN 1638 jealousies.
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLN 1639 By gar, ’tis no the fashion of France. It is
FTLN 1640 170 not jealous in France.
PAGE FTLN 1641 Nay, follow him, gentlemen. See the issue of his
FTLN 1642 search. Page, Sir Hugh, and Caius exit.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 1643 Is there not a double excellency in this?
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 1644 I know not which pleases me better—
FTLN 1645 175 that my husband is deceived, or Sir John.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 1646 What a taking was he in when your
FTLN 1647 husband asked who was in the basket!
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 1648 I am half afraid he will have need of
FTLN 1649 washing, so throwing him into the water will do
FTLN 1650 180 him a benefit.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 1651 Hang him, dishonest rascal! I would all
FTLN 1652 of the same strain were in the same distress.
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 1653 I think my husband hath some special
FTLN 1654 suspicion of Falstaff’s being here, for I never saw
FTLN 1655 185 him so gross in his jealousy till now.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 1656 I will lay a plot to try that, and we will
FTLN 1657 yet have more tricks with Falstaff. His dissolute
FTLN 1658 disease will scarce obey this medicine.
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 1659 Shall we send that foolish carrion Mistress

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FTLN 1660 190 Quickly to him, and excuse his throwing into
FTLN 1661 the water, and give him another hope, to betray
FTLN 1662 him to another punishment?
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 1663 We will do it. Let him be sent for tomorrow
FTLN 1664 eight o’clock to have amends.
Enter Ford, Page, Doctor Caius, and Sir Hugh.
FORD FTLN 1665 195 I cannot find him. Maybe the knave bragged of
FTLN 1666 that he could not compass.
MISTRESS PAGE , aside to Mistress Ford FTLN 1667 Heard you
FTLN 1668 that?
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 1669 You use me well, Master Ford, do you?
FORD FTLN 1670 200 Ay, I do so.
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 1671 Heaven make you better than your
FTLN 1672 thoughts!
FORD FTLN 1673 Amen!
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 1674 You do yourself mighty wrong, Master
FTLN 1675 205 Ford.
FORD FTLN 1676 Ay, ay. I must bear it.
SIR HUGH FTLN 1677 If there be anypody in the house, and in the
FTLN 1678 chambers, and in the coffers, and in the presses,
FTLN 1679 heaven forgive my sins at the day of judgment!
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLN 1680 210 Be gar, nor I too. There is nobodies.
PAGE FTLN 1681 Fie, fie, Master Ford, are you not ashamed?
FTLN 1682 What spirit, what devil suggests this imagination?
FTLN 1683 I would not ha’ your distemper in this kind for the
FTLN 1684 wealth of Windsor Castle.
FORD FTLN 1685 215’Tis my fault, Master Page. I suffer for it.
SIR HUGH FTLN 1686 You suffer for a pad conscience. Your wife is
FTLN 1687 as honest a ’omans as I will desires among five
FTLN 1688 thousand, and five hundred too.
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLN 1689 By gar, I see ’tis an honest woman.
FORD FTLN 1690 220 Well, I promised you a dinner. Come, come,
FTLN 1691 walk in the park. I pray you, pardon me. I will
FTLN 1692 hereafter make known to you why I have done

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ACT 3. SC. 4
FTLN 1693 this.—Come, wife—come, Mistress Page, I pray
FTLN 1694 you, pardon me. Pray, heartily, pardon me.
Mistress Page and Mistress Ford exit.
PAGE , to Caius and Sir Hugh FTLN 1695 225 Let’s go in, gentlemen.
FTLN 1696 But, trust me, we’ll mock him. (To Ford, Caius,
and Sir Hugh.) FTLN 1697 I do invite you tomorrow morning
FTLN 1698 to my house to breakfast. After, we’ll a-birding together;
FTLN 1699 I have a fine hawk for the bush. Shall it be
FTLN 1700 230 so?
FORD FTLN 1701 Anything.
SIR HUGH FTLN 1702 If there is one, I shall make two in the
FTLN 1703 company.
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLN 1704 If there be one or two, I shall make-a the
FTLN 1705 235 turd.
FORD FTLN 1706 Pray you, go, Master Page.
Ford and Page exit.
SIR HUGH FTLN 1707 I pray you now, remembrance tomorrow on
FTLN 1708 the lousy knave mine Host.
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLN 1709 Dat is good, by gar, with all my heart.
SIR HUGH FTLN 1710 240 A lousy knave, to have his gibes and his
FTLN 1711 mockeries!
They exit.
Scene 4
Enter Fenton and Anne Page.
FENTON
FTLN 1712 I see I cannot get thy father’s love;
FTLN 1713 Therefore no more turn me to him, sweet Nan.
ANNE
FTLN 1714 Alas, how then?
FENTON FTLN 1715 Why, thou must be thyself.
FTLN 1716 5 He doth object I am too great of birth,
FTLN 1717 And that, my state being galled with my expense,
FTLN 1718 I seek to heal it only by his wealth.

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FTLN 1719 Besides these, other bars he lays before me—
FTLN 1720 My riots past, my wild societies—
FTLN 1721 10 And tells me ’tis a thing impossible
FTLN 1722 I should love thee but as a property.
ANNE FTLN 1723 Maybe he tells you true.
FENTON
FTLN 1724 No, heaven so speed me in my time to come!
FTLN 1725 Albeit I will confess thy father’s wealth
FTLN 1726 15 Was the first motive that I wooed thee, Anne,
FTLN 1727 Yet, wooing thee, I found thee of more value
FTLN 1728 Than stamps in gold or sums in sealèd bags.
FTLN 1729 And ’tis the very riches of thyself
FTLN 1730 That now I aim at.
ANNE FTLN 1731 20 Gentle Master Fenton,
FTLN 1732 Yet seek my father’s love, still seek it, sir.
FTLN 1733 If opportunity and humblest suit
FTLN 1734 Cannot attain it, why then—hark you hither.
They talk aside.
Enter Shallow, Slender, and Mistress Quickly.
SHALLOW FTLN 1735 Break their talk, Mistress Quickly. My kinsman
FTLN 1736 25 shall speak for himself.
SLENDER FTLN 1737 I’ll make a shaft or a bolt on ’t. ’Slid, ’tis but
FTLN 1738 venturing.
SHALLOW FTLN 1739 Be not dismayed.
SLENDER FTLN 1740 No, she shall not dismay me. I care not for
FTLN 1741 30 that, but that I am afeard.
MISTRESS QUICKLY , to Anne FTLN 1742 Hark ye, Master Slender
FTLN 1743 would speak a word with you.
ANNE
FTLN 1744 I come to him. (Aside.) This is my father’s choice.
FTLN 1745 O, what a world of vile ill-favored faults
FTLN 1746 35 Looks handsome in three hundred pounds a year!
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLN 1747 And how does good Master Fenton?
FTLN 1748 Pray you, a word with you. They talk aside.
SHALLOW , to Slender FTLN 1749 She’s coming. To her, coz! O
FTLN 1750 boy, thou hadst a father!

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ACT 3. SC. 4
SLENDER FTLN 1751 40 I had a father, Mistress Anne; my uncle can
FTLN 1752 tell you good jests of him.—Pray you, uncle, tell
FTLN 1753 Mistress Anne the jest how my father stole two
FTLN 1754 geese out of a pen, good uncle.
SHALLOW FTLN 1755 Mistress Anne, my cousin loves you.
SLENDER FTLN 1756 45 Ay, that I do, as well as I love any woman in
FTLN 1757 Gloucestershire.
SHALLOW FTLN 1758 He will maintain you like a gentlewoman.
SLENDER FTLN 1759 Ay, that I will, come cut and longtail, under
FTLN 1760 the degree of a squire.
SHALLOW FTLN 1761 50 He will make you a hundred and fifty
FTLN 1762 pounds jointure.
ANNE FTLN 1763 Good Master Shallow, let him woo for himself.
SHALLOW FTLN 1764 Marry, I thank you for it. I thank you for that
FTLN 1765 good comfort.—She calls you, coz. I’ll leave you.
He steps aside.
ANNE FTLN 1766 55 Now, Master Slender.
SLENDER FTLN 1767 Now, good Mistress Anne.
ANNE FTLN 1768 What is your will?
SLENDER FTLN 1769 My will? ’Od’s heartlings, that’s a pretty jest
FTLN 1770 indeed! I ne’er made my will yet, I thank heaven. I
FTLN 1771 60 am not such a sickly creature, I give heaven praise.
ANNE FTLN 1772 I mean, Master Slender, what would you with
FTLN 1773 me?
SLENDER FTLN 1774 Truly, for mine own part, I would little or
FTLN 1775 nothing with you. Your father and my uncle hath
FTLN 1776 65 made motions. If it be my luck, so; if not, happy
FTLN 1777 man be his dole. They can tell you how things go
FTLN 1778 better than I can. You may ask your father.
Enter Page and Mistress Page.
FTLN 1779 Here he comes.
PAGE
FTLN 1780 Now, Master Slender.—Love him, daughter Anne.—
FTLN 1781 70 Why, how now? What does Master Fenton here?

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FTLN 1782 You wrong me, sir, thus still to haunt my house.
FTLN 1783 I told you, sir, my daughter is disposed of.
FENTON
FTLN 1784 Nay, Master Page, be not impatient.
MISTRESS PAGE
FTLN 1785 Good Master Fenton, come not to my child.
PAGE FTLN 1786 75 She is no match for you.
FENTON FTLN 1787 Sir, will you hear me?
PAGE FTLN 1788 No, good Master Fenton.—
FTLN 1789 Come Master Shallow.—Come, son Slender, in.—
FTLN 1790 Knowing my mind, you wrong me, Master Fenton.
Page, Shallow, and Slender exit.
MISTRESS QUICKLY , to Fenton FTLN 1791 80 Speak to Mistress Page.
FENTON
FTLN 1792 Good Mistress Page, for that I love your daughter
FTLN 1793 In such a righteous fashion as I do,
FTLN 1794 Perforce, against all checks, rebukes, and manners,
FTLN 1795 I must advance the colors of my love
FTLN 1796 85 And not retire. Let me have your good will.
ANNE
FTLN 1797 Good mother, do not marry me to yond fool.
MISTRESS PAGE
FTLN 1798 I mean it not; I seek you a better husband.
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLN 1799 That’s my master, Master Doctor.
ANNE
FTLN 1800 Alas, I had rather be set quick i’ th’ earth
FTLN 1801 90 And bowled to death with turnips!
MISTRESS PAGE
FTLN 1802 Come, trouble not yourself.—Good Master Fenton,
FTLN 1803 I will not be your friend nor enemy.
FTLN 1804 My daughter will I question how she loves you,
FTLN 1805 And as I find her, so am I affected.
FTLN 1806 95 Till then, farewell, sir. She must needs go in;
FTLN 1807 Her father will be angry.
FENTON
FTLN 1808 Farewell, gentle mistress.—Farewell, Nan.
Mistress Page and Anne Page exit.

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MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLN 1809 This is my doing now. “Nay,” said I,
FTLN 1810 “will you cast away your child on a fool and a
FTLN 1811 100 physician? Look on Master Fenton.” This is my
FTLN 1812 doing.
FENTON
FTLN 1813 I thank thee; and I pray thee, once tonight
FTLN 1814 Give my sweet Nan this ring. There’s for thy pains.
He gives her money and a ring.
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLN 1815 Now heaven send thee good fortune.
Fenton exits.
FTLN 1816 105 A kind heart he hath. A woman would run through
FTLN 1817 fire and water for such a kind heart. But yet I
FTLN 1818 would my master had Mistress Anne, or I would
FTLN 1819 Master Slender had her, or, in sooth, I would Master
FTLN 1820 Fenton had her. I will do what I can for them all
FTLN 1821 110 three; for so I have promised and I’ll be as good as
FTLN 1822 my word—but speciously for Master Fenton. Well,
FTLN 1823 I must of another errand to Sir John Falstaff from
FTLN 1824 my two mistresses. What a beast am I to slack it!
She exits.
Scene 5
Enter Sir John Falstaff.
FALSTAFF FTLN 1825 Bardolph, I say!
Enter Bardolph.
BARDOLPH FTLN 1826 Here, sir.
FALSTAFF FTLN 1827 Go fetch me a quart of sack; put a toast in ’t.
Bardolph exits.
FTLN 1828 Have I lived to be carried in a basket like a barrow
FTLN 1829 5 of butcher’s offal, and to be thrown in the Thames?
FTLN 1830 Well, if I be served such another trick, I’ll have my
FTLN 1831 brains ta’en out and buttered, and give them to a
FTLN 1832 dog for a New Year’s gift. ’Sblood, the rogues

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FTLN 1833 slighted me into the river with as little remorse as
FTLN 1834 10 they would have drowned a blind bitch’s puppies,
FTLN 1835 fifteen i’ th’ litter! And you may know by my size
FTLN 1836 that I have a kind of alacrity in sinking; if the bottom
FTLN 1837 were as deep as hell, I should down. I had
FTLN 1838 been drowned, but that the shore was shelvy and
FTLN 1839 15 shallow—a death that I abhor, for the water swells
FTLN 1840 a man, and what a thing should I have been when
FTLN 1841 I had been swelled! By the Lord, I should have
FTLN 1842 been a mountain of mummy.
Enter Bardolph with cups of sack.
BARDOLPH FTLN 1843 Here’s Mistress Quickly, sir, to speak with
FTLN 1844 20 you.
FALSTAFF FTLN 1845 Come, let me pour in some sack to the
FTLN 1846 Thames water, for my belly’s as cold as if I had
FTLN 1847 swallowed snowballs for pills to cool the reins. He
drinks. FTLN 1848 Call her in.
BARDOLPH FTLN 1849 25 Come in, woman.
Enter Mistress Quickly.
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLN 1850 By your leave, I cry you mercy. Give
FTLN 1851 your Worship good morrow.
FALSTAFF , to Bardolph FTLN 1852 Take away these chalices. Go
FTLN 1853 brew me a pottle of sack finely.
BARDOLPH FTLN 1854 30 With eggs, sir?
FALSTAFF FTLN 1855 Simple of itself. I’ll no pullet sperm in my
FTLN 1856 brewage. Bardolph exits.
FTLN 1857 How now?
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLN 1858 Marry, sir, I come to your Worship
FTLN 1859 35 from Mistress Ford.
FALSTAFF FTLN 1860 Mistress Ford? I have had ford enough. I
FTLN 1861 was thrown into the ford, I have my belly full of
FTLN 1862 ford.
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLN 1863 Alas the day, good heart, that was
FTLN 1864 40 not her fault. She does so take on with her men;
FTLN 1865 they mistook their erection.

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ACT 3. SC. 5
FALSTAFF FTLN 1866 So did I mine, to build upon a foolish
FTLN 1867 woman’s promise.
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLN 1868 Well, she laments, sir, for it, that it
FTLN 1869 45 would yearn your heart to see it. Her husband goes
FTLN 1870 this morning a-birding; she desires you once more
FTLN 1871 to come to her, between eight and nine. I must
FTLN 1872 carry her word quickly. She’ll make you amends, I
FTLN 1873 warrant you.
FALSTAFF FTLN 1874 50 Well, I will visit her. Tell her so. And bid her
FTLN 1875 think what a man is. Let her consider his frailty,
FTLN 1876 and then judge of my merit.
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLN 1877 I will tell her.
FALSTAFF FTLN 1878 Do so. Between nine and ten, say’st thou?
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLN 1879 55 Eight and nine, sir.
FALSTAFF FTLN 1880 Well, be gone. I will not miss her.
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLN 1881 Peace be with you, sir.
Mistress Quickly exits.
FALSTAFF FTLN 1882 I marvel I hear not of Master Brook. He
FTLN 1883 sent me word to stay within. I like his money well.
Enter Ford disguised as Brook.
FTLN 1884 60 O, here he comes.
FORD , as Brook FTLN 1885 God bless you, sir.
FALSTAFF FTLN 1886 Now, Master Brook, you come to know
FTLN 1887 what hath passed between me and Ford’s wife.
FORD , as Brook FTLN 1888 That indeed, Sir John, is my
FTLN 1889 65 business.
FALSTAFF FTLN 1890 Master Brook, I will not lie to you. I was at
FTLN 1891 her house the hour she appointed me.
FORD , as Brook FTLN 1892 And sped you, sir?
FALSTAFF FTLN 1893 Very ill-favoredly, Master Brook.
FORD , as Brook FTLN 1894 70 How so, sir? Did she change her
FTLN 1895 determination?
FALSTAFF FTLN 1896 No, Master Brook, but the peaking cornuto
FTLN 1897 her husband, Master Brook, dwelling in a continual
FTLN 1898 ’larum of jealousy, comes me in the instant of

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ACT 3. SC. 5
FTLN 1899 75 our encounter, after we had embraced, kissed,
FTLN 1900 protested, and, as it were, spoke the prologue of
FTLN 1901 our comedy, and, at his heels, a rabble of his companions,
FTLN 1902 thither provoked and instigated by his
FTLN 1903 distemper, and, forsooth, to search his house for
FTLN 1904 80 his wife’s love.
FORD , as Brook FTLN 1905 What, while you were there?
FALSTAFF FTLN 1906 While I was there.
FORD , as Brook FTLN 1907 And did he search for you and could
FTLN 1908 not find you?
FALSTAFF FTLN 1909 85 You shall hear. As good luck would have it,
FTLN 1910 comes in one Mistress Page, gives intelligence of
FTLN 1911 Ford’s approach, and, in her invention and Ford’s
FTLN 1912 wife’s distraction, they conveyed me into a
FTLN 1913 buck-basket.
FORD , as Brook FTLN 1914 90 A buck-basket!
FALSTAFF FTLN 1915 By the Lord, a buck-basket! Rammed me
FTLN 1916 in with foul shirts and smocks, socks, foul stockings,
FTLN 1917 greasy napkins, that, Master Brook, there
FTLN 1918 was the rankest compound of villainous smell that
FTLN 1919 95 ever offended nostril.
FORD , as Brook FTLN 1920 And how long lay you there?
FALSTAFF FTLN 1921 Nay, you shall hear, Master Brook, what I
FTLN 1922 have suffered to bring this woman to evil for your
FTLN 1923 good. Being thus crammed in the basket, a couple
FTLN 1924 100 of Ford’s knaves, his hinds, were called forth by
FTLN 1925 their mistress to carry me in the name of foul
FTLN 1926 clothes to Datchet Lane. They took me on their
FTLN 1927 shoulders, met the jealous knave their master in
FTLN 1928 the door, who asked them once or twice what they
FTLN 1929 105 had in their basket. I quaked for fear lest the lunatic
FTLN 1930 knave would have searched it, but fate, ordaining
FTLN 1931 he should be a cuckold, held his hand.
FTLN 1932 Well, on went he for a search, and away went I for
FTLN 1933 foul clothes. But mark the sequel, Master Brook.
FTLN 1934 110 I suffered the pangs of three several deaths: first,

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The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 3. SC. 5
FTLN 1935 an intolerable fright to be detected with a jealous
FTLN 1936 rotten bellwether; next, to be compassed, like a
FTLN 1937 good bilbo, in the circumference of a peck, hilt to
FTLN 1938 point, heel to head; and then, to be stopped in, like
FTLN 1939 115 a strong distillation, with stinking clothes that fretted
FTLN 1940 in their own grease. Think of that, a man of my
FTLN 1941 kidney—think of that—that am as subject to heat
FTLN 1942 as butter; a man of continual dissolution and thaw.
FTLN 1943 It was a miracle to ’scape suffocation. And in
FTLN 1944 120 the height of this bath, when I was more than half-stewed
FTLN 1945 in grease, like a Dutch dish, to be thrown
FTLN 1946 into the Thames and cooled, glowing hot, in that
FTLN 1947 surge, like a horseshoe! Think of that—hissing
FTLN 1948 hot—think of that, Master Brook.
FORD , as Brook FTLN 1949 125 In good sadness, sir, I am sorry that
FTLN 1950 for my sake you have suffered all this. My suit,
FTLN 1951 then, is desperate. You’ll undertake her no more?
FALSTAFF FTLN 1952 Master Brook, I will be thrown into Etna,
FTLN 1953 as I have been into Thames, ere I will leave her
FTLN 1954 130 thus. Her husband is this morning gone a-birding.
FTLN 1955 I have received from her another embassy of meeting.
FTLN 1956 ’Twixt eight and nine is the hour, Master
FTLN 1957 Brook.
FORD , as Brook FTLN 1958’Tis past eight already, sir.
FALSTAFF FTLN 1959 135 Is it? I will then address me to my appointment.
FTLN 1960 Come to me at your convenient leisure,
FTLN 1961 and you shall know how I speed; and the conclusion
FTLN 1962 shall be crowned with your enjoying her.
FTLN 1963 Adieu. You shall have her, Master Brook. Master
FTLN 1964 140 Brook, you shall cuckold Ford. Falstaff exits.
FORD FTLN 1965 Hum! Ha! Is this a vision? Is this a dream? Do I
FTLN 1966 sleep? Master Ford, awake! Awake, Master Ford!
FTLN 1967 There’s a hole made in your best coat, Master
FTLN 1968 Ford. This ’tis to be married; this ’tis to have linen
FTLN 1969 145 and buck-baskets! Well, I will proclaim myself
FTLN 1970 what I am. I will now take the lecher. He is at my

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ACT 3. SC. 5
FTLN 1971 house. He cannot ’scape me. ’Tis impossible he
FTLN 1972 should. He cannot creep into a half-penny purse,
FTLN 1973 nor into a pepper-box. But lest the devil that
FTLN 1974 150 guides him should aid him, I will search impossible
FTLN 1975 places. Though what I am I cannot avoid, yet to
FTLN 1976 be what I would not shall not make me tame. If I
FTLN 1977 have horns to make one mad, let the proverb go
FTLN 1978 with me: I’ll be horn-mad.
He exits.

ACT 4
Scene 1
Enter Mistress Page, Mistress Quickly, and William.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 1979 Is he at Master Ford’s already, think’st
FTLN 1980 thou?
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLN 1981 Sure he is by this, or will be presently.
FTLN 1982 But truly he is very courageous mad about
FTLN 1983 5 his throwing into the water. Mistress Ford desires
FTLN 1984 you to come suddenly.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 1985 I’ll be with her by and by. I’ll but bring
FTLN 1986 my young man here to school.
Enter Sir Hugh Evans.
FTLN 1987 Look where his master comes. ’Tis a playing day, I
FTLN 1988 10 see.—How now, Sir Hugh, no school today?
SIR HUGH FTLN 1989 No. Master Slender is let the boys leave to
FTLN 1990 play.
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLN 1991 Blessing of his heart!
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 1992 Sir Hugh, my husband says my son
FTLN 1993 15 profits nothing in the world at his book. I pray you,
FTLN 1994 ask him some questions in his accidence.
SIR HUGH FTLN 1995 Come hither, William. Hold up your head.
FTLN 1996 Come.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 1997 Come on, sirrah. Hold up your head.
FTLN 1998 20 Answer your master. Be not afraid.
SIR HUGH FTLN 1999 William, how many numbers is in nouns?
WILLIAM FTLN 2000 Two.
139

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ACT 4. SC. 1
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLN 2001 Truly, I thought there had been one
FTLN 2002 number more, because they say “’Od’s nouns.”
SIR HUGH FTLN 2003 25 Peace your tattlings!—What is “fair,”
FTLN 2004 William?
WILLIAM FTLN 2005 Pulcher.
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLN 2006 Polecats? There are fairer things
FTLN 2007 than polecats, sure.
SIR HUGH FTLN 2008 30 You are a very simplicity ’oman. I pray you,
FTLN 2009 peace.—What is lapis, William?
WILLIAM FTLN 2010 A stone.
SIR HUGH FTLN 2011 And what is “a stone,” William?
WILLIAM FTLN 2012 A pebble.
SIR HUGH FTLN 2013 35 No. It is lapis. I pray you, remember in your
FTLN 2014 prain.
WILLIAM FTLN 2015 Lapis.
SIR HUGH FTLN 2016 That is a good William. What is he, William,
FTLN 2017 that does lend articles?
WILLIAM FTLN 2018 40 Articles are borrowed of the pronoun and be
FTLN 2019 thus declined: singulariter, nominativo, hic, haec,
FTLN 2020 hoc.
SIR HUGH FTLN 2021 Nominativo, hig, haeg, hog. Pray you, mark:
FTLN 2022 genitivo, huius. Well, what is your accusative case?
WILLIAM FTLN 2023 45 Accusativo, hinc.
SIR HUGH FTLN 2024 I pray you, have your remembrance, child.
FTLN 2025 Accusativo, hung, hang, hog.
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLN 2026“Hang-hog” is Latin for bacon, I
FTLN 2027 warrant you.
SIR HUGH FTLN 2028 50 Leave your prabbles, ’oman.—What is the
FTLN 2029 focative case, William?
WILLIAM FTLN 2030 O—vocativo—O—
SIR HUGH FTLN 2031 Remember, William, focative is caret.
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLN 2032 And that’s a good root.
SIR HUGH FTLN 2033 55’Oman, forbear.
MISTRESS PAGE , to Mistress Quickly FTLN 2034 Peace!
SIR HUGH FTLN 2035 What is your genitive case plural, William?
WILLIAM FTLN 2036 Genitive case?

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ACT 4. SC. 2
SIR HUGH FTLN 2037 Ay.
WILLIAM FTLN 2038 60 Genitive: horum, harum, horum.
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLN 2039 Vengeance of Ginny’s case! Fie on
FTLN 2040 her! Never name her, child, if she be a whore.
SIR HUGH FTLN 2041 For shame, ’oman!
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLN 2042 You do ill to teach the child such
FTLN 2043 65 words.—He teaches him to hick and to hack,
FTLN 2044 which they’ll do fast enough of themselves, and to
FTLN 2045 call “whorum.”—Fie upon you!
SIR HUGH FTLN 2046’Oman, art thou lunatics? Hast thou no understandings
FTLN 2047 for thy cases and the numbers of the
FTLN 2048 70 genders? Thou art as foolish Christian creatures as
FTLN 2049 I would desires.
MISTRESS PAGE , to Mistress Quickly FTLN 2050 Prithee, hold thy
FTLN 2051 peace.
SIR HUGH FTLN 2052 Show me now, William, some declensions of
FTLN 2053 75 your pronouns.
WILLIAM FTLN 2054 Forsooth, I have forgot.
SIR HUGH FTLN 2055 It is qui, quae, quod. If you forget your qui’s,
FTLN 2056 your quae’s, and your quod’s, you must be
FTLN 2057 preeches. Go your ways and play, go.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 2058 80 He is a better scholar than I thought he
FTLN 2059 was.
SIR HUGH FTLN 2060 He is a good sprag memory. Farewell, Mistress
FTLN 2061 Page.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 2062 Adieu, good Sir Hugh.—Get you home,
FTLN 2063 85 boy. (To Mistress Quickly.) Come. We stay too
FTLN 2064 long.
They exit.
Scene 2
Enter Sir John Falstaff and Mistress Ford.
FALSTAFF FTLN 2065 Mistress Ford, your sorrow hath eaten up
FTLN 2066 my sufferance. I see you are obsequious in your
FTLN 2067 love, and I profess requital to a hair’s breadth, not

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ACT 4. SC. 2
FTLN 2068 only, Mistress Ford, in the simple office of love,
FTLN 2069 5 but in all the accoutrement, compliment, and ceremony
FTLN 2070 of it. But are you sure of your husband now?
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 2071 He’s a-birding, sweet Sir John.
MISTRESS PAGE , within FTLN 2072 What ho, gossip Ford! What
FTLN 2073 ho!
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 2074 10 Step into th’ chamber, Sir John.
Falstaff exits.
Enter Mistress Page.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 2075 How now, sweetheart, who’s at home
FTLN 2076 besides yourself?
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 2077 Why, none but mine own people.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 2078 Indeed?
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 2079 15 No, certainly. Aside to her. Speak
FTLN 2080 louder.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 2081 Truly, I am so glad you have nobody
FTLN 2082 here.
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 2083 Why?
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 2084 20 Why, woman, your husband is in his
FTLN 2085 old lunes again. He so takes on yonder with my
FTLN 2086 husband, so rails against all married mankind, so
FTLN 2087 curses all Eve’s daughters of what complexion soever,
FTLN 2088 and so buffets himself on the forehead, crying
FTLN 2089 25 “Peer out, peer out!” that any madness I ever yet
FTLN 2090 beheld seemed but tameness, civility, and patience
FTLN 2091 to this his distemper he is in now. I am glad the fat
FTLN 2092 knight is not here.
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 2093 Why, does he talk of him?
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 2094 30 Of none but him, and swears he was
FTLN 2095 carried out, the last time he searched for him, in a
FTLN 2096 basket; protests to my husband he is now here;
FTLN 2097 and hath drawn him and the rest of their company
FTLN 2098 from their sport to make another experiment of
FTLN 2099 35 his suspicion. But I am glad the knight is not here.
FTLN 2100 Now he shall see his own foolery.

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The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 4. SC. 2
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 2101 How near is he, Mistress Page?
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 2102 Hard by, at street end. He will be here
FTLN 2103 anon.
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 2104 40 I am undone! The knight is here.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 2105 Why then, you are utterly shamed, and
FTLN 2106 he’s but a dead man. What a woman are you! Away
FTLN 2107 with him, away with him! Better shame than
FTLN 2108 murder.
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 2109 45 Which way should he go? How should
FTLN 2110 I bestow him? Shall I put him into the basket
FTLN 2111 again?
Enter Sir John Falstaff.
FALSTAFF FTLN 2112 No, I’ll come no more i’ th’ basket. May I not
FTLN 2113 go out ere he come?
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 2114 50 Alas, three of Master Ford’s brothers
FTLN 2115 watch the door with pistols, that none shall issue
FTLN 2116 out. Otherwise you might slip away ere he came.
FTLN 2117 But what make you here?
FALSTAFF FTLN 2118 What shall I do? I’ll creep up into the
FTLN 2119 55 chimney.
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 2120 There they always use to discharge
FTLN 2121 their birding pieces.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 2122 Creep into the kiln-hole.
FALSTAFF FTLN 2123 Where is it?
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 2124 60 He will seek there, on my word. Neither
FTLN 2125 press, coffer, chest, trunk, well, vault, but he
FTLN 2126 hath an abstract for the remembrance of such
FTLN 2127 places, and goes to them by his note. There is no
FTLN 2128 hiding you in the house.
FALSTAFF FTLN 2129 65 I’ll go out, then.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 2130 If you go out in your own semblance,
FTLN 2131 you die, Sir John—unless you go out disguised.
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 2132 How might we disguise him?
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 2133 Alas the day, I know not. There is no
FTLN 2134 70 woman’s gown big enough for him; otherwise he

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ACT 4. SC. 2
FTLN 2135 might put on a hat, a muffler, and a kerchief, and
FTLN 2136 so escape.
FALSTAFF FTLN 2137 Good hearts, devise something. Any extremity
FTLN 2138 rather than a mischief.
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 2139 75 My maid’s aunt, the fat woman of
FTLN 2140 Brentford, has a gown above.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 2141 On my word, it will serve him. She’s as
FTLN 2142 big as he is. And there’s her thrummed hat and her
FTLN 2143 muffler too.—Run up, Sir John.
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 2144 80 Go, go, sweet Sir John. Mistress Page
FTLN 2145 and I will look some linen for your head.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 2146 Quick, quick! We’ll come dress you
FTLN 2147 straight. Put on the gown the while.
Falstaff exits.
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 2148 I would my husband would meet him
FTLN 2149 85 in this shape. He cannot abide the old woman of
FTLN 2150 Brentford. He swears she’s a witch, forbade her my
FTLN 2151 house, and hath threatened to beat her.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 2152 Heaven guide him to thy husband’s
FTLN 2153 cudgel, and the devil guide his cudgel afterwards!
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 2154 90 But is my husband coming?
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 2155 Ay, in good sadness is he, and talks of
FTLN 2156 the basket too, howsoever he hath had
FTLN 2157 intelligence.
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 2158 We’ll try that; for I’ll appoint my men
FTLN 2159 95 to carry the basket again, to meet him at the door
FTLN 2160 with it as they did last time.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 2161 Nay, but he’ll be here presently. Let’s go
FTLN 2162 dress him like the witch of Brentford.
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 2163 I’ll first direct my men what they shall
FTLN 2164 100 do with the basket. Go up. I’ll bring linen for him
FTLN 2165 straight. She exits.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 2166 Hang him, dishonest varlet! We cannot
FTLN 2167 misuse him enough.
FTLN 2168 We’ll leave a proof, by that which we will do,
FTLN 2169 105 Wives may be merry and yet honest too.

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ACT 4. SC. 2
FTLN 2170 We do not act that often jest and laugh;
FTLN 2171 ’Tis old but true: “Still swine eats all the draff.”
She exits.
Enter Mistress Ford with Robert and John,
who bring the buck-basket.
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 2172 Go, sirs, take the basket again on your
FTLN 2173 shoulders. Your master is hard at door. If he bid
FTLN 2174 110 you set it down, obey him. Quickly, dispatch.
She exits.
ROBERT FTLN 2175 Come, come, take it up.
JOHN FTLN 2176 Pray heaven it be not full of knight again.
ROBERT FTLN 2177 I hope not. I had lief as bear so much lead.
They pick up the basket.
Enter Ford, Page, Doctor Caius, Sir Hugh
Evans, and Shallow.
FORD FTLN 2178 Ay, but if it prove true, Master Page, have you
FTLN 2179 115 any way then to unfool me again?—Set down the
FTLN 2180 basket, villain. They put the basket down. Somebody
FTLN 2181 call my wife. Youth in a basket! O, you panderly
FTLN 2182 rascals! There’s a knot, a gang, a pack, a
FTLN 2183 conspiracy against me. Now shall the devil be
FTLN 2184 120 shamed.—What, wife, I say! Come, come forth!
FTLN 2185 Behold what honest clothes you send forth to
FTLN 2186 bleaching!
PAGE FTLN 2187 Why, this passes, Master Ford! You are not to go
FTLN 2188 loose any longer; you must be pinioned.
SIR HUGH FTLN 2189 125 Why, this is lunatics. This is mad as a mad
FTLN 2190 dog.
SHALLOW FTLN 2191 Indeed, Master Ford, this is not well, indeed.
FORD FTLN 2192 So say I too, sir.
Enter Mistress Ford.
FTLN 2193 Come hither, Mistress Ford.—Mistress Ford, the
FTLN 2194 130 honest woman, the modest wife, the virtuous creature,

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The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 4. SC. 2
FTLN 2195 that hath the jealous fool to her husband!—I
FTLN 2196 suspect without cause, mistress, do I?
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 2197 Heaven be my witness you do, if you
FTLN 2198 suspect me in any dishonesty.
FORD FTLN 2199 135 Well said, brazen-face. Hold it out.—Come
FTLN 2200 forth, sirrah. He pulls clothes out of the basket.
PAGE FTLN 2201 This passes.
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 2202 Are you not ashamed? Let the clothes
FTLN 2203 alone.
FORD FTLN 2204 140 I shall find you anon.
SIR HUGH FTLN 2205’Tis unreasonable. Will you take up your
FTLN 2206 wife’s clothes? Come, away.
FORD , to the Servants FTLN 2207 Empty the basket, I say.
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 2208 Why, man, why?
FORD FTLN 2209 145 Master Page, as I am a man, there was one conveyed
FTLN 2210 out of my house yesterday in this basket.
FTLN 2211 Why may not he be there again? In my house I am
FTLN 2212 sure he is. My intelligence is true, my jealousy is
FTLN 2213 reasonable.—Pluck me out all the linen.
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 2214 150 If you find a man there, he shall die a
FTLN 2215 flea’s death. Robert and John empty the basket.
PAGE FTLN 2216 Here’s no man.
SHALLOW FTLN 2217 By my fidelity, this is not well, Master Ford.
FTLN 2218 This wrongs you.
SIR HUGH FTLN 2219 155 Master Ford, you must pray, and not follow
FTLN 2220 the imaginations of your own heart. This is
FTLN 2221 jealousies.
FORD FTLN 2222 Well, he’s not here I seek for.
PAGE FTLN 2223 No, nor nowhere else but in your brain.
FORD FTLN 2224 160 Help to search my house this one time. If I find
FTLN 2225 not what I seek, show no color for my extremity.
FTLN 2226 Let me forever be your table-sport. Let them say of
FTLN 2227 me “As jealous as Ford, that searched a hollow
FTLN 2228 walnut for his wife’s leman.” Satisfy me once
FTLN 2229 165 more. Once more search with me.
Robert and John refill the basket and carry it off.

155
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ACT 4. SC. 2
MISTRESS FORD , calling offstage FTLN 2230 What ho, Mistress
FTLN 2231 Page! Come you and the old woman down. My
FTLN 2232 husband will come into the chamber.
FORD FTLN 2233“Old woman”? What old woman’s that?
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 2234 170 Why, it is my maid’s aunt of Brentford.
FORD FTLN 2235 A witch, a quean, an old cozening quean! Have
FTLN 2236 I not forbid her my house? She comes of errands,
FTLN 2237 does she? We are simple men; we do not know
FTLN 2238 what’s brought to pass under the profession of
FTLN 2239 175 fortune-telling. She works by charms, by spells, by
FTLN 2240 th’ figure, and such daubery as this is, beyond our
FTLN 2241 element. We know nothing.— Come down, you
FTLN 2242 witch, you hag, you! Come down, I say!
Ford seizes a cudgel.
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 2243 Nay, good sweet husband!—Good gentlemen,
FTLN 2244 180 let him not strike the old woman.
Enter Mistress Page and Sir John Falstaff disguised
as an old woman.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 2245 Come, Mother Pratt; come, give me
FTLN 2246 your hand.
FORD FTLN 2247 I’ll pratt her. (He beats Falstaff.) Out of my
FTLN 2248 door, you witch, you rag, you baggage, you polecat,
FTLN 2249 185 you runnion! Out, out! I’ll conjure you, I’ll
FTLN 2250 fortune-tell you! Falstaff exits.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 2251 Are you not ashamed? I think you have
FTLN 2252 killed the poor woman.
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 2253 Nay, he will do it.—’Tis a goodly credit
FTLN 2254 190 for you.
FORD FTLN 2255 Hang her, witch!
SIR HUGH FTLN 2256 By yea and no, I think the ’oman is a witch
FTLN 2257 indeed. I like not when a ’oman has a great peard.
FTLN 2258 I spy a great peard under her muffler.
FORD FTLN 2259 195 Will you follow, gentlemen? I beseech you, follow.
FTLN 2260 See but the issue of my jealousy. If I cry out
FTLN 2261 thus upon no trail, never trust me when I open
FTLN 2262 again.

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ACT 4. SC. 3
PAGE FTLN 2263 Let’s obey his humor a little further. Come,
FTLN 2264 200 gentlemen.
Ford, Page, Caius, Sir Hugh, and Shallow exit.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 2265 Trust me, he beat him most pitifully.
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 2266 Nay, by th’ Mass, that he did not; he
FTLN 2267 beat him most unpitifully, methought.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 2268 I’ll have the cudgel hallowed and hung
FTLN 2269 205 o’er the altar. It hath done meritorious service.
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 2270 What think you? May we, with the
FTLN 2271 warrant of womanhood and the witness of a good
FTLN 2272 conscience, pursue him with any further revenge?
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 2273 The spirit of wantonness is, sure,
FTLN 2274 210 scared out of him. If the devil have him not in fee
FTLN 2275 simple, with fine and recovery, he will never, I
FTLN 2276 think, in the way of waste, attempt us again.
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 2277 Shall we tell our husbands how we
FTLN 2278 have served him?
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 2279 215 Yes, by all means—if it be but to scrape
FTLN 2280 the figures out of your husband’s brains. If they
FTLN 2281 can find in their hearts the poor unvirtuous fat
FTLN 2282 knight shall be any further afflicted, we two will
FTLN 2283 still be the ministers.
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 2284 220 I’ll warrant they’ll have him publicly
FTLN 2285 shamed, and methinks there would be no period to
FTLN 2286 the jest should he not be publicly shamed.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 2287 Come, to the forge with it, then shape
FTLN 2288 it. I would not have things cool.
They exit.
Scene 3
Enter Host and Bardolph.
BARDOLPH FTLN 2289 Sir, the Germans desire to have three of
FTLN 2290 your horses. The Duke himself will be tomorrow at
FTLN 2291 court, and they are going to meet him.

159
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ACT 4. SC. 4
HOST FTLN 2292 What duke should that be comes so secretly? I
FTLN 2293 5 hear not of him in the court. Let me speak with the
FTLN 2294 gentlemen. They speak English?
BARDOLPH FTLN 2295 Ay, sir. I’ll call them to you.
HOST FTLN 2296 They shall have my horses, but I’ll make them
FTLN 2297 pay. I’ll sauce them. They have had my house a
FTLN 2298 10 week at command; I have turned away my other
FTLN 2299 guests. They must come off. I’ll sauce them. Come.
They exit.
Scene 4
Enter Page, Ford, Mistress Page, Mistress Ford, and
Sir Hugh Evans.
SIR HUGH FTLN 2300’Tis one of the best discretions of a ’oman as
FTLN 2301 ever I did look upon.
PAGE FTLN 2302 And did he send you both these letters at an
FTLN 2303 instant?
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 2304 5 Within a quarter of an hour.
FORD
FTLN 2305 Pardon me, wife. Henceforth do what thou wilt.
FTLN 2306 I rather will suspect the sun with cold
FTLN 2307 Than thee with wantonness. Now doth thy honor
FTLN 2308 stand,
FTLN 2309 10 In him that was of late an heretic,
FTLN 2310 As firm as faith.
PAGE FTLN 2311 ’Tis well, ’tis well. No more.
FTLN 2312 Be not as extreme in submission as in offense.
FTLN 2313 But let our plot go forward. Let our wives
FTLN 2314 15 Yet once again, to make us public sport,
FTLN 2315 Appoint a meeting with this old fat fellow,
FTLN 2316 Where we may take him and disgrace him for it.
FORD
FTLN 2317 There is no better way than that they spoke of.
PAGE FTLN 2318 How, to send him word they’ll meet him in the
FTLN 2319 20 park at midnight? Fie, fie, he’ll never come.

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The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 4. SC. 4
SIR HUGH FTLN 2320 You say he has been thrown in the rivers
FTLN 2321 and has been grievously peaten as an old ’oman.
FTLN 2322 Methinks there should be terrors in him, that he
FTLN 2323 should not come. Methinks his flesh is punished;
FTLN 2324 25 he shall have no desires.
PAGE FTLN 2325 So think I too.
MISTRESS FORD
FTLN 2326 Devise but how you’ll use him when he comes,
FTLN 2327 And let us two devise to bring him thither.
MISTRESS PAGE
FTLN 2328 There is an old tale goes that Herne the Hunter,
FTLN 2329 30 Sometime a keeper here in Windsor Forest,
FTLN 2330 Doth all the wintertime, at still midnight,
FTLN 2331 Walk round about an oak, with great ragged horns,
FTLN 2332 And there he blasts the tree, and takes the cattle,
FTLN 2333 And makes milch-kine yield blood, and shakes a
FTLN 2334 35 chain
FTLN 2335 In a most hideous and dreadful manner.
FTLN 2336 You have heard of such a spirit, and well you know
FTLN 2337 The superstitious idle-headed eld
FTLN 2338 Received and did deliver to our age
FTLN 2339 40 This tale of Herne the Hunter for a truth.
PAGE
FTLN 2340 Why, yet there want not many that do fear
FTLN 2341 In deep of night to walk by this Herne’s oak.
FTLN 2342 But what of this?
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 2343 Marry, this is our device,
FTLN 2344 45 That Falstaff at that oak shall meet with us.
PAGE
FTLN 2345 Well, let it not be doubted but he’ll come.
FTLN 2346 And in this shape when you have brought him
FTLN 2347 thither,
FTLN 2348 What shall be done with him? What is your plot?
MISTRESS PAGE
FTLN 2349 50 That likewise have we thought upon, and thus:
FTLN 2350 Nan Page my daughter, and my little son,

163
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 4. SC. 4
FTLN 2351 And three or four more of their growth we’ll dress
FTLN 2352 Like urchins, aufs, and fairies, green and white,
FTLN 2353 With rounds of waxen tapers on their heads
FTLN 2354 55 And rattles in their hands. Upon a sudden,
FTLN 2355 As Falstaff, she, and I are newly met,
FTLN 2356 Let them from forth a sawpit rush at once
FTLN 2357 With some diffusèd song. Upon their sight,
FTLN 2358 We two in great amazedness will fly.
FTLN 2359 60 Then let them all encircle him about,
FTLN 2360 And, fairy-like, to pinch the unclean knight,
FTLN 2361 And ask him why, that hour of fairy revel,
FTLN 2362 In their so sacred paths he dares to tread
FTLN 2363 In shape profane.
FORD FTLN 2364 65 And till he tell the truth,
FTLN 2365 Let the supposèd fairies pinch him sound
FTLN 2366 And burn him with their tapers.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 2367 The truth being known,
FTLN 2368 We’ll all present ourselves, dis-horn the spirit,
FTLN 2369 70 And mock him home to Windsor.
FORD FTLN 2370 The children must
FTLN 2371 Be practiced well to this, or they’ll ne’er do ’t.
SIR HUGH FTLN 2372 I will teach the children their behaviors, and
FTLN 2373 I will be like a jackanapes also, to burn the knight
FTLN 2374 75 with my taber.
FORD FTLN 2375 That will be excellent. I’ll go buy them vizards.
MISTRESS PAGE
FTLN 2376 My Nan shall be the queen of all the fairies,
FTLN 2377 Finely attirèd in a robe of white.
PAGE
FTLN 2378 That silk will I go buy. (Aside.) And in that time
FTLN 2379 80 Shall Master Slender steal my Nan away
FTLN 2380 And marry her at Eton.—Go, send to Falstaff
FTLN 2381 straight.
FORD
FTLN 2382 Nay, I’ll to him again in name of Brook.
FTLN 2383 He’ll tell me all his purpose. Sure he’ll come.

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ACT 4. SC. 5
MISTRESS PAGE
FTLN 2384 85 Fear not you that. Go get us properties
FTLN 2385 And tricking for our fairies.
SIR HUGH FTLN 2386 Let us about it. It is admirable pleasures and
FTLN 2387 fery honest knaveries.
Page, Ford, and Sir Hugh exit.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 2388 Go, Mistress Ford,
FTLN 2389 90 Send quickly to Sir John to know his mind.
Mistress Ford exits.
FTLN 2390 I’ll to the doctor. He hath my good will,
FTLN 2391 And none but he, to marry with Nan Page.
FTLN 2392 That Slender, though well-landed, is an idiot,
FTLN 2393 And he my husband best of all affects.
FTLN 2394 95 The doctor is well-moneyed, and his friends
FTLN 2395 Potent at court. He, none but he, shall have her,
FTLN 2396 Though twenty thousand worthier come to crave her.
She exits.
Scene 5
Enter Host and Simple.
HOST FTLN 2397 What wouldst thou have, boor? What, thickskin?
FTLN 2398 Speak, breathe, discuss; brief, short, quick,
FTLN 2399 snap.
SIMPLE FTLN 2400 Marry, sir, I come to speak with Sir John Falstaff
FTLN 2401 5 from Master Slender.
HOST FTLN 2402 There’s his chamber, his house, his castle, his
FTLN 2403 standing-bed and truckle-bed. ’Tis painted about
FTLN 2404 with the story of the Prodigal, fresh and new. Go,
FTLN 2405 knock and call. He’ll speak like an Anthropophaginian
FTLN 2406 10 unto thee. Knock, I say.
SIMPLE FTLN 2407 There’s an old woman, a fat woman, gone up
FTLN 2408 into his chamber. I’ll be so bold as stay, sir, till she
FTLN 2409 come down. I come to speak with her, indeed.
HOST FTLN 2410 Ha? A fat woman? The knight may be robbed.
FTLN 2411 15 I’ll call.—Bully knight! Bully Sir John! Speak from

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ACT 4. SC. 5
FTLN 2412 thy lungs military. Art thou there? It is thine Host,
FTLN 2413 thine Ephesian, calls.
FALSTAFF , within FTLN 2414 How now, mine Host?
HOST FTLN 2415 Here’s a Bohemian Tartar tarries the coming
FTLN 2416 20 down of thy fat woman. Let her descend, bully, let
FTLN 2417 her descend. My chambers are honorable. Fie! Privacy?
FTLN 2418 Fie!
Enter Sir John Falstaff.
FALSTAFF FTLN 2419 There was, mine Host, an old fat woman
FTLN 2420 even now with me, but she’s gone.
SIMPLE FTLN 2421 25 Pray you, sir, was ’t not the wise woman of
FTLN 2422 Brentford?
FALSTAFF FTLN 2423 Ay, marry, was it, mussel-shell. What would
FTLN 2424 you with her?
SIMPLE FTLN 2425 My master, sir, my Master Slender, sent to her,
FTLN 2426 30 seeing her go through the streets, to know, sir,
FTLN 2427 whether one Nym, sir, that beguiled him of a chain,
FTLN 2428 had the chain or no.
FALSTAFF FTLN 2429 I spake with the old woman about it.
SIMPLE FTLN 2430 And what says she, I pray, sir?
FALSTAFF FTLN 2431 35 Marry, she says that the very same man that
FTLN 2432 beguiled Master Slender of his chain cozened him
FTLN 2433 of it.
SIMPLE FTLN 2434 I would I could have spoken with the woman
FTLN 2435 herself. I had other things to have spoken with her
FTLN 2436 40 too from him.
FALSTAFF FTLN 2437 What are they? Let us know.
HOST FTLN 2438 Ay, come. Quick!
SIMPLE FTLN 2439 I may not conceal them, sir.
HOST FTLN 2440 Conceal them, or thou diest.
SIMPLE FTLN 2441 45 Why, sir, they were nothing but about Mistress
FTLN 2442 Anne Page, to know if it were my master’s fortune
FTLN 2443 to have her or no.
FALSTAFF FTLN 2444’Tis; ’tis his fortune.
SIMPLE FTLN 2445 What, sir?

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The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 4. SC. 5
FALSTAFF FTLN 2446 50 To have her or no. Go. Say the woman told
FTLN 2447 me so.
SIMPLE FTLN 2448 May I be bold to say so, sir?
FALSTAFF FTLN 2449 Ay, sir; like who more bold.
SIMPLE FTLN 2450 I thank your Worship. I shall make my master
FTLN 2451 55 glad with these tidings. He exits.
HOST FTLN 2452 Thou art clerkly, thou art clerkly, Sir John. Was
FTLN 2453 there a wise woman with thee?
FALSTAFF FTLN 2454 Ay, that there was, mine Host, one that hath
FTLN 2455 taught me more wit than ever I learned before in
FTLN 2456 60 my life. And I paid nothing for it neither, but was
FTLN 2457 paid for my learning.
Enter Bardolph.
BARDOLPH , to Host FTLN 2458 Out, alas, sir, cozenage, mere
FTLN 2459 cozenage!
HOST FTLN 2460 Where be my horses? Speak well of them,
FTLN 2461 65 varletto.
BARDOLPH FTLN 2462 Run away with the cozeners. For so soon as
FTLN 2463 I came beyond Eton, they threw me off from behind
FTLN 2464 one of them in a slough of mire, and set
FTLN 2465 spurs, and away, like three German devils, three
FTLN 2466 70 Doctor Faustuses.
HOST FTLN 2467 They are gone but to meet the Duke, villain. Do
FTLN 2468 not say they be fled. Germans are honest men.
Enter Sir Hugh Evans.
SIR HUGH FTLN 2469 Where is mine Host?
HOST FTLN 2470 What is the matter, sir?
SIR HUGH FTLN 2471 75 Have a care of your entertainments. There is
FTLN 2472 a friend of mine come to town tells me there is
FTLN 2473 three cozen-Germans that has cozened all the
FTLN 2474 hosts of Readings, of Maidenhead, of Colnbrook,
FTLN 2475 of horses and money. I tell you for good will, look
FTLN 2476 80 you. You are wise, and full of gibes and vlouting-stocks,
FTLN 2477 and ’tis not convenient you should be cozened.
FTLN 2478 Fare you well. He exits.

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ACT 4. SC. 5
Enter Doctor Caius.
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLN 2479 Vere is mine Host de Jarteer?
HOST FTLN 2480 Here, Master Doctor, in perplexity and doubtful
FTLN 2481 85 dilemma.
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLN 2482 I cannot tell vat is dat. But it is tell-a me
FTLN 2483 dat you make grand preparation for a duke de
FTLN 2484 Jamanie. By my trot, dere is no duke that the court
FTLN 2485 is know to come. I tell you for good will. Adieu.
He exits.
HOST , to Bardolph FTLN 2486 90 Hue and cry, villain, go!—Assist
FTLN 2487 me, knight. I am undone.—Fly, run; hue and cry,
FTLN 2488 villain! I am undone. Host and Bardolph exit.
FALSTAFF FTLN 2489 I would all the world might be cozened, for I
FTLN 2490 have been cozened and beaten too. If it should
FTLN 2491 95 come to the ear of the court how I have been transformed,
FTLN 2492 and how my transformation hath been
FTLN 2493 washed and cudgeled, they would melt me out of
FTLN 2494 my fat drop by drop, and liquor fishermen’s boots
FTLN 2495 with me. I warrant they would whip me with their
FTLN 2496 100 fine wits till I were as crestfallen as a dried pear. I
FTLN 2497 never prospered since I forswore myself at
FTLN 2498 primero. Well, if my wind were but long enough, I
FTLN 2499 would repent.
Enter Mistress Quickly.
FTLN 2500 Now, whence come you?
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLN 2501 105 From the two parties, forsooth.
FALSTAFF FTLN 2502 The devil take one party, and his dam the
FTLN 2503 other, and so they shall be both bestowed. I have
FTLN 2504 suffered more for their sakes, more than the villainous
FTLN 2505 inconstancy of man’s disposition is able to
FTLN 2506 110 bear.
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLN 2507 And have not they suffered? Yes, I
FTLN 2508 warrant, speciously one of them. Mistress Ford,

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ACT 4. SC. 6
FTLN 2509 good heart, is beaten black and blue that you cannot
FTLN 2510 see a white spot about her.
FALSTAFF FTLN 2511 115 What tell’st thou me of black and blue? I was
FTLN 2512 beaten myself into all the colors of the rainbow,
FTLN 2513 and I was like to be apprehended for the witch of
FTLN 2514 Brentford. But that my admirable dexterity of wit,
FTLN 2515 my counterfeiting the action of an old woman, delivered
FTLN 2516 120 me, the knave constable had set me i’ th’
FTLN 2517 stocks, i’ th’ common stocks, for a witch.
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLN 2518 Sir, let me speak with you in your
FTLN 2519 chamber. You shall hear how things go, and, I warrant,
FTLN 2520 to your content. Here is a letter will say
FTLN 2521 125 somewhat. She gives him a paper. Good hearts,
FTLN 2522 what ado here is to bring you together! Sure, one
FTLN 2523 of you does not serve heaven well, that you are so
FTLN 2524 crossed.
FALSTAFF FTLN 2525 Come up into my chamber.
They exit.
Scene 6
Enter Fenton and Host.
HOST FTLN 2526 Master Fenton, talk not to me. My mind is
FTLN 2527 heavy. I will give over all.
FENTON
FTLN 2528 Yet hear me speak. Assist me in my purpose,
FTLN 2529 And, as I am a gentleman, I’ll give thee
FTLN 2530 5 A hundred pound in gold more than your loss.
HOST FTLN 2531 I will hear you, Master Fenton, and I will, at the
FTLN 2532 least, keep your counsel.
FENTON
FTLN 2533 From time to time I have acquainted you
FTLN 2534 With the dear love I bear to fair Anne Page,
FTLN 2535 10 Who mutually hath answered my affection,
FTLN 2536 So far forth as herself might be her chooser,

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ACT 4. SC. 6
FTLN 2537 Even to my wish. I have a letter from her
FTLN 2538 Of such contents as you will wonder at,
FTLN 2539 The mirth whereof so larded with my matter
FTLN 2540 15 That neither singly can be manifested
FTLN 2541 Without the show of both. Fat Falstaff
FTLN 2542 Hath a great scene; the image of the jest
FTLN 2543 I’ll show you here at large. He shows the Host a
paper. FTLN 2544 Hark, good mine Host:
FTLN 2545 20 Tonight at Herne’s oak, just ’twixt twelve and one,
FTLN 2546 Must my sweet Nan present the Fairy Queen—
FTLN 2547 The purpose why is here—in which disguise,
FTLN 2548 While other jests are something rank on foot,
FTLN 2549 Her father hath commanded her to slip
FTLN 2550 25 Away with Slender, and with him at Eton
FTLN 2551 Immediately to marry. She hath consented. Now, sir,
FTLN 2552 Her mother, ever strong against that match
FTLN 2553 And firm for Doctor Caius, hath appointed
FTLN 2554 That he shall likewise shuffle her away,
FTLN 2555 30 While other sports are tasking of their minds,
FTLN 2556 And at the dean’ry, where a priest attends,
FTLN 2557 Straight marry her. To this her mother’s plot
FTLN 2558 She, seemingly obedient, likewise hath
FTLN 2559 Made promise to the doctor. Now, thus it rests:
FTLN 2560 35 Her father means she shall be all in white,
FTLN 2561 And in that habit, when Slender sees his time
FTLN 2562 To take her by the hand and bid her go,
FTLN 2563 She shall go with him. Her mother hath intended
FTLN 2564 The better to denote her to the doctor—
FTLN 2565 40 For they must all be masked and vizarded—
FTLN 2566 That quaint in green she shall be loose enrobed,
FTLN 2567 With ribbons pendent flaring ’bout her head;
FTLN 2568 And when the doctor spies his vantage ripe,
FTLN 2569 To pinch her by the hand, and on that token
FTLN 2570 45 The maid hath given consent to go with him.

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ACT 4. SC. 6
HOST
FTLN 2571 Which means she to deceive, father or mother?
FENTON
FTLN 2572 Both, my good Host, to go along with me.
FTLN 2573 And here it rests, that you’ll procure the vicar
FTLN 2574 To stay for me at church ’twixt twelve and one,
FTLN 2575 50 And, in the lawful name of marrying,
FTLN 2576 To give our hearts united ceremony.
HOST
FTLN 2577 Well, husband your device. I’ll to the vicar.
FTLN 2578 Bring you the maid, you shall not lack a priest.
FENTON
FTLN 2579 So shall I evermore be bound to thee;
FTLN 2580 55 Besides, I’ll make a present recompense.
They exit.

ACT 5
Scene 1
Enter Sir John Falstaff and Mistress Quickly.
FALSTAFF FTLN 2581 Prithee, no more prattling. Go. I’ll hold. This
FTLN 2582 is the third time; I hope good luck lies in odd numbers.
FTLN 2583 Away, go. They say there is divinity in odd
FTLN 2584 numbers, either in nativity, chance, or death.
FTLN 2585 5 Away.
MISTRESS QUICKLY FTLN 2586 I’ll provide you a chain, and I’ll do
FTLN 2587 what I can to get you a pair of horns.
FALSTAFF FTLN 2588 Away, I say! Time wears. Hold up your head,
FTLN 2589 and mince. Mistress Quickly exits.
Enter Ford disguised as Brook.
FTLN 2590 10 How now, Master Brook! Master Brook, the
FTLN 2591 matter will be known tonight or never. Be you in
FTLN 2592 the park about midnight, at Herne’s oak, and you
FTLN 2593 shall see wonders.
FORD , as Brook FTLN 2594 Went you not to her yesterday, sir, as
FTLN 2595 15 you told me you had appointed?
FALSTAFF FTLN 2596 I went to her, Master Brook, as you see,
FTLN 2597 like a poor old man, but I came from her, Master
FTLN 2598 Brook, like a poor old woman. That same knave
FTLN 2599 Ford, her husband, hath the finest mad devil of
FTLN 2600 20 jealousy in him, Master Brook, that ever governed
FTLN 2601 frenzy. I will tell you, he beat me grievously,
FTLN 2602 in the shape of a woman; for in the shape of man,
181

183
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 5. SC. 3
FTLN 2603 Master Brook, I fear not Goliath with a weaver’s
FTLN 2604 beam, because I know also life is a shuttle. I am in
FTLN 2605 25 haste. Go along with me; I’ll tell you all, Master
FTLN 2606 Brook. Since I plucked geese, played truant, and
FTLN 2607 whipped top, I knew not what ’twas to be beaten
FTLN 2608 till lately. Follow me. I’ll tell you strange things of
FTLN 2609 this knave Ford, on whom tonight I will be revenged,
FTLN 2610 30 and I will deliver his wife into your hand.
FTLN 2611 Follow. Strange things in hand, Master Brook!
FTLN 2612 Follow.
They exit.
Scene 2
Enter Page, Shallow, and Slender.
PAGE FTLN 2613 Come, come. We’ll couch i’ th’ castle ditch till we
FTLN 2614 see the light of our fairies.—Remember, son Slender,
FTLN 2615 my—
SLENDER FTLN 2616 Ay, forsooth, I have spoke with her, and we
FTLN 2617 5 have a nayword how to know one another. I come
FTLN 2618 to her in white and cry “mum,” she cries “budget,”
FTLN 2619 and by that we know one another.
SHALLOW FTLN 2620 That’s good too. But what needs either your
FTLN 2621 “mum” or her “budget”? The white will decipher
FTLN 2622 10 her well enough. It hath struck ten o’clock.
PAGE FTLN 2623 The night is dark. Light and spirits will become
FTLN 2624 it well. Heaven prosper our sport! No man means
FTLN 2625 evil but the devil, and we shall know him by his
FTLN 2626 horns. Let’s away. Follow me.
They exit.
Scene 3
Enter Mistress Page, Mistress Ford, and Doctor Caius.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 2627 Master Doctor, my daughter is in
FTLN 2628 green. When you see your time, take her by the

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The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 5. SC. 4
FTLN 2629 hand; away with her to the deanery, and dispatch
FTLN 2630 it quickly. Go before into the park. We two must go
FTLN 2631 5 together.
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLN 2632 I know vat I have to do. Adieu.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 2633 Fare you well, sir. Caius exits.
FTLN 2634 My husband will not rejoice so much at the abuse
FTLN 2635 of Falstaff as he will chafe at the doctor’s marrying
FTLN 2636 10 my daughter. But ’tis no matter. Better a little chiding
FTLN 2637 than a great deal of heartbreak.
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 2638 Where is Nan now, and her troop of
FTLN 2639 fairies, and the Welsh devil Hugh?
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 2640 They are all couched in a pit hard by
FTLN 2641 15 Herne’s oak, with obscured lights, which, at the
FTLN 2642 very instant of Falstaff’s and our meeting, they will
FTLN 2643 at once display to the night.
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 2644 That cannot choose but amaze him.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 2645 If he be not amazed, he will be
FTLN 2646 20 mocked. If he be amazed, he will every way be
FTLN 2647 mocked.
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 2648 We’ll betray him finely.
MISTRESS PAGE
FTLN 2649 Against such lewdsters and their lechery,
FTLN 2650 Those that betray them do no treachery.
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 2651 25 The hour draws on. To the oak, to the
FTLN 2652 oak!
They exit.
Scene 4
Enter Sir Hugh Evans and boys disguised,
like him, as Fairies.
SIR HUGH FTLN 2653 Trib, trib, fairies! Come, and remember
FTLN 2654 your parts. Be pold, I pray you. Follow me into the
FTLN 2655 pit, and when I give the watch-’ords, do as I pid
FTLN 2656 you. Come, come; trib, trib. They exit.

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ACT 5. SC. 5
Scene 5
Enter Sir John Falstaff wearing a buck’s head.
FALSTAFF FTLN 2657 The Windsor bell hath struck twelve. The
FTLN 2658 minute draws on. Now, the hot-blooded gods assist
FTLN 2659 me! Remember, Jove, thou wast a bull for thy
FTLN 2660 Europa; love set on thy horns. O powerful love,
FTLN 2661 5 that in some respects makes a beast a man, in
FTLN 2662 some other a man a beast! You were also, Jupiter,
FTLN 2663 a swan for the love of Leda. O omnipotent love,
FTLN 2664 how near the god drew to the complexion of a
FTLN 2665 goose! A fault done first in the form of a beast; O
FTLN 2666 10 Jove, a beastly fault! And then another fault in the
FTLN 2667 semblance of a fowl; think on ’t, Jove, a foul fault.
FTLN 2668 When gods have hot backs, what shall poor men
FTLN 2669 do? For me, I am here a Windsor stag, and the fattest,
FTLN 2670 I think, i’ th’ forest. Send me a cool rut-time,
FTLN 2671 15 Jove, or who can blame me to piss my tallow?
Enter Mistress Page and Mistress Ford.
FTLN 2672 Who comes here? My doe?
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 2673 Sir John? Art thou there, my deer, my
FTLN 2674 male deer?
FALSTAFF FTLN 2675 My doe with the black scut! Let the sky rain
FTLN 2676 20 potatoes, let it thunder to the tune of “Greensleeves,”
FTLN 2677 hail kissing-comfits, and snow eryngoes; let there
FTLN 2678 come a tempest of provocation, I will shelter me
FTLN 2679 here. He embraces her.
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 2680 Mistress Page is come with me,
FTLN 2681 25 sweetheart.
FALSTAFF FTLN 2682 Divide me like a bribed buck, each a haunch.
FTLN 2683 I will keep my sides to myself, my shoulders for
FTLN 2684 the fellow of this walk, and my horns I bequeath
FTLN 2685 your husbands. Am I a woodman, ha? Speak I like
FTLN 2686 30 Herne the Hunter? Why, now is Cupid a child of
FTLN 2687 conscience; he makes restitution. As I am a true
FTLN 2688 spirit, welcome. A noise of horns within.

189
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 5. SC. 5
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 2689 Alas, what noise?
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 2690 Heaven forgive our sins!
FALSTAFF FTLN 2691 35 What should this be?
MISTRESS FORD and MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 2692 Away, away.
The two women run off.
FALSTAFF FTLN 2693 I think the devil will not have me damned,
FTLN 2694 lest the oil that’s in me should set hell on fire. He
FTLN 2695 would never else cross me thus.
Enter Mistress Quickly, Pistol, Sir Hugh Evans,
Anne Page and boys, all disguised as Fairies and
carrying tapers.
MISTRESS QUICKLY , as Fairy Queen
FTLN 2696 40 Fairies black, gray, green, and white,
FTLN 2697 You moonshine revelers and shades of night,
FTLN 2698 You orphan heirs of fixèd destiny,
FTLN 2699 Attend your office and your quality.
FTLN 2700 Crier Hobgoblin, make the fairy oyes.
PISTOL , as Hobgoblin
FTLN 2701 45 Elves, list your names. Silence, you airy toys!—
FTLN 2702 Cricket, to Windsor chimneys shalt thou leap,
FTLN 2703 Where fires thou find’st unraked and hearths
FTLN 2704 unswept.
FTLN 2705 There pinch the maids as blue as bilberry.
FTLN 2706 50 Our radiant queen hates sluts and sluttery.
FALSTAFF , aside
FTLN 2707 They are fairies. He that speaks to them shall die.
FTLN 2708 I’ll wink and couch. No man their works must eye.
He crouches down and covers his eyes.
SIR HUGH , as a fairy
FTLN 2709 Where’s Bead? Go you, and where you find a maid
FTLN 2710 That ere she sleep has thrice her prayers said,
FTLN 2711 55 Raise up the organs of her fantasy;
FTLN 2712 Sleep she as sound as careless infancy.
FTLN 2713 But those as sleep and think not on their sins,
FTLN 2714 Pinch them, arms, legs, backs, shoulders, sides, and
FTLN 2715 shins.

191
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 5. SC. 5
MISTRESS QUICKLY , as Fairy Queen FTLN 2716 60 About, about!
FTLN 2717 Search Windsor Castle, elves, within and out.
FTLN 2718 Strew good luck, aufs, on every sacred room,
FTLN 2719 That it may stand till the perpetual doom
FTLN 2720 In state as wholesome as in state ’tis fit,
FTLN 2721 65 Worthy the owner, and the owner it.
FTLN 2722 The several chairs of order look you scour
FTLN 2723 With juice of balm and every precious flower.
FTLN 2724 Each fair installment, coat, and sev’ral crest
FTLN 2725 With loyal blazon evermore be blest!
FTLN 2726 70 And nightly, meadow fairies, look you sing,
FTLN 2727 Like to the Garter’s compass, in a ring.
FTLN 2728 Th’ expressure that it bears, green let it be,
FTLN 2729 More fertile-fresh than all the field to see;
FTLN 2730 And Honi soit qui mal y pense write
FTLN 2731 75 In em’rald tufts, flowers purple, blue, and white,
FTLN 2732 Like sapphire, pearl, and rich embroidery,
FTLN 2733 Buckled below fair knighthood’s bending knee.
FTLN 2734 Fairies use flowers for their charactery.
FTLN 2735 Away, disperse! But till ’tis one o’clock,
FTLN 2736 80 Our dance of custom round about the oak
FTLN 2737 Of Herne the Hunter let us not forget.
SIR HUGH , as a fairy
FTLN 2738 Pray you, lock hand in hand. Yourselves in order set;
FTLN 2739 And twenty glowworms shall our lanterns be,
FTLN 2740 To guide our measure round about the tree.
FTLN 2741 85 But stay! I smell a man of Middle Earth.
FALSTAFF , aside FTLN 2742 Heavens defend me from that Welsh
FTLN 2743 fairy, lest he transform me to a piece of cheese.
PISTOL , as Hobgoblin, to Falstaff
FTLN 2744 Vile worm, thou wast o’erlooked even in thy birth.
MISTRESS QUICKLY , as Fairy Queen, to Sir Hugh
FTLN 2745 With trial-fire touch me his finger-end.
FTLN 2746 90 If he be chaste, the flame will back descend
FTLN 2747 And turn him to no pain. But if he start,
FTLN 2748 It is the flesh of a corrupted heart.

193
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 5. SC. 5
PISTOL , as Hobgoblin
FTLN 2749 A trial, come!
SIR HUGH , as a fairy FTLN 2750 Come, will this wood take fire?
Sir Hugh puts a taper to Falstaff’s finger, and he starts.
FALSTAFF FTLN 2751 95 O, O, O!
MISTRESS QUICKLY , as Fairy Queen
FTLN 2752 Corrupt, corrupt, and tainted in desire!
FTLN 2753 About him, fairies. Sing a scornful rhyme,
FTLN 2754 And, as you trip, still pinch him to your time.
Here they pinch him and sing about him, and Doctor
Caius comes one way and steals away a boy in white.
And Slender comes another way; he takes a boy in
green. And Fenton steals Mistress Anne Page.
FAIRIES sing
FTLN 2755 Fie on sinful fantasy!
FTLN 2756 100 Fie on lust and luxury!
FTLN 2757 Lust is but a bloody fire
FTLN 2758 Kindled with unchaste desire,
FTLN 2759 Fed in heart whose flames aspire
FTLN 2760 As thoughts do blow them higher and higher.
FTLN 2761 105 Pinch him, fairies, mutually;
FTLN 2762 Pinch him for his villainy.
FTLN 2763 Pinch him and burn him and turn him about,
FTLN 2764 Till candles and starlight and moonshine be out.
A noise of hunting is made within, and all the fairies
run away from Falstaff, who pulls off his buck’s head
and rises up. Enter Page, Mistress Page,
Mistress Ford and Ford.
PAGE , to Falstaff
FTLN 2765 Nay, do not fly. I think we have watched you now.
FTLN 2766 110 Will none but Herne the Hunter serve your turn?
MISTRESS PAGE
FTLN 2767 I pray you, come, hold up the jest no higher.—
FTLN 2768 Now, good Sir John, how like you Windsor wives?

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The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 5. SC. 5
She points to the horns.
FTLN 2769 See you these, husband? Do not these fair yokes
FTLN 2770 Become the forest better than the town?
FORD , to Falstaff FTLN 2771 115 Now, sir, who’s a cuckold now?
FTLN 2772 Master Brook, Falstaff’s a knave, a cuckoldly
FTLN 2773 knave. Here are his horns, Master Brook. And,
FTLN 2774 Master Brook, he hath enjoyed nothing of Ford’s
FTLN 2775 but his buck-basket, his cudgel, and twenty
FTLN 2776 120 pounds of money, which must be paid to Master
FTLN 2777 Brook. His horses are arrested for it, Master
FTLN 2778 Brook.
MISTRESS FORD FTLN 2779 Sir John, we have had ill luck. We
FTLN 2780 could never meet. I will never take you for my love
FTLN 2781 125 again, but I will always count you my deer.
FALSTAFF FTLN 2782 I do begin to perceive that I am made an ass.
FORD FTLN 2783 Ay, and an ox too. Both the proofs are extant.
FALSTAFF FTLN 2784 And these are not fairies. I was three or four
FTLN 2785 times in the thought they were not fairies; and yet
FTLN 2786 130 the guiltiness of my mind, the sudden surprise of
FTLN 2787 my powers, drove the grossness of the foppery into
FTLN 2788 a received belief, in despite of the teeth of all
FTLN 2789 rhyme and reason, that they were fairies. See now
FTLN 2790 how wit may be made a Jack-a-Lent when ’tis upon
FTLN 2791 135 ill employment.
SIR HUGH FTLN 2792 Sir John Falstaff, serve Got and leave your
FTLN 2793 desires, and fairies will not pinse you.
FORD FTLN 2794 Well said, Fairy Hugh.
SIR HUGH FTLN 2795 And leave you your jealousies too, I pray
FTLN 2796 140 you.
FORD FTLN 2797 I will never mistrust my wife again till thou art
FTLN 2798 able to woo her in good English.
FALSTAFF FTLN 2799 Have I laid my brain in the sun and dried it,
FTLN 2800 that it wants matter to prevent so gross o’erreaching
FTLN 2801 145 as this? Am I ridden with a Welsh goat too?
FTLN 2802 Shall I have a coxcomb of frieze? ’Tis time I were
FTLN 2803 choked with a piece of toasted cheese.

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ACT 5. SC. 5
SIR HUGH FTLN 2804 Seese is not good to give putter. Your belly is
FTLN 2805 all putter.
FALSTAFF FTLN 2806 150“Seese” and “putter”? Have I lived to stand at
FTLN 2807 the taunt of one that makes fritters of English?
FTLN 2808 This is enough to be the decay of lust and late
FTLN 2809 walking through the realm.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 2810 Why, Sir John, do you think though we
FTLN 2811 155 would have thrust virtue out of our hearts by the
FTLN 2812 head and shoulders, and have given ourselves
FTLN 2813 without scruple to hell, that ever the devil could
FTLN 2814 have made you our delight?
FORD FTLN 2815 What, a hodge-pudding? A bag of flax?
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 2816 160 A puffed man?
PAGE FTLN 2817 Old, cold, withered, and of intolerable entrails?
FORD FTLN 2818 And one that is as slanderous as Satan?
PAGE FTLN 2819 And as poor as Job?
FORD FTLN 2820 And as wicked as his wife?
SIR HUGH FTLN 2821 165 And given to fornications, and to taverns,
FTLN 2822 and sack, and wine, and metheglins, and to drinkings
FTLN 2823 and swearings and starings, pribbles and
FTLN 2824 prabbles?
FALSTAFF FTLN 2825 Well, I am your theme. You have the start of
FTLN 2826 170 me. I am dejected. I am not able to answer the
FTLN 2827 Welsh flannel. Ignorance itself is a plummet o’er
FTLN 2828 me. Use me as you will.
FORD FTLN 2829 Marry, sir, we’ll bring you to Windsor to one
FTLN 2830 Master Brook, that you have cozened of money,
FTLN 2831 175 to whom you should have been a pander. Over and
FTLN 2832 above that you have suffered, I think to repay that
FTLN 2833 money will be a biting affliction.
PAGE FTLN 2834 Yet be cheerful, knight. Thou shalt eat a posset
FTLN 2835 tonight at my house, where I will desire thee to
FTLN 2836 180 laugh at my wife, that now laughs at thee. Tell her
FTLN 2837 Master Slender hath married her daughter.
MISTRESS PAGE , aside FTLN 2838 Doctors doubt that. If Anne
FTLN 2839 Page be my daughter, she is, by this, Doctor Caius’
FTLN 2840 wife.

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ACT 5. SC. 5
Enter Slender.
SLENDER FTLN 2841 185 Whoa, ho, ho, Father Page!
PAGE FTLN 2842 Son, how now! How now, son! Have you
FTLN 2843 dispatched?
SLENDER FTLN 2844“Dispatched”? I’ll make the best in Gloucestershire
FTLN 2845 know on ’t. Would I were hanged, la, else!
PAGE FTLN 2846 190 Of what, son?
SLENDER FTLN 2847 I came yonder at Eton to marry Mistress
FTLN 2848 Anne Page, and she’s a great lubberly boy. If it had
FTLN 2849 not been i’ th’ church, I would have swinged him,
FTLN 2850 or he should have swinged me. If I did not think it
FTLN 2851 195 had been Anne Page, would I might never stir! And
FTLN 2852 ’tis a post-master’s boy.
PAGE FTLN 2853 Upon my life, then, you took the wrong—
SLENDER FTLN 2854 What need you tell me that? I think so, when
FTLN 2855 I took a boy for a girl. If I had been married to him,
FTLN 2856 200 for all he was in woman’s apparel, I would not
FTLN 2857 have had him.
PAGE FTLN 2858 Why, this is your own folly. Did not I tell you
FTLN 2859 how you should know my daughter by her
FTLN 2860 garments?
SLENDER FTLN 2861 205 I went to her in white, and cried “mum,”
FTLN 2862 and she cried “budget,” as Anne and I had appointed,
FTLN 2863 and yet it was not Anne, but a post-master’s
FTLN 2864 boy.
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 2865 Good George, be not angry. I knew of
FTLN 2866 210 your purpose, turned my daughter into green,
FTLN 2867 and indeed she is now with the doctor at the deanery,
FTLN 2868 and there married.
Enter Doctor Caius.
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLN 2869 Vere is Mistress Page? By gar, I am cozened!
FTLN 2870 I ha’ married un garçon, a boy; un paysan, by
FTLN 2871 215 gar, a boy. It is not Anne Page. By gar, I am
FTLN 2872 cozened.

201
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 5. SC. 5
MISTRESS PAGE FTLN 2873 Why? Did you take her in green?
DOCTOR CAIUS FTLN 2874 Ay, be gar, and ’tis a boy. Be gar, I’ll raise
FTLN 2875 all Windsor.
FORD FTLN 2876 220 This is strange. Who hath got the right Anne?
Enter Fenton and Anne Page.
PAGE FTLN 2877 My heart misgives me. Here comes Master Fenton.—
FTLN 2878 How now, Master Fenton!
ANNE FTLN 2879 Pardon, good father. Good my mother, pardon.
PAGE FTLN 2880 Now, mistress, how chance you went not with
FTLN 2881 225 Master Slender?
MISTRESS PAGE
FTLN 2882 Why went you not with Master Doctor, maid?
FENTON
FTLN 2883 You do amaze her. Hear the truth of it.
FTLN 2884 You would have married her most shamefully,
FTLN 2885 Where there was no proportion held in love.
FTLN 2886 230 The truth is, she and I, long since contracted,
FTLN 2887 Are now so sure that nothing can dissolve us.
FTLN 2888 Th’ offense is holy that she hath committed,
FTLN 2889 And this deceit loses the name of craft,
FTLN 2890 Of disobedience, or unduteous title,
FTLN 2891 235 Since therein she doth evitate and shun
FTLN 2892 A thousand irreligious cursèd hours
FTLN 2893 Which forcèd marriage would have brought upon her.
FORD , to Page and Mistress Page
FTLN 2894 Stand not amazed. Here is no remedy.
FTLN 2895 In love the heavens themselves do guide the state.
FTLN 2896 240 Money buys lands, and wives are sold by fate.
FALSTAFF FTLN 2897 I am glad, though you have ta’en a special
FTLN 2898 stand to strike at me, that your arrow hath
FTLN 2899 glanced.
PAGE
FTLN 2900 Well, what remedy? Fenton, heaven give thee joy.
FTLN 2901 245 What cannot be eschewed must be embraced.

203
The Merry Wives of Windsor
ACT 5. SC. 5
FALSTAFF
FTLN 2902 When night-dogs run, all sorts of deer are chased.
MISTRESS PAGE
FTLN 2903 Well, I will muse no further.—Master Fenton,
FTLN 2904 Heaven give you many, many merry days.—
FTLN 2905 Good husband, let us every one go home
FTLN 2906 250 And laugh this sport o’er by a country fire—
FTLN 2907 Sir John and all.
FORD FTLN 2908 Let it be so, Sir John.
FTLN 2909 To Master Brook you yet shall hold your word,
FTLN 2910 For he tonight shall lie with Mistress Ford.
They exit.